"The Worst Joke Ever"


You see there's this cat burglar who can't see in the dark.
He lays his bets on 8 more lives, walks into a bar.
Slips on the 8 ball, falls on his knife.
Says, "I don't know what I've done, but it doesn't feel right!"

Some things don't hold up over the course of a lifetime,
When's the first time you heard that one, 1954?
Get to the punch line. fall to the floor.

Give me a minute and I'll tell you the setup for
The worst joke ever, I never
I'll tell you my version of the greatest life story
Don't bore me

Now I am floating,
I feel released.
The moorings have been dropped,
The weights unleashed.
Everything is crystalline, simple and free.

The crime of good men who can't wrestle with change,
Or are too afraid to face this life's misjudged unknowns
You're not hurting anybody else's chances,
But you're disfiguring your own.

Give me a minute and I'll tell you the setup for
The worst joke ever, I never
I'll tell you my version of the greatest life story
Don't bore me, I NEVER
Give me a minute and I'll tell you the setup

You see there's this feeling that I've heard this one before

"The Ascent Of Man"


So hesitation pulled me back
I'm stronger when I don't attract
In your eyes I'm a lamb without a rack
And I am getting confused
I'm a cactus trying to be a canoe
As you pan for ore
In the desert, floored
I say to you

That I could never imagine a place so beautiful
I could never steal your gold away.

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah...

(I try to walk like a big wham bam
I came across like a battering ram
I try to float like a telegram sam
I'm trying to divine you.)

My book is called "The Ascent Of Man"
I marked your chapter with a catamaran
The accent's off
But I am what I am

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah...

(I try to walk like a big wham bam
I came across like a battering ram
I try to float like a telegram sam
I'm trying to divine you.)

I looked for you, it's my last grandstand
A motorscootered goat legged pan
Figure eighting in quicksand ...

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah...

(I try to walk like a big wham bam
I try to float like a telegram sam
I came across like a battering ram
I'm trying to divine you.)

(I try to walk like a big wham bam
I try to float like a telegram sam
I came across like a battering ram
I'm trying to divine you.)

So hesitation pulled me back
I'm so in love I don't attract
And with my hands tied I won't crack
('Cause in my mind I called you back.)

"Around The Sun"


I want the sun to shine on me
I want the truth to set me free
I wish the followers would lead
with a voice so strong it could knock me to my knees

Hold on world 'cause you don't know what's coming
Hold on world 'cause I'm not jumping off
Hold onto this boy a little longer
Take another trip around the sun

If I jumped into the ocean to believe
If I climbed a mountain would I have to reach?
Do I even dare to speak?--to dream?--believe?
Give me a voice so strong
I can question what I have seen

Hold on world 'cause you don't know what's coming
Hold on world 'cause I'm not jumping off
Hold onto this boy a little longer
Take another trip around the sun

Around the sun
Around the sun
Around the sun
Let my dreams set me free.
Believe. believe.
Now now now now now now

Accelerate
R.E.M. - Supernatural Superserious

Everybody here,
Comes from somewhere,
That they would just as soon forget,
And disguise.
At the summer camp where you volunteered,
No one saw your face, no one saw your fear.
If that apparition just appeared,
Took you up and away from this place and shared

Humiliation,
Of your teenage station.
Nobody cares,
No one remembers and nobody cares.
And you cried and you cried,
He's alive, he's alive.
And you cried and you cried and you cried and you cried.

If you call out safe then I'll stop right away,
If the premise buckles and the room starts to shake,
The details swap,
And the story's the same.
You don't have to explain.
You don't have to explain

Humiliation,
Of your teenage station.
Yeah you cried and you cried,
He's alive, he's alive.
And you cried and you cried and you cried,
And you realize your fantasies are
Dressed up in travesties.
Enjoy yourself with no regrets.

Everybody here,
Comes from somewhere,
That they would just as soon forget,
And disguise.
And you cried and you cried,
He's alive, he's alive.
Yeah you cried and you cried and you cried and you cried.
Oh, you cried and you cried.
Oh, you cried and you cried.

Now there's nothing dark and there's nothing weird,
Don't be afraid, I will hold you near,
From the séance where you first betrayed
An open heart on a darkened stage.
A celebration,
Of your teenage station.

It's an experience;
Sweet, delirious,
Supernatural, sperserious.
An experience,
Sweet, delirious,
Supernatural, superserious.

Accelerate
R.E.M. - Hollow Man

I've been lost
Inside my head
Echoes fall on me
I took
The priceless night
For complicated mess
Persuading things
I didn't mean
And don't believe

Believe in me
Believe in nothing
Corner me
And make me something
I've become
The hollow man, I
I've become
The hollow man I see

Oh, I see this echoing
You have placed
Your trust in me
I went upside down
I emptied up the room
Thirty seconds left
I can't believe
You held your ground

Believe in me
Believe in nothing
Corner me
And make me something
I've become
The hollow man, I
I've become
The hollow man I see

I'm overwhelmed
I'm on repeat
I'm emptied out
I'm incomplete
You trusted me
I want to show you
I don't want to be
The hollow man

Believe in me
Believe in nothing
Corner me
And make me something
I've become
The hollow man, I
I've become
The hollow man I see
I see

Accelerate
R.E.M. - Man-Sized Wreath

Turning on the TV and what do I see?
A pageantry of empty gestures all lined up for me - wow!
I'd have thought by now we would be ready to proceed
But a tearful hymn to tug the heart
And a man-sized wreath - ow!

Throw it on the fire
Throw it in the air
Kick it out on the dance-floor like you just don't care, oh
Give me the sound

Wave the palms, steal the alms, fists in the air
A motorcade up benign shows the people that you care - ow!
Nature abhors a vacuum but what's between your ears?
Your judgement clouded with fearful thoughts
A headlights and a deer - ow!

Throw it on the fire
Throw it in the air
Kick it out on the dance-floor like you just don't care
Look at what I've found
Everybody look around
Everybody looking like they just don't care, oh
Give me the sound

Well I'm not deceived by pomp and odious conceit
But a tearful hymn to tug the heart
And a man-sized wreath-ow!

Throw it on the fire
Throw it in the air
Kick it out on the dance-floor like you just don't care
Look at what I've found
Everybody look around
Everybody looking like they just don't care

Throw it on the fire
Throw it in the air
Kick it out on the dance-floor like you just don't care, oh
Give me the sound
Give me the sound
Give me the sound

Accelerate
R.E.M. - Living well is the best revenge

It's only when your poison spins
Into the life you'd hope to live
And suddenly you wake up in a shaking panic
Now
You set me up like a lamb to slaughter
Garbo as a farmer's daughter
Unbelievable, the gospel according to... who?
I lay right down.

All your sad and lost apostles
hum my name and flare their nostrils
Choking on the bones you tossed to them
Now I'm not one to sit and spin
Because living well is the best revenge
And baby, I am calling you on that

Don't turn your talking points on me,
History will set me free
The future's ours and you don't even rate a footnote.
Now
So who's chasing you?
Where did you go? You disapear
Midsentence in a judgment crisis
I see my in and go for it.
You weakened shill.

All your sad and lost apostles
Hum my name and flare their nostrils
Choking on the bones you tossed to them
Now I'm not one to sit and spin
Because living well is the best revenge
And baby, I am calling you on that

You savor your dying breath
I forgive but I don't forget
You work it out
Let's hear that argument again
Camera three. Go. now.

All your sad and lost apostles
hum my name and flare their nostrils
Choking on the bones you tossed to them
Now I'm not one to sit and spin
Because living well is the best revenge
And baby, I am calling you on that
Baby, I am calling you on that
Baby, I am calling you on that

Accelerate
R.E.M. - Houston

If the storm doesn't kill me the government will
I've got to get that out of my head
It's a new day today and the coffee is strong
I've finally got some rest

So a man's put to task and challenges
I was taught to hold my head high
Collect what is mine,
Make the best of what today has

Houston is filled with promise
Laredo is a beautiful place
Galveston sings like that song that I loved
Its meaning has not been erased

And so there are claims forgiven
And so there are things that are gone

Houston is filled with promise
Laredo is a beautiful place
Galveston sings like that song that I loved
Its meaning has not been erased

And some things, they fall to the wayside
Their memory is yet to be still
Belief has not filled me
And so I am put to the test

Accelerate
R.E.M. - Accelerate

Sinking fast, the weight chained to my feet
No time to argue with belief
I'm not alone, a thousand others dropping
Faster than me
What put me here?
Nothing to hold on to
Nowhere to brake

Where is the ripcord, the trapdoor, the key?
Where is the cartoon escape-hatch for me?
No time to question the choices I make
I've got to follow another direction (although fall down is much cooler)

The last thing I remember was climbing up the stairs
I threw the window open in challenge and despair
I don't know what I needed
I needed time
I needed to escape
I saw the future turn
Upside-down and hesitate.

Where is the ripcord, the trapdoor, the key?
Where is the cartoon escape-hatch for me?
No time to question the choices I make
I've got to follow another direction
Accelerate.

The vista I see now is changing
Uncertainty is suffocating
Our hope has never felt so great and
Lit up down
A pounding pulse
To make it go
Make it slow down,
Go.

Where is the ripcord, the trapdoor, the key?
Where is the cartoon escape-hatch for me?
No time to question the choices I make
I've got to follow another direction.

The city's burning, it's like it's ready to explode
Accelerate to make it slow
Make it go
Accelerate to make it slow
Make it go
I'm incomplete
I'm incomplete
I'm incomplete.

Accelerate
R.E.M. - Until The Day Is Done

The battle's been lost, the war is not won
An addled republic, a bitter refund
The business first flat earthers licking their wounds
The verdict is dire, the country's in ruins

Providence blinked, facing the sun
Where are we left to carry on
Until the day is done
Until the day is done

As we've written our stories to entertain
These notions of glory and bull market gain
The teleprompt flutters, the power surge brings
An easy speed message falls into routine

Providence blinked, facing the sun
Where are we left to carry on
Until the day is done
Until the day is done

A voice whispers "Son,
The blessed vision comes."
What have I done
What have I done

So hold tight your babies and your guns
Forgive us our trespasses, father and son

Providence blinked, facing the sun
Where are we left to carry on
Until the day is done
Until the day is done
Until the day is done
Until the day is done
Until the day is done
Until the day is done