"The Divide"

What's it gonna be Kyle?
You have to decide.
Tits or destiny?

Tits.

Whooooahahaha! Ahhh!!!

WHYYYY GO!!

"Papagenu (He's My Sassafrass)"

[Sasquatch] Arrgggghhhh!
[JB] Arrrggghhhh!
[Sasquatch] That's good, lets go an adventure,
[JB] Yeah, la la la
[Sasquatch] I've got lots to show you, la la la
[JB] Can i be a sasquatch too? la la la
[Sasquatch] You already are la la la you're my son JB, my wittle baby sass, la la la la la la la la la la la la
[JB] Ahhh.
[Sasquatch] Lets take a dip in the strawberry river, (la la la)
[JB] Yay!
[Sasquatch] C'mon! (C'mon baby lets go!)

Here we go, here we go, here we go,
Ooh la la la, oo papagenu, he's my papasass!
Ooh la la la, oo papagenu, he's my sassafrass!
Here we go, here we go, here we go,
Ooh la la la, oo papagenu, he's my papasass!
Ooh la la la, oo papagenu, he's my sassafrass!

[JB] Wheeeee!
[Sasquatch] We're flying!
[JB] We're flying!
[Sasquatch] Hold on boy!

[JB] Down where the sasquatch hide,
In the misty mountainside,
He's got shiny diamonds that he's got to protect,
Look into the sasquatch eye,
Did you know that sass could fly?
Sasquatch is my daddy and he's going to protect, me!
Half man, half machine,
On the cover of a magazine,
Bigfoot is my father and he's got to protect, me!
These lyrics don't make sense,
Think i've found the evidence,
That yeti is my papa and he wants to protect, me!

"Dude (I Totally Miss You)"


Dude, i totally miss you
I really fucking miss you
I'm all alone,
All the time, all the time

Dude, i totally miss you
The things we did together
Where have you gone?

Totally miss the honesty
And special times, and honestly
I totally miss the fucked up thing ya do

Dude, i totally miss you
I totally miss you
Dude, i totally miss you
All the time

Ahhhhhhhhhh, aaaaaah
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, aaaaaah
aah ya-he haaa.

Totally miss the honesty
And special times, and honestly
I totally miss the fucked up thing ya do

Dude, i totally miss you
I totally miss you
Dude, i totally miss you
All the time

"Break In-City (Storm The Gate!)"

The mission is clear,
i'm going over there
I'm going to do the mission

I flip around the corner,
flat as a pancake
And then i- oh noo! A camera

Stay back here,
devise a plan
Dive into the bushes

Against all odds
Infiltrate,
storm the gates!
storm the gates!

Ninja style,
samuri (Storm the gates!)
Metal pole,
climb that shit (Storm the gates)
Climb into that mother-fucker
Now i'm climbin up,
up on the roof
I got cat-like reflexes

Against all odds
Infiltrate,
oh! storm the gates!

Two air-vents on the roof,
thats what the guy was talkin a- Shit!

Electric Eye
Infiltrate,
storm the gates!
storm the gates!
storm the gates!

"Car Chase City"


Car chase city,
That's the name,
Of my game.
It was all proven,
Now its totally lame!
KG really fucking,
Blew us some ass!
Now we're fucking,
Headed for a,
Total collapse!

Car chase city,
Roll away from a bus!
Thought that we wasn't,
But we totally was!

Car chase city,
Now we're off on the map!
Car chase city,
Now I'm takin' a crap!

Now it's getting hairy,
So we're changin' the key.
Never underestimate,
The power of E!

KG fuckin' put his foot on the gas!
If I go to prison, got the Pick in my ass!

Fuck this shit!
It's gone too far!

Kage pull over, let me out of the car!
Car chase city,
Now we're taking the lane!
KG blew it,
Now we're going insane!

Let's rock!
Let's roll!
Let them try to fill up the hole!
Let's rock!
Let's roll!
Car chase city patrol!

Car chase city!
Car chase city-ah!
Car chase city!

Let's rock!
Let's roll!
Car chase city patrol!
Let's rock!
Let's roll!
Just a fuckin' rigmarole!

Uh!

Piss!
Speed!
Tremble!
Oh!
Aagh!
Gas!
Brakes!
Spin it, go Kyle!
So spin it, go Kyle!
S'broke!
Flip it!
Gas!
Nitro!
Go!

Let's rock!
Let's roll!
Car chase city patrol!
Let's rock!
Let's roll!
Just a fuckin' rigmarole!

Let's rock!
Let's roll!
Car chase city patrol!
Let's rock!
Let's roll!
Rockin' was the ulti-mofo!
Uh!

Car chase city!
Car chase city!
Car chase city!
Car chase city!

[Host:] Hey guys, you're running a little late.
There's no spot left. You got any new material?
[JB] What we got's gonna turn your brain to shit.
[KG] Dust off the stage, Open Mic Host. Step aside.

"Beelzeboss (The Final Showdown)"

Beelzeboss

[Beelz] I am complete!

[Both] Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

[Beelz] yes you are fucked, shit out of luck
now I'm complete and my cock you will suck
This world will be mine and you're first in line
you brought me the pick and now you shall both die!

[JB] Wait! Wait! Wait!
you motherfucker
we challenge you to a rock off!
give us one chance to rock your socks off

[Beelz] Fuck, fuck, fuck
the demon code prevents me
from declining a rock off challenge
what are your terms? what is the catch?

[JB] If we win, you must take your sorry ass back to hell.
and also you will have to pay our rent

[Beelz] And what if *i* win?
[JB] then you can take Kage back to hell...
[KG] What?
[JB] trust me Kage, its the only way,
[KG] What the fuck are you talking about?
[JB] to be your little bitch.
[Beelz]
Fine! Let the rock off begin!hahahahaa
I'm the devil i love metal!
Check this riff it's fucking tasty
I'm the devil i can do what i want,
whatever i got I'm gonna flaunt,
there's never been a rock off that I've ever lost
i cant wait to take Kage back to hell
I'm gonna fill him with my hot demon gel
I'll make him squeal like my scarlet pimpernel

[JB] Noooooo!
c'mon Kage bring the thunder
[KG] there's just no way that we can win,
that was a masterpiece.
[JB] listen to me
[KG] he rocks too hard because he's not a mortal man
[JB] goddamn-it Kage,
he gonna make you his sex slave,
you're gonna gargle mayonnaise
unless we bust a massive monster mamma-jam.
[KG] dude, we've been through so much shit,
[JB] deactivated lasers with my dick
[BOTH] now its time to blow this fucker down!
[JB] C'mon Kage now it's time to blow doors down
[KG] I hear you Jables now it's time to blow doors down
[JB] Light up the stage cause its time for a showdown
[KG] We'll bend you over then we'll take you to brown town
[BOTH] Now we've got to blow this fucker down
[KG] He's gonna rape me if we do not blow doors down
[JB] C'mon Kage cause it's time to blow doors down
[KG] Oh we'll piledrive ya, it's time for the smackdown
[JB] Hey anti-christ-er, Beelzeboss,
we know your weakness our rocket-sauce
we rock the casbah, and blow your mind
we will defeat you, for all mankind
you hold the scepter,
we hold the key
you are the devil,
we are the D [18x]

[Beelz]
You guys are fuckin' lame. Come on Kage, You're coming with me.
Taste my lightning fuckers!

[Tenacious D:]
[JB] NO!

[Beelz]
ow! Fuck!
My fuckin' horn!
oh no!

[JB] From whence you came you shall remain,
until you are complete again

[Beelz]
No! Fuck you Kage and Fuck you Jables!
I'll get you Tenacious D!

"POD"


Cause it's the Pick of Destiny child,
you know we will be rockin' cause it's fuckin' insane.
It's just the Pick of Destiny child,
More precious than a diamond on a platinum chain.

In Venice Beach there was a man named Kage.
When he buskin he was all the rage.
He met Jables and he taught him well.
All the techniques that were developed in hell.
Cock-pushups and the power slide.
Gig simulation now there's nowhere to hide.
They formed a band they named Tenacious D.
and then they got the Pick Of Destiny.

Cause it's the Pick of Destiny child,
you know we will be rockin' cause it's fuckin' insane.
It's just the Pick of Destiny child,
our tasty moves are better than a chicken chow mein.

Cause he who is sleazy,
is easy to pleasy.
and she who is juicy,
must be loosy-goosey.
and he who is groovy,
will be in my movie, so come on!

The wizard and the demon had a battle royale,
The demon almost killed him with an evil kapow.
But then he broke his tooth,
and thus the demon said Ow.

Cause it's the Pick of Destiny child,
you know we will be rockin' cause it's fuckin' insane.
It's just the Pick of Destiny child,
you know our movie's better than a Citizen Kane

Cause he who's a geezer,
must live in my freezer.
and she who is snarky,
is full of malarkey.
and he who is groovy,
must be in my movie, so come on!

Cause if you're a diva,
then go to Geneva.
and if you're a croney,
then suck on my boney.
and if you are groovy,
then get in my movie,
It's called the Pick of Destiny.
It's called the Pick of Destiny!

"The Metal"

You can't kill the metal
The metal will live on
Punk-Rock tried to kill the metal
But they failed, as they were smite to the ground
New-wave tried to kill the metal
But they failed, as they were stricken down to the ground
Grunge tried to kill the metal Ha,hahahahaha
They failed, as they were thrown to the ground
Aargh! yeah! [x2]

[Singing]

No-one can destroy the metal
The metal will strike you down with a vicious blow
We are the vanquished foes of the metal
We tried to win for why we do not know

New-wave tried to destroy the metal, but the metal had its way
Grunge then tried to dethrone the metal, but metal was in the way
Punk-rock tried to destroy the metal, but metal was much too strong
Techno tried to defile the metal, but techno was proven wrong
Yea!

Metal!
It comes from hell!