"Germs"


Sometimes I really want to be alone
But that's one state I'm never in
Because I know that I've got millions upon millions
Of tiny, one-celled organisms living on my skin

(Germs) I rub and scrub until my flesh is raw and bleeding
(Germs) But they just come right back
(Germs) I can't even see 'em, but I know they're up to something
Hey, don't touch that - you don't know where it's been

They're all over me
They're inside of me
Can't get 'em offa me
I'm covered with ... microscopic bacteria
What do they want from me
What'll they do to me
There's no escape for me
I'm crawling with ... microscopic bacteria

Now if I ever dare to go to sleep
That's when they start their sneak attack
In the morning I wake up in utter horror
To find my teeth are covered with bacterial plaque

(Germs) Can't get those parasitic creatures off my face
(Germs) And there's more comin' every day
(Germs) I never said that they could camp out on my body
I wish they'd pack their tiny little bags and move away

They're all over me
They're inside of me
Can't get 'em offa me
I'm covered with ... microscopic bacteria
What do they want from me
What'll they do to me
There's no escape for me
I'm crawling with ... microscopic bacteria

They're creepin' around my shorts
They're under the bathroom sink
They're ridin' inside my car
They're swimmin' in my drink
They're hidin' between my toes
They're lurkin' in every kiss
I got 'em way up my nose
In every orafice
I'm gonna show them who's boss
I'm gonna get even yet
Just gimme some Lysol spray
Just hand me a moist towelette
Don't tell me I'm paranoid
I know that they're after me
Look under the microscope
See??

They're all over me
They're inside of me
Can't get 'em offa me
I'm covered with ... microscopic bacteria
What do they want from me
What'll they do to me
There's no escape for me
I'm crawling with ... microscopic bacteria

They're all over me
I can feel 'em all over me
Over every part of me
Microscopic bacteria
I know they're watching me
They're always watching me
They're coming after me
Microscopic bacteria
Won't somebody help me
Please somebody help me
You've got to believe me
They're out to get me
They wanna control me
They wanna destroy me
They're tryin' to kill me
It kind of upsets me

"Girls Just Want To Have Lunch"


Some girls like to buy new shoes
And others like drivin' trucks and wearing tattoos
There's only one thing that they all like a bunch
Oh, girls, they want to have lunch
Oh, girls just want to have lunch

I know how to keep a woman satisfied
When I whip out my Diner's Card their eyes get so wide
They're always in the mood for something to munch
Oh, girls, they want to have lunch
Oh, girls just want to have

That's all they really want
Some lunch
Don't ask 'em to dinner or breakfast or brunch
'Cause girls, they want to have lunch
Oh, girls just want to have lunch

Girls, they want
Want to have lunch
Girls wanna have

She eats like she got a hole in her neck
And I'm the one that always gets stuck with the check
Can't figure out how come they don't weigh a ton
Oh, girls, they want to have lunch
Oh, girls just want to have

That's all they really want
Is some lunch
Don't know for certain but I've got a hunch
Those girls, they want to have lunch
Oh, girls just want to have lunch

Girls, they want
Want to have lunch
Girls wanna have

They just want to
They just want to
Girls

They just want to
They just want to
Girls just want to have lunch

Girls
Girls just want to have lunch

They just want to
They just want to
They just want to
They just want to
They just want to
They just want to

Good Old Days


Oh some times I think back to when I was younger
Life was so much simpler then
Dad would be up at dawn
He'd be watering the lawn
Or maybe going fishing again

Oh and mom would be fixing up something in the kitchen
Fresh biscuits or hot apple pie
And I'd spend all day long in the basement
Torturing rats with a hack-saw
And pulling the wings off of flies

Those were the good old days
Those were the good old days
The years go by but the memory stays
And those were the good old days

I can still remember good old Mr. Fender
Who ran the corner grocery store
Oh, he'd stroll down the aisle with a big friendly smile
And he'd say "Howdy" when you walked in the door

Always treated me nice, gave me kindly advice
I don't know why I set fire to his place
Oh I'll never forget the day I bashed in his head
Well you should've seen the look on his face

Let me tell ya now

Those were the good old days
Those were the good old days
The years go by but the memory stays
And those were the good old days

Do you remember sweet Michelle
She was my high school romance
She was fun to talk to and nice to smell
So I took her to the homecoming dance

Then I tied her to a chair and I shaved off all her hair
And I left her in the desert all alone
Well sometimes in my dreams
I can still hear the screams
Oh I wonder if she ever made it home

I tell ya

Those were the good old days
Those were the good old days
The years go by but the memory stays
And those were the good old days

Let me tell ya buddy

Those were the good old days
Those were the good old days
The years go by but the memory stays
And those were the good old days

"Gotta Boogie"


Gotta boogie
Gotta boogie
Gotta boogie
Gotta boogie
Gotta boogie (gotta boogie)
Gotta boogie (gotta boogie)
Gotta boogie (gotta boogie)
Gotta boogie on my finger and I can't shake it off

Well, I went out to a party just the other night
I was jammin' to the music, I was feelin' alright
I was burning up the floor like a disco maniac
When my woman said, "Baby, why's your hand behind you back?"

Gotta boogie (gotta boogie)
I said boogie (gotta boogie)
I gotta boogie (gotta boogie)
Gotta boogie on my finger and I can't shake it off

I can't pick it off (uh uh)
I can't flick it off (uh uh)
I sure ain't gonna lick it off (oh no)
So I guess I'm gonna have to learn to live with it

I gotta boogie (gotta boogie, uh huh, he's gotta boogie)
I gotta boogie (gotta boogie, uh huh, he's gotta boogie)
I gotta boogie (gotta boogie, uh huh, he's gotta boogie)
Gotta boogie on my finger and I can't shake it off

(boogie)
Gotta boogie
(boogie)

Hey, you wanna boogie? (No man, I don't wanna boogie)
Wanna boogie? (Get that boogie out of my face)
Do any of you wanna boogie? (No!)

Gotta boogie on my finger
Gotta boogie on my finger
Gotta boogie on my finger and I can't shake it off

"Gravy On You"


Well, I think you're obnoxious
And I think that you stink
I think you're a moron
A slob, and a fink
You're one of the biggest turkeys I know
And that is the reason I'm going to

Throw gravy on you
And throw gravy on you
And throw gravy, gravy on you-ou-ou-ou-ou

"Green Eggs And Ham"


I do not like Green Eggs and Ham
I do not like them
Sam, I am

I do not like them here or there
I do not like them anywhere
I do not like them in a boat
I would not, could not, with a goat

I will not eat them in the rain
I do not like them on a train
I do not like them in a box
I will not eat them with a fox

I do not like them in a house
I would not, could not, with a mouse
I do not like Green Eggs and Ham
I do not like them
Sam, I am

Green Eggs and Ham
Green Eggs and Ham
Don't like Green Eggs and Ham

"Gump"


Gump sat alone on a bench in the park
"My name is Forrest," he'd casually remark
Waitin' for the bus with his hands in his pockets
He just kept sayin' life is like a box of chocolates

He's Gump, He's Gump
What's in his head?
He's Gump, He's Gump, He's Gump
Is he in-bred?

Gump was a big celebrity
He told JFK that he really had to pee
He never feels too dumb because
His mom always told him stupid is as stupid does

He's Gump, He's Gump
He's kinda square
He's Gump, He's Gump, He's Gump
What's with that hair?

Run... run... run, run, now Forrest
Run... run... run like the wind now
Run... run... run, run, now Forrest
Run... stop!

His buddy Bubba was a shrimp-lovin' man
His friend with no legs he called Lieutenant Dan
His girlfriend Jenny was kind of a slut
He went to the White House, showed LBJ his butt

He's Gump, He's Gump
He's not too bright
He's Gump, He's Gump, He's Gump
But he's alright

Is this Gump out of his head?
I think so
Is this Gump really brain dead?
I think so
Did this Gump make lots of bread?
I think so
And that's all I have to say about that

"Happy Birthday"


Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you

Well, it's time to celebrate your birthday, it happens every year
We'll eat a lot of broccoli and drink a lot of beer
You should be good and happy that there's something you can eat
A million people every day are starving in the street

Your daddy's in the gutter with the wretched and the poor
Your mama's in the kitchen with a can of Cycle Four
There's garbage in the water
There's poison in the sky
I guess it won't be long before we're all gonna die

Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you

Well, what's the matter little friend, you think this party is the pits
Enjoy it while you can, we'll soon be blown to bits
The monkeys in the pentagon are gonna cook our goose
Their finger's on the button, all they need it an excuse

It doesn't take a military genius to see
We'll all be crispy critters after World War III
There's nowhere you can run to, nowhere you can hide
When they drop the big one, we all get fried

(Come on boys and girls, sing along, ok?)

Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
wow! (background screaming, sound effect)

Well there's a punk in the alley and he's looking for a fight
There's an Arab on the corner buying everything in sight
There's a mother in the ghetto with another mouth to feed
Seems that everywhere you look today there's misery and greed

I guess you know the Earth is gonna crash into the sun
But that's no reason why we shouldn't have a little fun
So if you think it's scary, if it's more than you can take
Just blow out the candles and have a piece of cake

Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
wow!

Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you

(Happy Birthday!)

And a pinch to grow an inch!

"Hardware Store"


[sound effects from tools]

Nothin' ever (ever) happens in this town
Feelin' low down (down), not a lot to do around here
I thought that I would go right out of my mind
Until a friend told me the news

He said, "Hey, you know that vacant lot
Right beside the gas station? Well, somebody bought it
And on that spot they're gonna build a shop
Where we can go buy bolts and screws"

Since then I've been walking on air (air)
I can barely brush my teeth or comb my hair
'Cause I'm so excited and I really don't care
I've been waiting since last June

For this day to finally arrive
I'm so happy (happy) now just to be alive
'Cause any minute now I'm gonna be inside
Well, I hope they open soon

I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
When are they gonna open up that door?
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store

In my sleeping bag I camped out overnight
Right in front of the store, then as soon as it was light out
I pressed my nose right up against the glass
You know, I had to be first in line

Gonna get me a flashlight and a broom
Want a pair of pliers for every single room of my house
See those hacksaws? Very, very soon
One of them will be all mine

Guys with nametags walking down the aisles
Rows of garden hoses that go on for miles and miles
Brand new socket wrenches in a plethora of styles
All arranged alphabetically

And they're doing a promotional stunt
There's a great big purple sign out front
That says every 27th customer
Will get a ball peen hammer free

I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
When are they gonna open up that door?
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store

I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store

Would you look at all that stuff ...
They've got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters
Trash compactors, juice extractor, shower rods and water meters
Walkie-talkies, copper wires safety goggles, radial tires
BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers
Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters
Paint removers, window louvres, masking tape and plastic gutters
Kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables
Hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles
Pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication
Metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation
Air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors
Tire guages, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors
Trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers
Tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers
Soffit panels, circuit breakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers
Calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers

I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
When are they gonna open up that door?
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store

I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store

I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store

"Harvey The Wonder Hamster"


Oh, Harvey, Harvey
Harvey the Wonder Hamster
He doesn't bite and he doesn't squeal
He just runs around on his hamster wheel
Harvey, Harvey
Harvey the Wonder Hamster
Hey, Harvey!