lepo se ismejah

 

Za neupucene tj za one koji nisu gledali seriju i ne mogu da shvate fore, jesu sranja.

a za mene,i 99% sveta, koji su gledali seriju,i shvatam da samo u vicu "chuck norris" preimenujes u "jack bauer",i pravis se da imas vic

@ ColdOne

Iako mislim da si 100 % u pravu, ipak je red da dobiju sansu da zazive temu i da budu inventivni.
Ako ne uspeju u tome ... katance sto je veoma verojatno u skoro vreme 

Evo da tema zazivi sry sto je na engleskom!!!   






3.06     Nostradamus once predicted in his journal: "In the century 21st, the one known as Jacques will be the savior of the world... five seasons in a row." Moments later, Jack Bauer knocked down the door, shot Nostradamus in the kneecaps, and yelled "WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?!"
#689    3.04    A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Minister walked into a bar... and Jack Bauer is going to find out why...
#428    3.02    Superman has Jack Bauer pajamas.
#300    3.02    Jack Bauer has no friends, because as a child when he would play cops and robbers, the robbers would all be interogated and killed.
#81    3.01    Jack Bauer has been to Mars. Thats why there's no life on Mars.
#945    3.00    Jack's friend Chase once said that he loved Kim Bauer. Jack then killed a bunch of terrorists to try and calm down. After running out of terrorists, Jack told Chase he had no other choice and chopped off his arm with a fire axe.
#378    3.00    On Jack Bauers Tax Returns, he has to claim the entire world as his dependants.
#478    3.00    Jack Bauer is the reason Waldo is hiding.
#903    3.00    During a trip to Seattle, Jack Bauer heard Grunge music for the first time and thought it sucked. Three days later, Kurt Cobain was dead.
#927    3.00    The war in Iraq will end when Jack Bauer vacations there.
#1000    3.00    Jack Bauer found Bin Laden. Let him go, and found him again for his own amusment.
#851    2.99    If Jack Bauer were gay, he would be Chuck Norris
#823    2.99    Jack Bauer doesn't dodge bullets. Bullets dodge Jack Bauer.
#569    2.99    Jack Bauer can eat just one Lay's Potato Chip. Don't tell Jack what he can't fucking do.
#544    2.99    Jack Bauer doesn't drink honey, he chews bees.
#56    2.99    Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
#1414    2.99    Jack Bauer snapped a store clerk in half because he had said "Have a nice day!" Nobody tells Jack Bauer what to do.
#1424    2.99    Jack Bauer doesn't read a book. He tortures it until he has all the information he needs.
#111    2.97    Jack Bauer doesn't cut his grass, he stares at it and dares it to grow.
#52    2.97    Every time you maturbate Jack Bauer kills a terrorist. Not beacuase you masurbated, but because that is how often he kills terrorists.
#545    2.96    Jack Bauer kills so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 on the world most wanted list was a kid from Malasia that downloaded the movie Dodgeball.
#163    2.96    Jack Bauer's poker face is so good he once won a game of poker with monopoly money, an eight card from uno, a joker, a visa card, a tissue, and an iPod nano.
#515    2.95    It took God six days to get His job done; Jack has 24 hours.
#1411    2.95    If Jack Bauer were gay his name would be Steven Seagal.

Jos malo....



2.94     It would only take 1 bullet for Jack Bauer to kill 50 Cent.
#704    2.93    Everytime you masturbate, Jack Bauer kills a terrorist. Not because you were masturbating, but because that is how often Jack Bauer kills terrorists
#332    2.93    If Jack Bauer and MacGyver were locked in a room, Jack Bauer would make a bomb outa MacGyver.
#71    2.92    Jack Bauer named his cat 'Chuck Norris.' Why? Because he's a pussy.
#637    2.92    Jack Bauer can go more than 24 hours without eating or taking a dump. If you doubt this, there is over 96 hours of video footage to back it up.
#933    2.92    Jack Bauer banged my sister. Good for him.
#878    2.92    Jack Bauer once wrote a book. You might know it. It's called The Bible.
#924    2.92    Pain is weakness leaving the body. Jack Bauer feels no pain because he has never had weakness. Ever.
#1494    2.90    Jack Bauer can talk about Fight Club.
#402    2.90    Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite is violet, not because its pretty but because it sounds like violent.
#343    2.90    Ken Jennings won every game of Jeopardy because he put "Jack Bauer" as the answer to Final Jeopardy, and Jack Bauer is never wrong.
#818    2.90    Chuck Norris's beard can deflect bullets... Jack Beuer only needs 5 o'clock shadow.
#1392    2.89    Jack can't believe 60 Minutes doesn't occur in real time.
#99    2.89    Chuck Norris told Jack Bauer that he only killed 15 people cause he ran out of bullets. Jack told him he only killed 93 people cause he ran out of people. Then Jack snapped Chuck Norris' neck into 24 pieces.
#733    2.89    Jack Bauer can divide by zero.
#819    2.88    Sonny Bono cut off Jack Bauer while skiing. Once.
#122    2.88    Jack bauer named his cat chuck Norris because it is a pussy
#342    2.88    Taco Bell used to close at midnight, until Jack Bauer decided he wanted to have burritos at 2 am.
#650    2.87    Jack Bauer can go on a hunting trip with the Vice President and live.
#194    2.86    Jack Bauer's cell phone never runs out of battery because the cell phone doesnt want to be mistaken for helping the terrorist.
#504    2.86    You can't compare Jack Bauer to Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ only came back to life once.
#1397    2.86    If Jack Bauer was out in a room with three terrorists and one bullet, he would kill the terrorists and walk out with one bullet. Jack Bauer doesn't need bullets.
#82    2.86    When Jack Bauer goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
#574    2.85    Jack Bauer does the Sunday New York Times crossword puzzle on Saturdays. In pen.

2.85     What you don't know can't hurt you... unless you don't know Jack Bauer.
#712    2.85    On most Health insurance forms the last question is "Have you now, or ever in your past, made Jack Bauer mad? yes or no.
#678    2.85    Jack Bauer doesn't get an erection, he sets up a perimeter in his pants.
#1409    2.84    One time someone put handcuffs on jack bauer, historians have labeled this event as the worst mistake EVER
#58    2.84    Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
#822    2.84    In the past five years Steven Segal has lost 20 pounds running from Jack Bauer.
#805    2.83    When Jack Bauer is peeing against the wind, the wind gets wet.
#652    2.83    Once, Jack Bauer's car ran out of gas. After pistol whipping it for 10 minutes it began to run again. He has never had to fill up his tank since.
#3    2.83    Jack Bauer wears aviator sunglasses as a courtesy to the Sun so it doesn't have to look into his eyes.
#389    2.82    Jack Bauer doesn't follow protocol. Protocol follows Jack Bauer.
#517    2.82    Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.
#658    2.82    Jack Bauer once double-teamed a girl, by himself
#1497    2.82    When Jack Bauer is bored, he goes next door and kick's his neighbor's ass. His neighbor is Chuck Norris.
#680    2.81    When Jack Bauer opens a pack of Twix there are three.
#736    2.81    If Jack Bauer were gay his name would be Chuck Norris
#737    2.81    Jack Bauer doesn't dodge bullets, bullets dodge Jack Bauer.
#673    2.80    There's a reason why getting your car stolen is referred to as being "Jacked."
#666    2.80    Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds. Jack bauer doesn't drink milk. Milk is for pussies.
#57    2.80    Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.
#395    2.78    When Jack Bauer looks in the mirror, his reflection has to look away.
#408    2.78    Jack Bauer doesn't smile very often. But when he does, you damn well better smile with him.
#627    2.77    You can't talk to Jack because: he can't talk now. He'll explain later.
#648    2.77    There are three ways to make the things. The right way, the wrong way, and the Jack Bauer way. The Jack Bauer way is right, but with a lot violence.
#1421    2.77    During a particularly intense interrogation session, Jack Bauer actually killed a man with his bare eyes.

2.77     When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.
#707    2.77    Jack Bauer can beat the gay out of Elton John
#588    2.76    Jack Bauer doesn't have to do anything for a Klondike bar.
#679    2.76    My parents told my little brother and I that Jack Bauer was "just a television character". We are now orphans.
#1425    2.75    There is no such thing as Evolution. There are the animals Jack Bauer doesn't kill.
#571    2.75    Jack Bauer doesn't have nightmares. Nightmares have Jack Bauers.
#599    2.75    when jack bauer cuts onions, the onions cry
#391    2.75    If you ever tried to tell Jack Bauer to go to hell, the Devil would silence you before you finished the sentence.
#173    2.75    Jack Bauer doesn't wash his clothes. He tortures them until they're clean.
#118    2.74    People have begun to play a drinking game called "Bauer Hour", where you take a shot of Jack Daniels every time Jack kills someone. One person usually goes through 3 bottles an episode.
#526    2.73    Not only is Jack Bauer on a first name basis with Death, Jack has slept with his sister and covers for him when he goes on holiday.
#636    2.73    Jack Bauer will kill you if you rate any of his facts below 5 stars. He also knows that only 4 stars are available to you
#577    2.72    Jack Bauer can beat connect four in three moves
#713    2.71    Jack Bauer twisted the cap off a coke bottle only to have it say " Sorry, play again. Enjoy coke!". Jack put the cap back on and kept twisting until it said " Sorry, you win! Don't hit me!"
#509    2.71    Jack Bauer is leading cause of death in America. Heart disease knows its place.
#852    2.71    Jack Bauer played chicken with a train, and won.
#463    2.70    Jack Bauer doesn't have a shadow. He noticed that the shadow was sneaking on him and Jack tortured it to death.
#377    2.69    Popeye eats spinich and throws the can away. Jack Bauer throws the spinich away and eats the can.
#917    2.69    Jack Bauer's vanity plate reads: IKIL4CTU
#524    2.69    Jack Bauer wathed the tape from The Ring. Its been 37 days now and that long haired little brat still hasn't turned up.
#768    2.68    Jack Bauer was removed from Counter-strike by Valve because the counter-terrorists always won. Always.
#367    2.68    Jack Bauer did not let Paul Raines die because he wanted to be with Audrey. He let him die because no man alive has the right to say that he saved Jack Bauer's life.
#700    2.68    James Bond has a collection of Jack Bauer posters in his room.
#675    2.68    Jack Bauer has never had to use the Backspace button on his computer.

2.68     If Jack says "I just want to talk to him/her" and that him/her is you... well amigo, you're fucked.
#536    2.68    Jack doesnt have to touch his dick when he masturbates, he just looks at his penis and says "You've read my file, you know what im capable of" skeet skeet.
#576    2.68    Jack Bauer can un-scramble an egg
#763    2.67    All work and no play makes Jack Bauer one bad motherfucker.
#796    2.67    jack bauer didn't cry when he was born. but Chuck norris did.
#983    2.67    Jack Bauer assigns his teachers homework.
#365    2.67    Chuck Norris and Jack Bauer once got into a fight, the event is commonly known as the Big Bang. If you want to know who won, just ask yourself when was the last time you saw a new episode of Walker Texas Ranger?
#1415    2.66    When Jack Bauer does a press-up, he isn't pushing himself up....he's pushing the world down.
#663    2.66    Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. He did this while counting how many terrorists were killed by Jack Bauer.
#53    2.66    The real reason Jack Bauer was fired from CTU was his massive cell phone bill.
#1434    2.66    While growing up on a farm, Jack's parents wanted him to kill a turkey for Thanksgiving. He started by shooting the turkey in the kneecaps.
#320    2.65    After the nuclear apocalypse, all that will be left is five cockroaches and Jack Bauer
#839    2.65    Jack Bauer understands the teacher in Charlie Brown.
#1445    2.65    Jack Bauer has never lost a game of Russian roulette. It's not because of luck but because every bullet knows that it can't kill Jack.
#160    2.64    Jack Bauer is the only person in the world to win a game of connect four in two moves
#1402    2.64    Jack Bauer CAN make an omelett without breaking any eggs.
#89    2.64    It doesnt take 24 hours for Jack Bauer to foil Terrorist Plots, He is just toying with them.
#54    2.64    Jack Bauer's mom asked him who he loved more, her or his country. To this Jack chuckled and responded, "You know that answer" as he snapped her neck. Jack Bauer hates dumb people.
#64    2.63    In high school, Jack Bauer got a job working as a department store Santa. He was fired after he tortured a child to tell him her Christmas list.
#720    2.63    The leading cause of death is Jack Bauer. Tobacco knows not to mess with Jack Bauer.
#1422    2.62    If Jack fell into the ocean, he would not get wet. The ocean would get jacked.
#546    2.62    Rome wasn't built in a day, but thats how long it took Jack Bauer to destroy it.
#745    2.62    Bullet-proof vests wear Jack Bauer for protection...
#97    2.61    The Grim Reaper calls Jack Bauer for advice.