THE NIGHT YOU CAN'T REMEMBER


Before you left your garrison
you'd had a drink, maybe two
You don't remember Paris, hon
but it remembers you
It's true, we flew to Paris, dear
aboard an Army jet
the night you can't remember
the night I can't forget
You said I was terrific, it
meant zilch to you, ah, but I
have our marriage certificate
'n I'll keep it till I die
You were an Army officer
and I just a Rockette
the night you can't remember
the night I can't forget
No rose conveyed your sentiments
not even a petunia
but you've got vague presentiments
and I've got little Junior
You said, Nobody loves me
and I said, wanna bet?
the night you can't remember
the night I can't forget

THE NUN'S LITANY

I want to be a playboy's bunny
I'd do whatever they asked me to
I'd meet people with lots of money
and they would love me
like I loved you

I want to be a topless waitress
I want my mother to shed one tear
I'd throw away this old sedate dress
slip into something a tad more sheer

I want to be an artists' model
An odalisque, au naturel
I should be good at spin-the-bottle
while I've still got something
left to sell

I want to be a cobra dancer
with Little Willy between my thighs
I may not find a cure for cancer
but I'll meet plenty of single guys

I want to be a brothel worker
I've always been treated like one
If I could be a back-street lurker
I'd make more money
and have more fun

I want to be a dominatrix
which isn't like me, but I can dream
learn S, and M,
and all those gay tricks
and men will pay me to
make them scream

I want to be a porno starlet
(for that I'll wait till Mama's dead)
I'll see my name in lights of scarlet
and get to spend every day in bed

I want to be a tattooed lady
dedicated, as I am, to art
Characters bold, complex and shady
will write my memoirs
across my heart.

THE ONE YOU REALLY LOVE

I do believe our love's in danger I might aas well be loving air
You look at me like I'm a stranger You look at me like I'm not there
I gaze into your eyes of blue but their beauty is not for mee You're
thinking on someone who's gone You're dreaming of the one you really love
I made you mine, or so it seemed Though he is dead he haunts your dreams
I might as well be two ft. tall You never will love me at all...
You're dreaming of the corpse you really love

THE SADDEST STORY EVER TOLD


We used to go out on the summer nights and dance in the
neon rain
We used to hold hands at the movie show but we'll never
hold hands again
Do do do do do come on come on
Do do do do do come on come on
(C): Those days are gone You and I were young those
summer nights
You'll see the world diving for a girl you'll never find
and then we'll quietly grow old: the saddest story ever
told.
Once upon a time we fell in love or at least that's what
you said
You say I can find someone else but I just wish I was
dead
Do do do do do come on come on
Do do do do do come on come on. (C)

THE SUN GOES DOWN AND THE WORLD GOES DANCING

So the sun goes down and the world goes dancing
And the stars come out and they all go dancing
And there is nothing I'd like more
Than a twirl across this rickety old floor

Well I don't know why but I just feel like dancing
I can't imagine why but I feel like dancing
And there is nothing in this world
That I'd like better than a twirl across your rickety old floor

Maybe it's you
You know your eyes are awful blue
Maybe it's more
Maybe you're all I ever waited for
After all the endless nights when I wished I could still cry

THE THINGS WE DID AND DIDN'T DO


All the things I knew I didn't know and didn't want to know
that you told me just to tell me later that you'd told me so
come flooding back to me now Come on Come flooding back to me now
All the things you said you'd never say and you said anyway
The things we did and didn't do The things we did and didn't do
come flooding back to me now

THE TROUBLE I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR

Crows in the trees spanish hotels by the sea
we wave goodbye airplanes draw swords in the sky

I'm so rich and you're so bored
Are you the trouble I've been looking for
You go out and you slam the door
Are you the trouble I've been looking for.

My eyes still burn whether you leave or return
The flowers bloom when you walk into the room

I'm so rich and you're so bored
Are you the trouble I've been looking for
You go out and you slam the door
Are you the trouble I've been looking for.

You stole it all and wrote my name on a wall
I've moved again I've changed my name again

I'm so rich and you're so bored
Are you the trouble I've been looking for
You go out and you slam the door
Are you the trouble I've been looking for.

THE VILLAGE IN THE MORNING


Outside the rain is coming down
Inside it's warm and dry
You'll never find a cab uptown
So why not stay the night?
Why don't you call in sick tomorrow
Let's sleep the day away
I've got pyjamas you can borrow
Let's take a holiday
(C): You can't leave the village in the the morning
When the radio writes poetry for Avenue Pi
You get tangled in the wheels of old queen river
And you can't find the breath to whisper
Goodbye
Whisper goodbye
Why don't you stay until the weekend
It should clear up by then
As your resolve begins to weaken
We'll become such good friends
And you could stay until the summer
And we can sleep through spring
And I can telephone my dummer
And have her get your things
(C)
Why don't you stay until we're old
And fall in love with life
Why don't you stay untl we're ghosts
We'll only seem to die
(C)

THE WAY YOU SAY GOOD-NIGHT


So faraway and so alone how could I ever take you home
You're beautiful, beautiful
You've got a devastating point of view
and everything you say is true
You're beautiful, beautiful

The nightbirds start to sing their favorite song:
"The Way you Say Good-Night"
The nightbirds start to sing their favorite song
and the moon begins to sing
I kiss you and the sun goes down
How come it's always dark when you're around
You're beautiful, beautiful

The nightbirds start to sing their favorite song
The moon begins to sing You're beautiful, beautiful
The stars begin their Busby Berkeley dance:
"The Way You Say Good-Night"
and the night becomes a musical extravaganza:
The Way You Say Good-Night

The way you say good-night
I dream of all day long
Oh, I could write a song about the way you say good-
night...

TILL THE BITTER END


Through sleet and snow,
and storm and hail
Through every degradation
and betrayal
Past rhyme, and reason,
and beyond the pale,
darling, I will love you
till the bitter end...
and all the bitter moments till then

Through time and tomb,
and Tim and Tom
Through pro and con,
and quid pro quo, and qualm
Through tidal wave
and asteroid and bomb
darling, I will love you

till the bitter end...
and all the bitter moments till then

And when your charms begin to fade
and when you feel old and afraid
I'll scratch beneath
your shoulder blade
and whisper:

My love is deeper than I show
Remember what I said:
Through sleet and snow...
So even though I know you have to go
darling I will love you
till the bitter end...
and all the bitter moments till then.