The Chanukah Song

Performed by adam sandler

Contributed by marc lachance

Put on your yarmulke
Its time for chanukah
So much funnaka
To celebrate chanukah

Chanukah is the festival of lights
Instead of one day of presents
We get eight crazy nights

When you feel like the only kid in town
Without a christmas tree
Here’s a new list of people who are jewish
Just like you and me

Winona ryder,
Drinks manischewitz wine
Then spins a draydle with ralph lauren and calvin klein

Guess who gives and receives
Loads of chanukah toys
The girls from veruca salt and all three beastie boys

Lenny kravitz is half jewish,
Courtney love is half too
Put them together
What a funky bad ass jew

We got harvey keitel
And flash dancer jennifer beals
Yasmine bleeth from baywatch is jewish
And yes her boobs are real

Put on your yarmulka
Its time for chanukah
2 time ocsar winning dustin hoffmanaka
Celebrates chanukah

O.j. simpson
Still not a jew
But guess who is,
The guy who does the voice for scooby doo

Bob dylan was born a jew
Then he wasn’t
But now he’s back,
Mary tyler moore’s husband is jewish
’cause we’re pretty good in the sack.

Guess who got bar-mitzvahed
On the pga tour
No I’m not talking about tiger woods
I’m talkin’ about mr. happy gilmore.

So many jews are in the show biz
Bruce springsteen isn’t
But my mother thinks he is.

Tell the world-amanaka
It’s time for chanukah
It’s not pronounced ch-nakah
The c is silent in chanukah
So get your hooked on phonica
Get drunk in tijuanaka
If you really really wannaka
Have a happy happy happy happy chanukah!

The Cheerleader

Performed by adam sandler and steve koren

[sound of pom-poms]
Cheerleader: [with annoying feminine voice] ok you guys, let’s hear some spirit!
[performing cheer]
Cheerleader: united, we are united.. we’ll be ’cause we’re the tigers, we’re out for vic-tor-y - yeah!
[no response]
Cheerleader: come on you guys! I wanna hear you!
[still no response]
Cheerleader: come on! the girls volleyball team’s got a big game tonight! and we’re gonna win ’cause we’re the -
Guy in crowd: sit down!
Cheerleader: you guys are assholes! [whining] you think this is easy being a cheerleader!? let’s see you come down here and try it!
Guy: shut up!
Cheerleader: you’re the one who should be shutting up! this is my senior year of cheerleading and you’re ruining it! I paid for my pom-poms with my own money. [half-crying]
Guy: you suck!
Cheerleader: [hurt] I was gonna do a split for you guys, but now I’m not gonna cuz you guys don’t appreciate anything.
[something hurled and hit cheerleader]
Cheerleader: owwww! who threw that!? I’m gonna get a bruise now! I hate my school! [whining]
[crowd cheering softly in background]
Guy: we’re sorry.
[pause]
Guy: just kidding, you suck!
Cheerleader: [half-crying] ahhaw..no...

The Excited Southerner Orders a Meal

Performed by adam sandler and jon

Contributed by chris durkin

Adam: and the now the excited southerner orders a meal at his favorite
Diner.

Waiter: hi, what can I get you today?

Excited southerner: hi, how are you...i was...if you could, tell me, if you...eh,
The chef salad, if it, does it come, if you come... a la carte, if you see the...i
Saw the breakfast menu and the, and they got the, and the different entrees
With the dspe-dspe-dspe-dspecials today, and the the and...I’m watching my
Weight...diabetic, with the low sodium...if you could broil...i-i-i-instead
Of fried, I ya, just, hash browns...i wanted to mix the ketchup with the
May-mayonaise, make my own sauce, if that’s, could bring out a separate
Plate for that with the chicken, your chicken fried steak...the blue plate
Special, does that come with the soup of the day, or-

Waiter: I’ll come back when you’re ready.

Excited southerner: hoooo...

 The Excited Southerner Proposes to a Woman

Performed by adam sandler and tara

Transcribed by big brother.

[setting: a restaurant with music playing in the background]
And now the excited southerner proposes to a girl.

Girl: you wanted to ask me something?
Excited southerner: yes, I did. I - first of all I just wanted to say that you’re -- very pretty girl, and i, I -- hoo -- you’the -- we’ve known each other for so long now, and-uh, it’s ab
Ime that the two of us -- we’re both getting older right now, and-uh, and I don’t want to die alone, I -- tell you that much -- hoo -- getting ahead of myself -- got ta slow down, hoo-hoo, conce
E on what I’m trying to get across to you right now, hoo, I mean, whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-willing to be a house husband, you don’t have to qu-qu-qu-qu-quit your job there, there,
I’m, the-, i’m, I’m -- hoo, honeymoon in the poconos, with the -- hoo, woo hoo -- sex optional -- you don’t have to do what you don’t want to do, hoo hoo hoo hoo, someday you’re going to love m
D that -- that’s fi-- til death do us part i, we’ll get the chocolate cake and the sunrise and the sunset -- no prenuptial agree --
Girl: look, are you trying to ask me to marry you? because I’m just not ready for that kind of commitment.
Excited southerner: coooooo.

The Goat Song


Performed by adam sandler, allen covert, jon rosenburg, and mike thompson

I am a simple goat
I live on the back of a pick-up truck
The old man tied me here with a 3-foot rope
Am I happy he don’t give a fuck
He’s filled with anger, and filled with rage

And tells me I smell like piss
His drink, jimmy bean
His chaser, a bear
After that, various alcohols
That’s when the beatings get so severe

Asleep I pray he falls
But don’t feel sorry for me
Things weren’t always this bad
Why, when I was a young talking goat
The old man was just like my dad

I come from the hills of europe
That’s where I met the old man
He was lost in the woods, I gave him directions
He gave me a tuna can

Then he stopped in his tracks
And he said, hey goat!
Would you like to live with me?
I’ve got a house with a pick-up truck
In a place across the sea
I said, sure, why not, I’ve got no family
You seem like a nice guy

So we went off to america
The home of the apple pie
On the boat, the old man told me
I would be a present for his wife
A talking goat! he exclaimed,
She’d never seen this in her life
I felt so special!

Well, I just couldn’t believe it
After all theses years I finally had a friend
He trimmed my beard
He scraped my hooves
I prayed it would never end

But when we got to his house
There was no wife
Only a short, short letter
It said: I’m leaving you for your broher
Because he fucks me better
His eyes filled with tears of sadness
His heart was filled with grief

To soothe himself he drank a pint of old granddad
And beat me like a side of beef
I screamed, send me back to the hills of europe!
He just shook his head and said, nope!
No one will ever leave me again
To make sure, put on this 3-foot fucking rope.

Present day, I’ve been on the truck for 51 years
My only friend is the am radio
Sometimes the neighborhood children stop by
But it’s always rocks and beer bottles they throw

At first they’re excited to see a talking goat
They gather around to hear what I have to say
But I guess sometimes my stories go ont too long
So they leave and giggle I need a bidet

But you know there was a night that I did get off the truck
When the old man was passed out drunk
Three neightborhood kids took me to a rock ’n roll concert
The kind of music, old-school funk
It was the first time I got off the truck
The music made me lose control

The lead singer asked if we were having fun
I said, fucking crank that rock ’n roll!
The women at the show were beautiful
As they danced sexily on the soft grass
One of them even petted my fur
Fuck me in the goat-ass!

Then some long-haired guys grabbed me by the horns
And threw me in the mosh pit
They passed me around and treated me nie
Till I nerviously sprayed them with shit
Then the music stopped
And everything was quite
And all the rock ’n rollers started a fucking goat-riot

Kill the goat!
Kill the goat!
Kill the goat!
Kill the goat!

They chased me under the bleachers
They chased me onto the street
They chased me into an alley
And said I was a dead fucking goat meat
But then I saw a sight
That I never thought I’d see

The old man swinging his hickory stick
But he wasn’t swinging at me
Fuck you, pot-smoking turkeys!
Don’t you press your luck!

The long hairs ran away screaming
As I scrambled onto the truck
When we got home, the old man said,
Goat, you broke the sacred law
No! please! sorry! shit!
I’ll let it go this time, but if you leave again
I’ll break your fucking jaw!
Super! great! okay!

Thank you old man, for saving my life
Thank you again and again
You could have let them barbeque me,
But you acted like a friend

I’m not your friend, I don’t even like you
I’m just not drunk, he said
To prove his point, he drank a bottle of grain alcohol
And beat the fucking shit out of my tailbone
And I’ll probably never walk straight again

I guess you’d call me a scapegoat
A punching bag for the old man to mock
Just because his wife left him
For his brother’s abnormally large cock

He could have been my buddy
But instead he’s a crazy old fuck
And, once again, I go to sleep in my eternal home
The back of the pick-up truck

Goodnight, old man!
Yeah, goodnight goat!

The Hanukkah Song

Intro: this is a song, that uh, theres alot of xmas songs out there, but not
Too many about hanukkah, so I wrote a song for all those nice little jewish
Kids who don’t get to hear any hanukkah songs--here we go...

Put on your yalmulka, here comes hanukkah
Its so much fun-akkah to celebrate hanukkah,

Hanukkah is the festival of lights,
Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights.

When you feel like the only kid in town without a x-mas tree, heres a list of
People who are jewish, just like you and me:

David lee roth lights the menorrah,
So do james caan, kirk douglas, and the late dinah shore-ah

Guess who eats together at the karnickey deli,
Bowzer from sha-na-na, and arthur fonzerrelli.

Paul newmans half jewish; goldie hawns half too,
Put them together--what a fine lookin’ jew! [esus]

You don’t need deck the halls or jingle bell rock
Cause you can spin the dreidl with captain kirk and mr. spock--both jewish!
[esus]

Put on your yalmulka, it’s time for hanukkah,
The owner of the seattle super sonic-ahs celebrates hanukkah.

O.j. simpson-- not a jew!
But guess who is...hall of famer¡ºrod carew--(he converted!)

We got ann landers and her sister dear abby,
Harrison fords a quarter jewish--not too shabby!

Some people think that ebeneezer scrooge is,
Well, he’s not, but guess who is:all three stooges. [esus]

So many jews are in show biz--
Tom cruise isn¹t, [tacit] but I heard his agent is. [esus]

Tell your friend veronica, it’s time you celebrate hanukkah
I hope I get a harmonica, on this lovely, lovely hanukkah.

So drink your gin-and-tonic-ah, and smoke your mara-juanic-ah,
If you really, really wanna-kah, have a happy, happy, happy, happy
Hanukkah¡¡. happy hanukka!

The Hypnotist

Performed by adam sandler and kevin

Transcribed by big brother.

[typing sounds]
Dr. stewart: hi, [i’m] dr. stewart.
Gary phelps: hi, dr. stewart. nice to meet you -- I’m gary phelps.
Dr. stewart: my pleasure. gary, have you ever been hypnotized before?
Gary phelps: no, I haven’t. I’m actually quite nervous, but I just, uh, I --
Dr. stewart: all right, and you were referred to me by anyone...?
Gary phelps: to be honest with you, I saw your name in the yellow pages, and it said you’re good at this stuff, so I just, I gotta give it a shot, just kick this whole cigarette thing...
Dr. stewart: so smoking is your problem?
Gary phelps: yeah, I can’t stop smoking and it’s -- it’s finally, like, affecting everything I do, I can’t run, I can’t play basketball and all that stuff like that, so i, I gotta give it up.
Dr. stewart: how long have you smoked, gary?
Gary phelps: uh, I started when I was eleven years old, and I just can’t kick it, you know?

Dr. stewart: yeah, right. [small, barely noticeable fart] all right, gary, why don’t you just have a seat here and sit down and just relax -- what I do is hypnosis.
Gary phelps: right.
Dr. stewart: basically I just want you to sit back and relax -- let yourself sit back and relax and sink into the chair, and , um, just feel comfortable and trust me.

[bigger fart]
Gary phelps: [noticing fart sound] uh...
Dr. stewart: that’s it.
Gary phelps: o-kay....
Dr. stewart: that’s it.
Gary phelps: that was...o-kay...
Dr. stewart: all right? okay. gary, I want you to close your eyes, and I just want you to again relax and try to concentrate on nothing. okay? that’s it. now I’m gonna count backwards from five
Ro --
Gary phelps: right.
Dr. stewart: -- and I just want you to relax, and you’re going to fall into a deep state of mind -- of subconsciousness -- you’re very comfortable, I’ll be counting back from five, I just want y
Relax, and just think of nothing.
[three farts in succession]
Gary phelps: are you gonna keep doing that, or...?
Dr. stewart: hmm? just concentrate now. that’s it. close your eyes. keep your eyes closed. okay. now. we’re very comfortable. five [small fart], we’re thinking of nothing except being comfortabl
Nothing’s bothering us. okay. when I say the word relax, listen to me, you’re sinking, you’re sinking, [medium fart]
Gary phelps: oh my god...that was, uh....are you gonna keep doing that?
Dr. stewart: please just try to relax; that wasn’t me. okay. you’re very stressed -- you’re very stressed. okay, four, we’re relaxing, we’re relaxing, you’re very comfortable, you’re very, very
Ed. okay. four, three...[fart]
Gary phelps: oh my dear god, sir...uh, I can’t...
Dr. stewart: that was the couch. I know it sounded like -- it’s -- the vinyl -- it’s a new couch -- please, just try and concentrate. okay. and we’re very sleepy, we’re relaxed, thinking nothing
Ers us, nothing bothers us -- [several farts]
Gary phelps: uh, um, all right, could you open a window, maybe? I’m just having a tough time concentrating --
Dr. stewart: hmm? here we go -- there, there, we’re relaxing, we’re relaxing [fart and cough together] three, two, two --
Gary phelps: I was just going to ask you if you could maybe stop doing that. I can’t concentrate when you’re doing that.
Dr. stewart: this is what I do. it’s a counting-down thing. we’re relaxing now. just relax -- let it go, don’t focus on anything else, just concentrate on what we’re doing here. three, two, rela
Lax, that’s it, just relax [fart], we’re relaxing now --
Gary phelps: okay -- you’re gonna -- that one was -- it’s getting a little irritating --
Dr. stewart: hang on just a second here. let me just step out a second here.
Gary phelps: that’d be good.
Dr. stewart: all right, and we’re relaxing, as I leave, we’re relaxing, still relaxing,
[fart in the distance]
Gary phelps: jesus...oh my god.
Dr. stewart: we’re relaxing.
Gary phelps: [trying hard not to laugh]
Dr. stewart: okay, I’m back, we’re relaxing, and we’re counting down, we’re to two, and all we’re thinking about is healthy, fresh air. freshness. breathing in. breathing in deep, letting out. [

Gary phelps: sir, I’d appreciate if you could stop ’letting it out’. but okay, okay, fine, thank you.
Dr. stewart: that’s it, you’re all right, everything’s good. all right, you feel very comfortable, you’re sinking into the chair, we’re relaxing, one [long fart], and we’re coming down to zero a

Gary phelps: oh my god, uh...yes, all right, it was nothing...
Dr. stewart: no, no, that time that was you.
Gary phelps: that wasn’t me!

Dr. stewart: we’re not here to pick sides, we’re not here to pick sides, that was you, and maybe we could deal with this in another session, but right now we’re dealing with the smoking, and, um
’s not worry about anything else that’s going down --
Gary phelps: ok, I’ve just gotta kick this habit.
Dr. stewart: down to zero, relaxing, we’re going to feel very fresh [fart], we’re going to feel very healthy [fart], and let’s take a nice, deep breath --
Gary phelps: I can’t breathe, sir, uh, I’m sorry, I just -- [squirty fart]
Gary phelps: oh my God -- what did you eat? it smells like baby food --

Dr. stewart: all right, we’re relaxing -- that one probably squirted out a little into the pants, but we’ll just continue with thte floating [fart] -- yeah, that was definitely a squirt -- but h
E go, one, zero, we are under. are you relaxed?
Gary phelps: yeah, I’m under, I guess.
Dr. stewart: here we go, relaxing, relaxing. you’re under a deep trance, you will not smoke anymore, you will just feel healthy from now on, and you’ll be breathing in nothing but fresh air, and
Will not smell anything in this room, it wasn’t me, it wasn’t me farting [fart] -- that was not me --
Gary phelps: [hysterically laughing under his breath] you’re gonna have to stop doing that, sir. it’s just very hard for me to listen to you when you’re --
Dr. stewart: you’re floating now, you’re high above, you’re looking down, nothing but fresh pastures and fields, and here we go [long fart]
Gary phelps: oh man...
Dr. stewart: -- that was you,
Gary phelps: that was not me, sir! I’m watching you!
Dr. stewart: that was you, and when you wake up, you will not remember any of this, except that it was you, or my receptionist, don’t worry, she gets it all the time. all right -- you smell noth
I’m perfectly clean. I have no bad gas; it was all from outside or from -- from -- you yourself. and let’s not forget the smoking thing that’s why you’re here. no smoking. repeat after me: I am
Lly pig.
Gary phelps: what?
Dr. stewart: all right, we’re moving along, and we;’re relaxed. [fart] all right, and now we’re going to count back up, up one to five,
Gary phelps: ok, you know, I think this is fine, I don’t want to smoke...
Dr. stewart: gary, settle down, relax, and when I get to five, you will snap out of this, and you won’t remember this, especially the smell, the smell was from you. all right? and here we go. ze
E’re coming out of it, you’re waking up slowly, your eyes are opening, one, you’re feeling good, and when you wake up, you’ll feel wide awake and perfect you’ll feel whole and [fart] all-righty,
Pped that one out there and I apologize. I ripped a good one there. that was a nice out..
Gary phelps: that was not nice.
Dr. stewart: here we go, and, we’re coming right [fart]
Gary phelps: what was that?
Dr. stewart: that was three.
Gary phelps: it didn’t sound like three.
Dr. stewart: three, I’m counting, and four, it’s no smell in here, and you don’t smoke, you don’t want a cigarette, no, and here we go [fart] five, and -- [snap] do you want a cigarette?
Gary phelps: no I don’t.
Dr. stewart: then my job is done.
Gary phelps: [bursts into laughter]
Dr. stewart: [fart] please leave the door open as you leave. [fart]
Gary phelps: ok, thank you, doctor.

[typing resumes and another fart is heard]

The Longest Pee

erformed by adam sandler and rob schneider

[line of people talking]
Hey man, let me in there first
-go ahead man, take it easy
Thanks, I really gotta pee

[open door, close door]
[unzip pants]
[start pissin..........groaning....]
Oh man
[.....]
Ohhh yeah
[.....]
Ahhhh
[......stop briefly]
Ahh

[start pissing again..]
Oh man
[........]
Oh man
[...............]
Oh man
[.......gets louder]
Oh man
[..........and louder]
Oh man!!
[............as loud as a hose]
Oh man!!! oh..
[...........]
Oh no!
[........]
Oh man!
[...............slows down]
Ahhh
[stops]
Ahhhhhh...there ya go

[fart! starts pissing loudly again]
Oh! oh man!
[..............]
Oh my god!

[banging on the door]
[pissing slows down to dribble]
I’ll be out in a minute!
[....dribbling...]
Oh..oh my
[stops]
Oh...oh thank god

[zips up pants]
[pisses in pants]
Awwww man!

[people laughing]
-hey man, you pissed in your pants
I know
-so did i
I guess that makes us piss pals
[horrible annoying laughter]
[rasberry]

The Thanksgiving Song Performed by Adam Sandler

They wanna hear the thanksgiving song! all right..
This is uhh, this is the thanksgiving song
I hope you enjoy it.

[starts playing]
Love to eat turkey
Love to eat turkey

Shout from crowd: I love you adam!
Adam sandler: ohhh, I love you!
Love to eat turkey
’cause it’s good
Love to eat turkey
Like a good boy should
’cause it’s turkey to eat
So good

Adam sandler: that clappin’s messing my head up man. I appreciate it. but I was trying to think of the next line and all I hear is clapping. here we go... thanks anyways

Turkey for me
Turkey for you
Let’s eat the turkey
In my big brown shoe
Love to eat the turkey
At the table
I once saw a movie
With betty grable
Eat that turkey
All night long
Fifty million elvis fans
Can’t be wrong
Turkey lurkey doo and
Turkey lurkey dap
I eat that turkey
Then I take a nap

Thanksgiving is a special night
Jimmy walker used to say dynomite
That’s right
Turkey with gravy and cranberry
Can’t believe the mets traded darryl strawberry
Turkey for you and
Turkey for me
Can’t believe tyson
Gave that girl v.d.

White meat, dark meat
You just can’t lose
I fell off my moped
And I got a bruise
Turkey in the oven
And the buns in the toaster
I’ll never take down
My cheryl tiegs poster
Wrap the turkey up
In aluminum foil
My brother likes to masturbate
With baby oil
Turkey and sweet potato pie
Sammy davis jr.
Only had one eye

Turkey for the girls and
Turkey for the boys
My favorite kind of pants
Are corduroys
Gobble gobble goo and
Gobble gobble gickel
I wish turkey
Only cost a nickel
Oh I love turkey on thanksgiving

Happy thanksgiving everybody!

Toll Booth Willie

Performed by adam sandler, rob schneider, tim meadows, david spade, steve koren, tim herlihy, and margaret ruden

[car approaches]
Toll booth willie: welcome to worchester. dollar twenty-five please.
M1: hey, how ya doin’ toll booth willie?
Toll booth willie: good! thanks fer askin, pop!
M1: aww, that’s great, you know, considering yer a fuckin’ idiot!
[pays toll and drives off]
Toll booth willie: go fuck yourself you son of a bitch! I’ll come right outta the booth and fuckin’ whack ya, you fuckin’ prick!

[another car approaches]
M2: hey, hey, willie! hows it going?
Toll booth willie: hey, can’t complain, pop. hows ’bout you?
M2: oh, great, great. how much?
Toll booth willie: the state charges a dollar twenty-five, pop.
M2: that’s fine. now should I give you the money, or should I shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!?
[pays toll and drives off]
Toll booth willie: why you fuckin’ hard on! I’ll fucking carlton fisk yer fuckin’ head with a louise-ville fuckin’ slugger! whadya think of that ass fuck!?

[another car approaches]
F1: hi willie.
Toll booth willie: oh, nice to see ya m’am. not a bad day, huh?
F1: well, I’m a little lost. could you help me out? I hear your the best with directions.
Toll booth willie: well I know my way around new england. I can tell ya that much. so where ya headed?
F1: well, I was just wondering exactly which is the best way to drive up your ass. you know, if you’d tell me, I’d appreciate it, you fuckin’ prick.
[drives off]
Toll booth willie: you fuckin’ bitch! fuck you! you forgot to pay the fuckin’ toll you dirty whore! I’ll fuckin’ drop you with a boot to the fuckin’ skull you cum guzzling queen!

[another car approaches]
M3: hey willie.
Toll booth willie: hey, how are ya?
M3: here’s a dollar twenty-five, and go fuck yourself.
[pays toll and drives off]
Toll booth willie: dah, you fuckin’ prick! I hope you choke on a fuckin’ bottle cap, ya fuckin’ son of a fuck! eat shit! eat my shit!

[another car approaches]
Bishop nelson: hello willie. good to see you.
Toll booth willie: ahhh, bishop nelson. nice to see ya. that was quite a sermon you had the other day.
Bishop nelson: hey, well I do my best.
Toll booth willie: dollar twenty-five, bishop.
Bishop nelson: dollar twenty-five, willie. isn’t that the same price your mother charges for a blow job, you piece of dog shit!?
[pays toll and drives off]
Toll booth willie: ohhh! have another one, you fuckin’ lush! it’s not my fault the bartender cut ya off last night ya fuckin’ douche bag!

[another car approaches]
M5: hey!
Toll booth willie: well hey!
M5: yeah, do you want the money, or should I just shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!?
[pays toll and drives off]
Toll booth willie: well, I already heard that one you fuckin’ unoriginal bastard! go suck a corn you fuckin’ piece of repeatin’ shit!

[another car approaches]
F2: hi.
Toll booth willie: oh, hi. how are ya?
F2: fine, thank you. how much is the toll please?
Toll booth willie: for you sweetheart, it’s a dollar twenty-five.
F2: here ya go.
[pays toll]
F2: thank you.
[begins to drive off]
Toll booth willie: hey! hey! honey! would you like a receipt with that?
F2: oh, I almost forgot. thank you so much.
[toll booth willie scribbling a receipt for her]
Toll booth willie: and here ya are.
F2: umm, do you think you could sign it?
Toll booth willie: oh, uh.. sign it?
F2: yeah, sign toll booth willie was here.
Toll booth willie: ok, sure. uhh, by the way, what is this for?
[signing receipt]
F2: just so I could have proof for my friends that I met the biggest fuckin’ dip shit with the smallest dick alive. you understand.
[drives off]
[crumples up paper]
Toll booth willie: fuck you, you fuckin’ upity bitch! I’ll fuckin’ fuck you and all your lesbian fish-eating friends in front of your fuckin’ mothers! you’re gonna die, bitch! I’m comin’ o
The booth! [opens the door and runs out of the booth]

[car screeches and hits him]
Toll booth willie: ooooh! my fuckin’ leg!
M6: hey! you ran over toll booth willie!
M7: oh my god! I was always wondering what it would be like to run over a
Dried up stinky dick licker.
Toll booth willie: why you fuckin’ pricks. I fuckin’ hear every fuckin’ word yer saying! when this fuckin’ leg heals, I’m gonna kick you guys new fuckin’ assholes!

[everyone cussing eachother out]