TAR-HEEL BOY

Tar-heel boy sings a song
Bout a girl who ain't comin' home
By n by, by n by
She worked too long in the mill
She's gone to those rolling hills in the sky
We're barely off Mama's milk
And we're locked in here weavin' silk
We can't buy, we can't buy
While you been off in Oregon
I been drinkin' here all alone
All night long, all day long
They shot a nine-year-old boy
For a hundred dollars

TECHNICAL (YOU'RE SO)

You have prosthetic wings
you drive a surveillance van
you're always doing seven things
you write the code for brain implants
there are no papers on you
the laws don't cover what you do
you and your think tank entourage
are all counterculture demigods

you're so technical, you go hacking around the world
you're so technical, baby, are you a boy or a girl?

you have some extra limbs
you look like a Swiss Army knife (with wings)
dance like a Hindu diety
best friends with Timothy Leary

you're a Libertarian
the death of the left was you
you look like Herbert Von Karajan
you live underneath the zoo.

THE BOOK OF LOVE

The book of love is long and boring No one can lift the damn thing
It's full of charts and facts and figures and instructions for dancing
but I I love it when you read to me and you you can read me anything
The book of love has music in it In fact that's where music comes from
Some of it is just transcendental Some of it is just really dumb but I
I love it when you sing to me and you you can sing me anything
The book of love is long and boring and written very long ago
It's full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes and things we're all
too young to know but I I love it when you give me things and you
you ought to give me wedding rings I I love it when you give me things
and you you ought to give me wedding rings

THE CACTUS WHERE YOUR HEART SHOULD BE

The cactus where your heart should be has lovely
little flowers so though it's always pricking me
my ardor never sours The cactus hwere your heart
once was has power to rend and flay I stick because
I'm stuck, because I just can't tear myself away

THE DADA POLKA

People of Earth when you dance,
Dance the Dada Polka,
Life is only a dream.

When in the mood for romance,
Dance the Dada Polka,
Be as cute as you seem.

Gyrate like a gyroscope.
Collide like a kaleidoscope.
Freeze.
Do something.
Anything.
Do something.
Please.

People of Earth don

THE DEATH OF FERDINAND DE SAUSSURE

I met Ferdinand de Saussure
On a night like this
On love he said
"I'm not so sure
I even know what it is
No understanding
No closure
It is a nemesis
You can't use a bulldozer
To study orchids"

He said...
So we don't know anything
You don't know anything
I don't know anything
about love
But we are nothing
You are nothing
I am nothing
Without love

I'm just a great composer
And not a violent man
But I lost my composure
And I shot Ferdinand
Crying "it's well and kosher
to say you don't understand
but this is for Holland-Dozier-Holland"

His last words were
We don't know anything [etc]

His fading words were
We don't know anything [etc]

THE DESPERATE THINGS YOU MADE ME DO

Time provides the rope
But love will tie the slipknot
And I will be the chair you kick away
You don't even like anything you like
Or the people you know
And all of your reasons to stay alive died
(C): I dedicate this song to you
For all the desperate things you made me do
I'd like to beat you black and blue
For all the agony you have put me through
Front seat stained with love
A back full of bibles
Purloined from the drawers of lost motels
They say when you're older you'll understand
You know it's a lie
'cause you've got a twisted and mangled heart
(C)
Down Route 66
You pilfered love and green stamps
W.C. Fields with Mae West in your eyes
They say every clock's a blunt instrument
Crushing the skull
But you've got a vice to rest your head in
(C)

THE DREAMING MOON

With an ivory pipe
And a cummerbund
In the dead of night
On the autobahn
With the long ago
On the radio
And the dreaming moon...
We were young and in love
In a burning town
But the fire went out
I'm alone again now
And I finally know
How cool to be cold
With the dreaming moon
I'll begin again
With another new name
And a whole new life
Full of fortune and fame
But in the 100th year
I'll be right back here
With the dreaming moon

THE FLOWERS SHE SENT AND THE FLOWERS SHE SAID SHE SENT

I saw you standing at the airport
with your chihuahua in your hands
crying on the moving sidewalk
on your way to Disney-land

chorus:
And the flowers she sent
and the flowers she said she sent
are all equally dead
you don't care anymore what she said
and the books she read
and the books she said she read
are all spread on the floor
you don't care what she read anymore

I saw you closing your antique shop
with a bug around your throath
and you trembled like an ostridge
in your ostridge-feathered coat

chorus

THE LUCKIEST GUY ON THE LOWER EAST SIDE

Andy would bicycle across town in the rain to bring you
candy and John would buy the gown for you to wear to the
prom with Tom the astronomer who'd name a star for you
(C): But I'm the luckiest guy on the Lower East Side
cause I've got wheels and you want to go for a ride
Harry is the one I think you'll marry but it's Chris
that you kissed after school I'm a fool, there's no doubt
but when the sun comes out and only when the sun
comes out... (C) The day is beautiful and so are you
My car is ugly but then I'm ugly too I know you'd
never give me a second glance but when the weather's
nice all the other guys don't stand a chance
I know Professor Blumen makes you feel like a woman
but when the wind is in your hair you laugh like a little girl
So you share secrets with Lou but we've got secrets too
Well, one: I only keep this heap for you
cause I'm the ugliest guy on the Lower East Side
but I've got wheels and you want to go for a ride
Want to go for a ride?