And it's twenty buck a plate i spent, oh:

Good morning, dearly beloved
I'd like to welcome ya'll
To see the side-effects of sex and alcohol
Please bow your heads and join me
In a prayer for these two
Who'll be together forever
'til they find somebody new

The bride is a flirt and the groom is worse
As he's putting the ring on her
He's checking out the bridesmaids
Thinking that he might take

The maid of honor's honor, oh:

Welcome, dearly beloved
We are here this afternoon
To throw rice as these two
Drive down the road to ruin
With cans tied to the bumper
And a dragging muffler too
They'll be together forever
Until they find somebody new

So raise your glass and join me
Here's to the bride and groom
They'll be together forever
'til they find somebody new

"I Ain't Gonna Take It Anymore"

You've worn the soles off both your shoes
Walkin' on me like ya do
This ain't what forever's for
And i ain't gonna take it
I ain't gonna take it anymore

I've cried and begged and cursed and prayed
But nothing's worked, nothing's changed
No way i win when you keep score
And i ain't gonna take it

I ain't gonna take it anymore

[Chorus:]
I'm gonna crawl out from this stone that i've been under
To see the light and breathe the air
And you'll have a million reasons why i shouldn't leave you
But for the first time in a long time i don't care

I guess on one hand you should laugh
'cause i've said the same things in the past
But this time one hand's on the door
And i ain't gonna take it

I ain't gonna take it, anymore

[repeat chorus]

Now i can't help but think of you
Lookin' back in my rear view
But i've been down that road before
And i ain't gonna take it
I ain't gonna take it anymore
I ain't gonna take it
I ain't gonna take it anymore

"Stealing Kisses"

It's late enough all you kids should be home
The policeman says as he takes your beer for his own
You remember wondering what his wife
Thought about his occupation

He knows that you were just chasing a dream
To the town line and then back and over again
So he winks at you girls
And tells you all "i'll see you later"

[chorus]
I was stealing kisses from a boy
Now i'm begging affection from a man
In my housedress don't know you who i am

Standing in your kitchen

It's late enough your husband's dinner is cold
So you wrap it up and leave it for him on the stove
It's probably the traffic again
Or another important meeting

And you haven't talked to an adult all day
'cept your neighbor who drives you crazy
When he finally gets in he's sure not in the mood for talking

[chorus]

And hours become days and days become years
And you could burn down this town
If they made matches from fear
Buy you're no worse off than anybody else

Hey don't you even know, don't you even know yourself

So you're standing outside your high school door
The one you walked out of twenty years before
And you whisper to all of the girls, run, run, run

I was stealing kisses from a boy
Now i'm begging affection from a man
In my housedress don't you know who i am
Take a look at who i am, i'm stealing kisses

"Fireflies"

Before you met me i was a fairy princess
I caught frogs and called them prince
And made myself a queen
Before you knew me i traveled 'round the world
I slept in castles and fell in love
Because i was taught to dream
I found mayonnaise bottles and poked holes on top
To capture tinkerbell
They were just fireflies to the untrained eye
But i could always tell

[chorus]
I believe in fairytales and dreamers dreams like bed sheet sails
And i believe in peter pan and miracles
And anything i can to get by

And fireflies

Before i grew up i saw you on a cloud
I could bless myself in your name and pat you on your wings
Before i grew up i heard you whisper so loud
"life is hard, and so is love, child, believe in all these things"
I found mayonnaise bottles and poked holes on top
To capture tinkerbell
And they were just fireflies to the untrained eye
But i could always tell

[chorus]

Before you met me i was a fairy princess
I caught frogs and called them prince
And made myself a queen
Before you knew me i traveled 'round the world
And i slept in castles and fell in love
Because i was taught to dream