Ashes Everywhere

I'll be silent in my solitude
Can't find my smile or my gratitude
I'm afraid of what I might do
'Cause there's no me
If there's no me and you
I wish that i could open up your eyes
To feel the sun that burned in your mind

I can't deal with what you have done
Reincarnate i wonder who i might become
With the potential of a loaded gun
I could be as fresh as hard bubble gum
I don't have nothing, now I want me some
First some of you, then some of everyone

Oh darling since you've been away from me
I know how the pins feel in the bowling alley
They say love is something you feel but never see
When I see you I firmly disagree
I'm just trying to be all that I can be
Without destroying you
Or joining the army

Your ashes must be blowing everywhere
'Cause i could still feel you and you're nowhere near
And though you didn't say so i can tell that you still care
We could've had it all but then nothing is fair
I still think about washing your hair
I wish i could've washed away all of your despair

Chemical

Taking my medicine
Changing the way i am
I don't know where i been
But i was well behaved

I don't know who you are
Coming out of my scar
Driving my crashing car
That needs a coat of paint

Chemical
Up and up away i go
Out of my head

I'm putting myself in jail
I'm hoping to see you fail
I'm flipping my head and tail
Over
I don't know the way
Over

I'm throwing up what i drank
No one here i would thank
I feel like a shark that's caught
In a goldfish tank

Swallowing a thousand pills
Trying to change how i feel
There's just to much time to kill
Between all my mistakes

Chemical
Up and up away i go
Out of my head

History

You're the shaded sun
You're daddy's broken gun
You're the loneliest moon
You are a butterfly dreaming about your cocoon
You're the only sound when I am blind
So I label you mine

You're the house you grew up in
You're always just arriving at your end
You're your mama's shit eatin' grin and your daddy's double chin
You're the first pair of shoes you ever went to school in
And you're the kid pretending she's in prison
Behind the bars of a jungle gym

Someone's gonna give you wings
And you'll think it's what you need
And you'll fly
You'll be so high

But you're history acts as your gravity
Your history acts as your gravity
Acts as your history acts as your gravity

You're the only one you ever believe in
You're the solution and you are the problem
You're a rapist and your only victim
You are fact and you are fiction
You're the only one you've considered a friend
And now you're alive
Waiting for your life to begin
Again

You try to find you, you who is lost
But your hooked to the rush of approaching chaos
You're king for a minute but a fool for an hour
Alone in your room
You are a closed flower
Dreams of your shadow you're going to destroy
The way you handle yourself
Like an unbreakable toy

Invisible Hands

There are things we cannot know
Invisible hands which guide the show from up above
And sometimes you are forced to go
Far away and shut the door
On the one you love
Well I don't know now where you are
Your photograph sits like a scar against my wall
Such a pretty face
The sunshine in your eyes
Taken on that day
When all we had was love

Shut the light on me

Now Jesus he came down here just to die for all my sins
I need him to come back here and die for me again
Cause I cannot forgive myself for what it is I've done
Avoiding your memory like a vampire does the sun
And all I want's your love
All I want's your love

Shut the light on me

Cockroach

You're putting poison here
You're putting poison here
And now you're a cockroach
Crawling on bones
Pretending your war
Has already been won

You never give anything
To any human being
Unless they
Give you something in return
If you get burned
You're gonna burn

And when you finally go away
I'm already gone
And when you finally say what you say
I'm singing this song

Your heads in quite a fix
The demon you never resist is coming
And he's leaning against your front door
The neighbors are asking you what it's all for
And still you could never admit
That maybe you could have prevented destruction
As it came out of your very core
My friend you are starting to become a bore

And when you finally go away
I'm already gone
And when you finally say what you say
I'm singing this song

Exhausted

I never sleep
I been awake for what feels like a year
'Cause when I dream
My mind puts a face
To each one of my fears
I'm exhausted by my imagination
I close my eyes
But I could still see the pain on your face
It's your disguise
You put your heart and soul on a plate
I'm exhausted by my imagination
The walls are bleeding cause i'm hallucinating
Beneath the wheel i cannot slow its rotation down

I got to get away from here
But there's nowhere i can go
Everyone i recognize looks at me like i am lost
Walking down these dire streets
I thought i heard you call my name
But it's only in my head
Or maybe it was just your ghost

Up in the sky
The clouds are dirty so soon it will rain
I lost my mind
After you told me that you went insane

I'm a victim of my imagination
These walls are talking but I'm hallucinating
Beneath the wheel that will not slow its rotation down
Down
Down in my head

I got to get away from here
But there's nowhere i can go
Everyone i recognize
Looks at me like I'm a ghost
Walking down these dying streets
I thought i heard you call my name
But it was only in my mind
You were never there at all

Eyes On My Back

I wish i had
Open eyes
On my back
So i could see
My life
Going past
Seems when
It's good
Everything
Goes to fast
And when its gone
You can never
Get it back

Try and take a picture
Through a dirty window
Try to touch your shadow
Fading when you follow

I been alone
For so long
It's hard to track
Down in a hole
No one knows

In the black
I know that soon
All the dogs
Will attack
I wish i had
Open eyes
On my back

Tattoo

I miss the days when you were in my world
It seems like it was a lifetime ago
We said our goodbye with tears
And promised to not let the years get away
But that's something you just have to say

In my pain
Is where I've tattooed your name
Was it a dream
Was it a dream

Going round and round and round and round your heart

Jeremy said he saw you out on second Ave
And you looked like you could use some sleep
You told him you sobered up
But now you are giving that up
'Cause sometimes
Love isn't stronger than wine

In my pain
Is where i've tattooed your name
Was it a dream
Was it a dream

Going round and round and round and round my heart

I wonder
What you must think about me
What I heard
Is you consider me dead
I guess that's fair of you
I never was good to you
I'm ashamed
For making you feel all my pain

When i sleep
Sometimes i still think we speak
Is it a dream
Is it a dream

Going round and round and round and round my heart