ABSENCE

Stare into the face of my brother
His features have faded into dust
He lies here now, waiting for the darkness
Carrying the hopes and dreams we shared

He stood among the ravaged so courageous
His figure stoic and so brave
Cut down in shrouds of subtle irony
For years I prayed that it had taken me

In the absence of a god
In the absence of belief
I will never let this go
I will never let this sleep
In the absence of a god
In the absence of belief
I will never let this go
I will never let this sleep

For reasons I have long since forgotten
I could never bear the thought of an end
Years have passed and still I wonder
If I had been the one, where would he be?

Through suffering and pain I've come to realize
Knowing all that I have survived
Only loses and complete destruction
Can release the demons that grow inside

In the absence of a god
In the absence of belief
I will never let this go
I will never let this sleep
In the absence of a god
In the absence of belief
I will never let this go
I have fallen in too deep.

APATHY

Break my will
Release the chains that hold me
Bind me to by my fears
Blind the eyes that see me

I've never asked for much
And yet you still you deny
I live with my regrets
The things I left behind
But yet I stand and face you
I see you face to face
Uncaring eyes regard me
And I see your sweet distaste

Watch me fall
Stare as my figure falls apart
See all the things I've worked for
Be ripped and torn apart

Leave me be
Turn your back and walk away
I shame myself
For all the things I let you do to me

BLIND

Try as I do I don't see you
Standing right next to me
My eyes burn with tears and I fear
That I'm losing myself again

Where did you go
Where are you coming from
Why can't I see you
Standing right next to me
The pressure inside I can't take
And I find that I cannot breathe
and I can't breathe

For years I have seeked you
Looking with weary eyes so tired
So very tired
For years I have found nothing but
Emptiness and loneliness inside me
Deep inside me

Sometimes I see your reflection
But I'm not quick enough
Sometimes I feel your hand touching mine
As I sleep at night
As I sleep at night

The longing I feel is too strenuous
Please help me find you
Standing right next to me
I know that you're there, but you're not
there
And I can't take it anymore
I can't take it anymore

I've done all that I can and I'll keep going
All that I can for you
All I can for you
Someday I'll know what it means to be alive
And I'll find you, standing right next to me

Where did you go
Where are you coming from
Why can't I see you
Standing right next to me
The pressure inside I can't take
ANd I find that I cannot breathe
and I can't breathe

DISSONANCE

Life will move in patterns
Circling for all time
Repeating all accomplishments
Repeating all the failures
Life will end in patterns

Laid out for all to see
Eyes are closed and cannot witness
What was never meant to be
Reap what you have sewn
Sew what you will reap
Continue on this cycle
And die in disbelief

Take what you have wanted
Take what you don't need
Live a life of crapulence
And die in bitter greed

Parasitic culture
Dissonance in waves
No one hears the outcome
Forgetting all we gave

Parasitic culture
Dissonance in waves
Sacrifice the faceless
And justify the slaves

The world is too much with us
The world is not enough
To satisfy your hunger
The monster you've become

Running from persecution
Running for your crimes
The anger and the hatred
Will eat you from inside

Inconsequential actions
Inconsequential fears
Drive terror through the masses
They scream and no one hears

Uncaring for the outcome
Uncaring for your soul
Take a look in the mirror
And release what you've sold

FROZEN

Yesterday is gone
Tomorrow seems too empty
Time keeps passing by
Passing me too quickly
Afraid of what I feel
Afraid of moving forward
I turn towards the sky
And watch it tumble downwards

All my life to live
The reasons all escape me
Nothing can suffice
All I know is misery
Afraid of what I feel
Afraid of moving forward
Lies surrounding lies
Life without a purpose

So close to giving up
Can't help but wonder why
On the verge of letting go
I'm so empty deep inside
And I am all alone
No one hears me screaming
So far away from home
And I am frozen through

I feel I'm shutting down
Outlook growing cold
My senses burning out
And finally I go numb
Afraid of what I feel
Afraid of moving forward
The heartache and the pain
Will bleed me dry again

So close to giving up
Can't help but wonder why
On the verge of letting go
I'm so empty deep inside
And I am all alone
No one hears me screaming
So far away from home
And I am frozen through

GONE

Erase your existence
It couldn't matter less
Take a breath of life
And sink into the darkness
Forget your intelligence
It wouldn't save a thing
In a land of invalids
With an apathetic king

Forgotten sprawl of wasteland
A fragile home for some
Backwards falling structures
An omen of what's to come
Memory must fail me
Shuffle off this skin
Remove all traces of humanness
And expose what lies within

Let it fall to ruin
Let heaven fall apart
Through away the emptiness
And watch them all depart
Let it fall to ruin
Let the plagues carry on
Throw away your own self worth
'Cause everything is gone

Give in to the pestilence
Avoid the rising sun
Return to ash from whence you came
There's no where left to run
You see the world through lenses
That block out all reality
Someday you may lose them
Just another casualty

HAUNTED

I wear this crown of pain
For all the world to see
Like a twisted badge of honor
For all the world to see
And like a gentle whisper
My voice will carry on
The silence drives you to madness
As it will when I am gone

Look upon my picture
Can you see me there?
A subtle hint of innocence
Although my heart will tear
Thought I am not present
Though I have moved on
I'll be here to remind you
Of exactly what you've done

I can't forgive you
No matter what you do
Though I may be empty
Though my time is through
I won't release you
From yourself until
Your fate has been completed
Your destiny fulfilled

Do you feel regret?
Have you any guilt?
Your conscience must still haunt you
In the life that you have built
I am not so bitter
As to wish you pain
Fate can be much crueler
Than I could hope to explain

LOCKED AWAY

There's a wall that stands between us
Something niether one of us can see
Protection from the world outside
And most of all from me.
Years of torture and deceit
Have made your fortress strong
Maybe all are out to harm you
Just as you are never wrong.

You doubted my intentions
Left me graplling with fear
My words were not sincere enough
For your hardened heart to hear.
Thousand miles may lay between us
May as well be down the hall
You close out all around you
So no one's near at all.

Set me free
I've no faith in anything I see
Look at what you've down with your dishonesty
Leave me be
I don't need your callous sympathy
For I'm not as weak as I appear to be.

Maybe things were different
Though nothing's changed at all
Now my stregth is failing
Can't catch you when you fall
You have no need of me
And set out on your own
When the world comes down around you
You'll find yourself alone.

Years will come in silence
Only memories will remain
Peace will not come easy
A token of distain
So let your hope be silent
Though there's nothing there at all
Sleep will not come easy
As the rain begins to fall.

MARTYR

I've stood here waiting for so long
Waiting for an answer
That will never come
That will never come

Years roll by and nothing changes
I feel so close and yet so far away
So Very far away
Years roll by and nothing changes
I feel so close and yet so far away
So Very far away

Judge me not for what it seen
I'll let goes unspoken carry me
I'll let it carry me

Should I stand here and wait to see
If the soldier inside makes a martyr out of me
Makes a martyr out of me.

MOURN

Just one more cigarette
And then I'll move on
Just one last chance to talk
And then I'll be gone
So much left to do
There's so much left to say
Each time I close my eyes
I don't want to look away
Each time I say goodbye
It's all I'm forced to say
There's so much left for you
There's so little left of me
These broken little words
Are all I've left to give
These fragile little thoughts
I beg you to forgive
I'm running out of time
I'm running out of time
Just one last cigarette
I promise this is it
I've nothing left to say
I'll live with this regret
You fade away from me
I fade away from you
The time has finally come
So now I must move on
Will you ever think of me
When I am gone
Just don't mourn for me
The way I mourn for you