"Power Failure"

   
Climbing out of open windows
Crashing down from broken stairs
Keeping watch on smoking cinders
Falling over burning chairs
Tossed and crossed and screwed in transit
Broken , splintered, bruised and thrown
Badly shattered, gale force frighty
Rrushed across and shown alone
Speech reduced by poor relations
Strung from weeks of self abuse
Chopped up, churned out weeks of greazy
Spark plugs burned up, power's fused

"Song For A Dreamer"

   
I will meet you on the other side of the moon
The doctors say they must operate soon
But there's no knowing what they'll find when they open up the wound
I will meet you on the other side of the moon
I will meet you at the bottom of the sea
We will lie inside the ocean and scheme
Our friend the arab will guide us while we dream
I will meet you at the bottom of the sea

"Playmate Of The Mouth"

   
Skeptic at the feast in ashes
Huntsmen at the voyeurs' ball
Funeral parlour guests invited
Mourning poorly worn by all
Old and mouldy words of passion
Savage rose destroyed them all
Wrote her fate in neon captions
Slender sender made me crawl
Playmate of the mouth expected
Passionata bless the small
Baby sandwich soaped for comfort
Slippery sliding ten feet tall

"Poor Mohammed"

   
Poor mohammed at the peep show
Kick the beggar down the stairs
Can't keep guard, he's old and feeble
Steal his books, burn his prayers
Poor mohammed at the keyhole
Sit him by the kitchen door
Slop his food all around the table
Let him lick it off the floor
Put mohammed in the cellar
Keep him there 'til half past ten
Ties some bacon to his beard
Let the rats out on him there

"Grand Hotel"

   
Tonight we sleep on silken sheets
We drink fine wine and eat rare meats
On Carousel and gambling stake
Our fortunes speed, and dissipate.
It's candlelight and chandelier,
It's silver plate and crystal clear.
The nights we stay at Hotel Grand

Tonight we dine at Hotel Ritz.
(A golden dish with every wish ).
It's mirrored walls, and velvet drapes,
Dry champagne, and bursting grapes.
Dover sole, and Oeufs Mornay,
Profiteroles and Peach Flambe,
The waiters dance on fingertips
The nights we dine at Hotel Ritz
One more toast to greet the morn
The wine and dine have danced till dawn
Where's my Continental Bride?
We'll Continental slip and slide
Early morning pinch and bite -
(These French girls always like to fight)
It's serenade and Sarabande,
The nights we stay at Hotel Grand
Les nuits qu'on passe a l'Hotel Grande.

"Toujours L'Amour"

   
She took all the pleasure and none of the pain
All of the credit and none of the blame
I came home to an empty flat
She'd left me a note and taken the cat
The cord that they knotted to keep us apart
Could never be broken: it was tied to my heart
She grew thin and I grew fat
She left me and that was that
I'm thinking of renting a villa in France
A French girl has offered to give me a chance
Or maybe I'll take an excursion to Spain
And buy a revolver and blow out my brains

"A Rum Tale"

   
She's fuddled my fancy, she's muddled me good
I've taken to drinking, and given up food
I'm buying an island, somewhere in the sun
I'll hide from the natives, live only on rum
I'm selling my memoirs, I'm writing it down
If no one will pay me I'll burn down the town
I'll rent out an aircraft and print on the sky
If God likes my story then maybe he'll buy
I'm buying a ticket for places unknown
It's only a one-way: I'm not coming home
She's swallowed my secret, and taken my name
To follow my footsteps and knobble me lame

"T.V. Ceasar"

   
T.V. Ceasar Mighty Mouse
Holds his court in every house
Spied in every crack and corner
Watch you eat your TV dinner
Creeping in through eyes and ears
Finding out your secret fears
T.V. Ceasar Mighty Mouse
Shares the bed in every house
T.V. Ceasar Mighty Mouse
Gets the news in every house
Who's been doing what with who
How they do it when they do
Every saint and every sinner
Every fact and every figure
T.V. Ceasar Mighty Mouse
Fights the flab in every house
T.V. Ceasar Mighty Mouse
Shares the bed in every house
T.V. Ceasar Mighty Mouse
Tops the pops in every house
Sandwiched in between the ads
Something for the mums and dads
Great to have you on the show
Sorry that you've go to go
T.V. Ceasar Mighty Mouse
Gets the vote in every house
T.V. Ceasar Mighty Mouse
Shares the bed in every house
T.V. Ceasar Mighty Mouse
Fights the flab in every house
T.V. Ceasar Mighty Mouse
Gets the vote in every house

"A Souvenir Of London"

   
Bought a souvenir in London
Got to hide it from my mom
Can't declare it at the Customs
But I'll have to take it home
Tried to keep it confidential
But the news is leaking out
Got a souvenir in London
There's a lot of it about
Yes, I found a bit of London
I'd like to lose it quick
Got to show it to my doctor
'Cause it isn't going to shrink
Want to keep it confidential
But the truth is leaking out
Got a souvenir in London
There's a lot of it about

"Bringing Home The Bacon"

   
Bringing home the bacon,
tender juicy steaks
Breast-fed baby dumpling
gobbling up the cakes
Milk-fed baby dumpling,
slobbering, goo-faced, mean
Wet-nursed sour purse spot face,
blubbering in the cream
Emperor baby dumpling,
loaded, bloated curse
Mighty baby dumpling,
stuffing 'til he bursts