Posle svakog leta piloti avio-prevoznika Quantas ostave belešku mehaničarima sa opisom problema, a pred sledeći let mehaničari ostave odgovor šta su uradili. Inače, Quantas je jedina svetska avio-kompanija kojoj nikad nije pao avion.

Zahtev: Leva guma skoro treba da bude zamenjena.
Izveštaj: Leva guma skoro zamenjena.
Z: Nešto se otkačilo u kabini.
I: Nešto smo zakačili u kabini.
Z: Autopilot sam gubi visinu za po 200 stopa po minuti.
I: Nismo uspeli da ponovimo problem na zemlji.
Z: Tragovi curenja na levom stajnom trapu.
I: Tragovi obrisani.
Z: Zvuk iz DME instrumenta glasan da ne poveruješ.
I: Zvuk iz DME instrumenta podešen na nivo u koji možeš poverovati.
Z: IFF instrument neoperativan.
I: IFF instrument je uvek neoperativan kad je isključen.
Z: Sumnjamo na pukotinu u vetrobranskom staklu.
I: Sumnjamo da ste upravu.
Z: Nema motora broj 3.
I: Vizuelnim pregledom letelice pronađen motor na levom krilu.
Z: Avion smešno reaguje na komande.
I: Avion upozoren da se uozbilji.
Z: Čudan zvuk iz instrument-table, kao da neki patuljak udara čekićem.
I: Patuljku oduzet čekić.

 

       

 

 

Odlican! 

 

A evo i ful engleska verzija...

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.


Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humour.


Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.



> > (P = The problem logged by the pilot.)

> > (S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)

> >

> > P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.

> > S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

> >

> > P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

> > S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

> >

> > P: Something loose in cockpit.

> > S: Something tightened in cockpit.

> >

> > P: Dead bugs on windshield.

> > S: Live bugs on back-order.

> >

> > P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

> > S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

> >

> > P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

> > S: Evidence removed.

> >

> > P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

> > S: DME volume set to more believable level.

> >

> > P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

> > S: That's what they're there for.

> >

> > P: IFF inoperative.

> > S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

> >

> > P: Suspected crack in windshield.

> > S: Suspect you're right.

> >

> > P: Number 3 engine missing.

> > S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

> >

> > P: Aircraft handles funny.

> > S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

> > P: Target radar hums.

> > S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

> >

> > P: Mouse in cockpit.

> > S: Cat installed.

> >

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

> > S: Took hammer away from midget.