"Leisure Suit Serenade"


Wearin' old T-shirts and grubby jeans
People say I look kinda odd
Well, I'm never accepted in the social set
'Cause they say that I'm a clod

But once in a while, I go to my closet
And I put on something mod
And when I step out in my leisure suit
People stand up and applaud

Leisure suit serenade
Slip one on and you got it made
You better hope and pray that the colors don't fade
That's the leisure suit serenade

Now, it don't matter if the collar's bent
If it's got nylon twenty percent
Now I'm as cool as the ASB president
Leisure suit serenade

Leisure suit serenade
Slip one on and you got it made
You better hope and pray that the colors don't fade
That's the leisure suit serenade, oh yeah
That's the leisure suit serenade

"Let Me Be Your Hog"


Let me be your hog
Let me be your hog, now (snort, snort)
I said baby baby baby baby baby
Baby baby baby baby baby baby

"Like A Surgeon"


I finally made it through med school
Somehow I made it through
I'm just an intern
I still make a mistake or two

I was last in my class
Barely passsed at the institute
Now I'm trying to avoid, yah I'm trying to avoid
A malpractise suit

Hey, like a surgeon
Cuttin' for the very first time
Like a surgeon
Organ transplants are my line

Better give me all your gause nurse
This patient's fading fast
Complications have set in
Don't know how long he'll last

Let me see, that I.V.
Here we go - time to operate
I'll pull his indsides out, pull his insides out
And see what he ate

Like a surgeon, hey
Cuttin' for the very first time
Like a surgeon
Here's a waiver for you to sign

Woe, woe, woe

It's a fact - I'm a quack
The disgrace of the A.M.A.
'Cause my patients die, yah my patients die
Before they can pay

Like a surgeon, hey
Cuttin' for the very first time
Like a surgeon
Got your kidneys on my mind

Like a surgeon, ooh like a surgeon
When I reach inside
With my scalpel, and my forceps, and retractors
Oh oh, oh oh, woe, oh

Ooh baby, yah
I can hear your heartbeat
For the very last time

"Livin' In The Fridge"


There's something weird in the fridge today
I don't know what it is
Food I can't recognize
My roommate won't throw a thing away
I guess it's probably his
It looks like it's alive...

And livin' in the fridge... livin' in the fridge
Livin' in the fridge... livin' in the fridge

There's something gross in the fridge today
It's green and growin' hair
It's been there since July
If you can name the object
In that baggie over there
Then mister, you're a better man than I

It's livin' in the fridge
You can't stop (dysentary) the mold from growin' (dysentary)
Livin' in the fridge
Can't tell what (dysentary) it is at all (dysentary)
Livin' in the fridge
You can't stop (dysentary) the mold from growin' (dysentary)
Livin' in the fridge

Tell me, do you think it should be carbon dated
Fumigated or creamated and buried at sea?
You try to save a little bit of you're home cookin'
Couple weeks later, got a scary-lookin' specimen
It always happens my friend
Again & again & again & again

Somethin' stinks in the fridge today
And it's been rottin' there all week
It could be liver cake or wooly mammoth steak
Well, maybe I should another peek...

Livin' in the fridge
You can't stop (dysentary) the mold from growin' (dysentary)
Livin' in the fridge
Can't tell what (dysentary) it is at all (dysentary)
Livin' in the fridge
You can't stop (dysentary) the mold from growin' (dysentary)
Livin' in the fridge
Livin' in the fridge
Don't know what it is, don't know what it is
Livin' in the fridge
Don't know what it is, don't know what it is
Livin' in the fridge
Don't know what it is at all
Livin' in the fridge, yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

"Matter Of Crust"


Some bread, you can get bargain-priced
And every loaf you buy begins with a singular slice
But you know it will go stale again
Always does, its just a question of when

I've lived long enough to have learned
The longer it stays in the toaster, the more it gets burned
But that can't happen to us
Because it's always been a matter of crust

"Melanie"


Me-he-he-helanie
What can the problem be
Sweet Me-he-he-he-helanie
Why won't you go out with me

She lived across the street on the fifteenth floor of the Gilmore building
I saw her in the shower reaching for some soap
I knew she had to be the girl for me
And to think I probably never would have found her
If I hadn't bought that telescope

Oh, Me-he-he-helanie
What can the problem be
Sweet Me-he-he-he-helanie
Why won't you go out with me

I just can't understand it
Why won't you return my phone calls
Are you still mad I gave a Mohawk to your cat
If you'd just say the word
I'm certain that our love would last forever and ever
Or are you too dumb to realize that

Me-he-he-helanie
What can the problem be
Sweet Me-he-he-he-helanie
Why won't you go out with me
How can you ignore me when you know that I can't live without you
I have to go through your garbage just to learn more about you

Melanie, ooh
Oh sweet Me-he-he-helanie
Why won't you go out with me

You weren't impressed when I tattooed your name across my forehead
You wouldn't listen when I promised to be true
I couldn't stand it so I jumped out from the sixteenth story window
Right above you
Now I may be dead but I still love you

Me-he-he-helanie
What can the problem be
Sweet Me-he-he-he-helanie
Why won't you go out with me

Me-he-he-helanie
What can the problem be
Sweet Me-he-he-he-helanie
Why won't you go out with me

I'm singin' Me-he-he-helanie
What can the problem be
Sweet, sweet Me-he-he-he-helanie
Why won't you go out with me

I'm singin' Me-he-he-helanie
What can the problem be
Sweet Me-he-he-he-helanie
Why won't you go out with me

I'm singin' Me-he-he-helanie
What can the problem be
Sweet Me-he-he-he-helanie
Why won't you go out with me

"Money For Nothing/Beverly Hillbillies"


Beverly

Beverly Hillbillies

Huh, now lookie here people
Listen to my story
A little story 'bout a man named Jed
You know something?
That poor mountaineer
They say he barely kept his family fed

Now, let me tell you
One day he was shootin'
Old Jed was shootin' at some food
When all of a sudden right up from the ground, there
Well, there came a bubblin' crude

Oil that is Well, maybe you call it black gold or Texas tea
He gonna move next to Mr. Drysdale And be a Beverly hillbilly...

Before you know it, all the kinfolk are-a-sayin'
Yeah, buddie, move away from there
That little Clampet got his own cement pond
That little Clampet, he's a millionaire

Now, everyone said Californie
Is the place that you oughta be
We got to load up this here truck now
We got to move to Beverly
Hills, that is

Swimming pools
Move-a-move-a-movie stars
Huh
Lookit that, lookit that

Beverly Beverly Beverly hillbillies
Y'all come back now, y'hear?
Beverly Beverly Beverly hillbillies
Beverly Beverly Beverly hillbillies
Beverly Beverly Beverly hillbillies

"Mr. Frump In The Iron Lung"


I visit Mr. Frump in the hospital
I see him most every day
And when I see Mr. Frump in his iron lung
This is what I hear him say

[deep breathing]

Y'know, Mr. Frump is my very best friend
He's never a chump or a tease
He never tells me lies, and best of all
He never disagrees

I bring him candy and flowers every afternoon
Sit down by his side and say "Hi"
And then I ask him his opinion of the world situation
And I wait for Mr. Frump's reply, and Mr. Frump would say

[deep breathing]

Well, unfortunately, soon it came to be
Mr. Frump's dying day
And now I bring to you the very last thing
That Mr. Frump had to say....

[deep breathing, that fades and dies off]

Amen

"My Baby's In Love With Eddie Vedder"


Oh, my baby, my baby she don't want me no more
Ever since she saw his poster in that record store
She says the way he grinds his molars is really sexy
She thinks he's so darn dysfunctional and "Generation X"y
She likes his brooding angst and his wild-eyed stare
Yeah, he's her very favorite slacker multi-millionaire

Well, my baby's in love with Eddie Vedder
She's all crazy 'bout that Eddie Vedder
Once she was mine, but now I better just forget her
'Cause my baby's in love with Eddie Vedder

Now, every time I see him, well, he looks so grim
I guess it really must suck to be a rock star like him
What a pain in the butt to have so much success
Spending all his time moping and avoiding the press
But my girl can't get enough of his sullen demeanor
Like he's some big tortured genious and I'm some kinda wiener

Well, my baby's in love with Eddie Vedder
She's got a thing for that Eddie Vedder
Tell me, what can he do that I can't do better
Now my baby's in love with
I said I said I said my baby's in love with Eddie Vedder
Head over heels for that Eddie Vedder
I cant believe it, now she's knitting him a sweater
'Cause my baby's in love with Eddie Vedder

I knew we were headin' for disaster
When she caught me hangin' out at the Ticketmaster
Now she's got an unrequited adoratioon
For the frustrated, agitated, designated alienated
Spokesman for the disaffected grunge generation

Well, I don't wear Doc MArtens and I don't wear flannel
And I don't boycott the music video channel
And I just can't compete with all that money and fame
But I know two can play at this game
Yeah, well, let's just see how jealous she'll get
When I start stalking Alanis Morissette

Well, mny baby's in love with Eddie Vedder
She's all crazy 'bout that Eddie Vedder
Once she was mine but now I better just forget her
'Cause my baby's in love with
I said I said I said my baby's in love with Eddie Vedder
Why'd she have to fall for that Eddie Vedder
If she wants to leave me, I guess I better let her
'Cause my baby's in love with Eddie Vedder

"My Bologna"


Ooh, my little hungry one, hungry one
Open up a package of my bologna
Ooh, I think the toast is done, the toast is done
Top it with a little of my bologna

Never gonna stop, eat it up
Such a tasty snack I always eat too much, then throw up
But I'll soon be back for my, my, my, yi, yi, woo
M-m-m-my bologna

Spreadin' on the mustard now, show me how
Spread it on a litle of this bologna
Hopin' that we don't run out, don't run out
If we do I'm sure that I'll miss bologna

Never gonna stop, eat it up
Such a tasty snack I always eat too much, then throw up
But I'll soon be back for my, my, my, yi, yi, woo
M-m-m-my bologna
M-m-m-my bologna

[belch]

Goin' to the market now, market now
I'm the city's biggest bologna buyer
Walkin' down the shopping isles, shopping isles
Filling up my basket with Oscar Meyer

Never gonna stop, eat it up
Such a tasty snack I always eat too much, then throw up
But I'll soon be back for my, my, my, yi, yi, woo
M-m-m-m-m-m-m-my, my, my, yi, yi, woo
M-m-m-my bologna
M-m-m-my bologna
M-m-m-my bologna
M-m-m-my bologna