"Fishfuck"

Fishfuck, baby
Gonna fuck you with a fish [X2]
Gonna take a rivercarp and ram it up your butt
You slut You whore Why are you my Mom?
Fishfuck, baby
Gonna fuck you with a fish [X2]
Gonna take a moa-moa and swim it up your butt
You slut You whore Why?

"The Performer"

I'll come to town for you
Dress up like a clown for you
Pull my pants on down for you
Then I'll crawl away
I will blow hot fart on you
I will build an R-2 D-2
I won't even start for you
Unless you fucking pay
Because I am the performer [X3]
I will come to town for you
Dress up like a clown for you
Try not to fuck around on you
Do so anyway I will find the ark for you
Go sleep in the park with you I'll even suck a cock or two
But no sir, I'm not gay
[Chorus]
Before I was a whore, on tour I was the child always running around
With his dick hanging out and diapers pulled down
Show biz was calling so I hit the stage
Worked out an act where I got raped in a cage
My life was bullshit and I didn't care
Went to go bowling and I missed on my spare
But what else could I fucking do
But play another song for you...
Thinking about a nose job, too...
cause I am the Performer...

"Escape From The Mooselodge"

GWAR, the once mighty
Scumdogs of the Universe wallow in the filth that their lives have become.
Drug addicted, riddled with disease
They're not dogs, they're just scum...
Could they get a chance to change their fate
Destroy the things they've come to love with hate
Only time will tell...
I'm sick of this damn planet and the sluts and the booze,
I'd like to kill the Master, and start turning the screws
The sins of this planet have long since grown stale
We need to kill on a galactic scale
Forsaken by their cosmic master,
GWAR constantly schemes
For a way to escape Earth, realize their twisted dreams
Old men fly into space, GWAR cannot...
This re-occuring pattern of failure
Has fucked with them a lot
Get me the hell out of Dodge I'll turn in my card at the Moose Lodge
But first let me settle my account at
Blockbuster and bid fond adieu to my friend General Custer...
I scream to the heavens to split open wide and let loose a torrent
of death's ghastly tide
The power of Chaos, there's no reason why
We need a way to make everybody die...
The ancient legend of "The TimeBomb",
an alien device which supposedly chronicled all time's events
from the beginning-to the end.
If it could be deciphed by our bum, bling anti-heroes,
then the end of the world would come.
As to what this has to do with anything, I'm not really sure...
Out there the power is growing and it's growing fast
Here the only thing growing is my big fat ass.
Sales are dropping, riffs are slopping
Can you smell the zits I'm popping
What the hell can we do?
We've done it all,
I've humped god's nose
I've reeked of booze...
I've cancelled shows
Became everything that I despised And my own hell I recognize
But there's just so many little bohabs and they're always crowding
around begging me to suckle them and tie their mothers down
I will kill their girlfriends,
I will smoke their crack I become the pimp-daddy,
I become the Mack
But everyday I'm doing I'm dying deep inside
But I'm gonna tell ya something gonna give ya back your pride
So here's a little thought that I had the other day
If we could blow the planet up
We could just float away

"Tune From Da Moon"

[Sang by Scroda Moon]
YOU! Screwed it all up,
Ruined everything for everyone.
YOU! Won't even admit that it was all your fault.
WHOAH! The self indulgent ego will bring you down where ever you go.
All the hopes broken into tiny pieces,
you should be kings,
but you're wallowing in feces and now the tablet is broken.
YOU! Got to get it right, you got to get back what you lost.
YOU! Hot to find all of the pieces, or the end of the world will come.
I came here from the moon Just showed up this afternoon
You broke the tablet
Now you gotta fix it
You broke it! Why'd you break it?
You gotta fix it SCRODA MOON!
Soothsayer
Swordmaker
Windbreaker

"Jiggle The Handle"

[Sang by Scroda Moon, The Toilet, Oderus Urungus, Slymenstra Hymen, and Beefcake The Mighty]

[Scroda:]

GWAR, I bring forth the portal potty
Coming to feed on the shit from your bodies.
Your turds have more power than mere human feces
Let's use it's great power to recover the pieces

[The Toilet:]

Hey! Hey jackass!
Yea You!
You got to love me sooo good!
Yea, yea you can depend on me
Depending on, if my water's on...
if my pipe's unglogged...
Ahhhhh if you're water-logged...
Baby, I am the hole I am your toilet bowl I'll suck your soul
Just pay... just pay my shitty toll! ahhhh.

[Scroda:]

Coated in shit I give all you desire
Mystical doorway swimming in mire
We'll use the plunger if blockage won't budge
It's a door through the plane of fudge

[Oderus:]

So many times I have found you, still I always piss on the ground
Now that I can use you I'm gonna stop fucking around
If you need shit, then I got shit
On that you can depend I'll pump your stump,
you fuckin' hump, my crappy, crap-caked friend

[All:]

The Portal Potty, a gift from the gods
Let's pay it tribute and bury our wads

[Beefcake:]

I think we know what it's all about.
Jiggle the handle and watch something jump out.

[Slymenstra:]

I am a woman and I have my needs.
You can never really know just where or when I'll bleed
You need my egg, I need your seed
But pray at the altar, the toilet must feed!

[Toilet:]

Yea, I'll bring ya some suckers for a killing spree
Just keep that fucking tampon away from me.

[Slymenstra:]

Take in this world, it's sooo beautiful...
Filthy humans, you're all so full of it...
That which you can't stand you can't understand
Speak the mystic words and bring forth
a turd you turn around into it and turn over to me.

[Oderus:]

Cross the river, leave the abyss
Give the seat of the toilet a kiss

[Beefcake:]

Each Virgin sacrifice speaks these magic words.
Well, Jiggle the handle, and call forth a turd.

[Toilet:]

Yea! Here it comes baby,
I'm dropping my load
I'm ain't just on it,
I am the commode! Ahhh!

[Scroda:]

The power of the toilet must never be abused
He must be plunged, he must be sponged, or carnage could ensue.
If a dead sheep had clogged him, who knows what could arrive.
Maybe it will bring the Master here, wouldn't that be a surprise!

"Nitro-Burnin' Funny Bong"

Ahhh...sweet youth
The joys of becoming a teenage prostitute
Or in my case a blood-crazed gladiator
Til I got stuck on this planet and got hooked
on the weed and the crack and the booze and the pills and the speed
And the sex and the mud and blood and the shit
Let's go hit the
Nitro-burning funny bong
Just one hit, your life goes wrong
Nitro-burning funny bong
Another stupid stoner song
Fat and lame
The claws have been clipped and the tigers been tamed
By a bong, and a schlong
Yes now we have all seen how games can go wrong
My brains filled with bees and my cock is diseased
Laden with pus it hangs well past my knees
A swarm of narcotics could get me through this
My manager's gonna be pissed
Let's go hit the
Nitro-burning funny bong
Just one hit, your life goes wrong
Nitro-burning funny bong
Another stupid stoner song
Oh, can you take it
Yeah, do a monster
Oh, can you deal with it?
We won't respect you unless you get high with the boys
Now I'm old
Strapped in my cell as I cultivate mold
In the twilight of my years
I am still a drug addict
I'm sucking all night long on a ten foot bong
Moistened with lotion,
wrapped in a sarong I live like a king
but you know that I act like a faggot
Once was a warrior, now just a sponge
High all the time got a dick like a muskellunge
My glorious destiny it turned to shit
Can I get another hit?
From the Nitro-burning funny bong
Just one hit, your life goes wrong
Nitro-burning funny bong
Another stupid stoner song
Oh, can you take it
Yeah, do a monster
Oh, can you deal with it?
We won't respect you unless you get high with the boys

"Jagermonsta"

If you look at it you'll get drunk
Frothing mass of filthy chunk
Bloodshot eye and boiling spew
To kick the ass of punks like you
Seeking ancient wisdom, drinking with the gods
Rolling in the gutter, craving bloated bloody scrod
Where it came from none can say
Though they do so anyway
Memories of braincells lost
Promoting drunken holocaust
Try - to tame the fury of the Jagermonsta
Drinking, stinking, falling down
Acting like a fucking clown
A drunk who got what he deserved
At least his corpse is well-preserved
The Jagermonster comes to slay
By making you get drunk today
Then drive your car until it skids
Into a busload of retarded kids
Who burn alive, you drunken fuck and then get hit by another truck
Bleeding retards in the dirt
The funny things that you're not hurt
The coops don't come, you get away
You'll live to drink another day...
Hooray! Every stupid thing I do the Jagermonster tells me to
Bring forth now the virgin, soon her flesh to flay
Oh, she's not a virgin?
Still, we'll kill her anyway
That means we can fuck her
And fuck her we will
Then we will go get drunk and find
Someone else to kill
Drunken vengence from the grave
Hooves are flailing, nailing slaves
Beware the power of the Jagermonster!

"My Girly Ways"

[Sang by Slymenstra]
She is the creator of life
Sacrifice my will
To give you some time
You shall pay dearly
And now I give you a second chance
To correct your crooked path
All I ask is to embrace
The pussy everyday and
Understand
Understand
My girly way
The gods set forth their energies
The world shook and the sea's tremble
The great battle to destroy me
The most arrogant beast of all
The power and the glory
From my transformation
Came a vision
A series of miracles
With my golden body
I radiate like a thousand suns
I cast my spell upon you with a wave of my hand electricity consumes you
Giving your soul new life
Feel your mangled body sewn
Back together again
Awake now from this trance-like state
You must choose your fate
Now here's your second chance
To correct your crooked path
All I ask is
That you embrace
The things that I say
Understand
Understand
Understand

"The Master Has A Butt"

I'm thinking I was once a baby
Birthed deep within the Master's bowels
Shat across the cosmos, banished to this mudball
But I crave vengence, I'm not throwing in the towel
Well I said I'm sorry but you slapped me back down
I'm just a Sunday morning turd coming down
Stare into the inky blackness I swear I think you'll find him there
With over grown cuticles, and an asteroid belt I said now sonny,
de does not give a damn
Well I'm a real bad mama
A real bad man I like to spend a lot of time on the can
I had a little something to eat last night
It's not alright,
The Master has a butt
Well we fucked up the tablet and the Master heard the sound
A little birdie told me he's coming back around
His hideous wisdom calls for my death
There'll be nothing left
Except a butt
Daddy tells me to bend over
Whips your buttocks with a strap
Bails my ass out of reform school
Then he goes and takes a nap
Well I said that I was sorry but I couldn't make you care
If I could stop shitting then I'd change my underwear
If I can't kill the Master then I'll have to get a job I'm a fuckin' slob
The Master has a butt

"We Kill Everything"

In the hulking halls of hatred where the Master makes his throne
Within the "ass"-teroid belt where his body floats
alone his mind begins to wander the worm begins to turn all life
he must now squander the universe must burn
He plans eternal war, as the eternal way
But there is a force - which he must now obey
Time and the events within, chronicles of hate and sin
Everything, it has a start, but the end is always the best part
Our quest - to find the broken bits
Put them back and make them fit
And once that we have read the end
The tablet will blow up again [X4]
And we'll kill everything [X3]
Including ourselves
Summoning the Master
Call his form most vile
Champing mass of questing flesh
Protoplasmic pile
Ancient hunger, never filled until the universe is killed
The endless host of merging soul
Sucked into the feeding hole
Guts and giblets cascade down
Rectal midgets, flattened ground
Please pay attention to the plot
As I kick out this monster's snot
Splitting skulls and raking ribs,
Trephinated drainage sieve
Protruding mass of reeking bile
Which forms infected booger pile
Assemble now the tablet
Hope that it's not Braille
Bring forth now the Master
So we can end this tale
And we'll kill everything [X3]
Especially ourselves
Transmogrify your plasmic swarm
Evaporate before time's storm
And dedicate your life to porn
And dedicate your life to porn
You think that life has a reason?
You think your god has a soul?
I bare my bum to the heavens I think a head is a hole.
And we'll kill everything [X3]
Including ourselves