David came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk,
as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already
asleep.

He gave a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found
a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing
white robe. "Who the hell are you?" Demanded David, "and what are you
doing in my bedroom?". The mysterious Man answered "This isn't your
bedroom and
I'm St Peter".

David was stunned "You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have so much
to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family.... you've got to
send
me back straight away".

St Peter replied "Yes you can be reincarnated but there is a catch.
We can only send you back as a dog or a hen." David was devastated,
but
knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent
back as
a hen.

A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around
pecking the ground. "This ain't so bad" he thought until he felt this
strange feeling welling up inside him.

The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new hen,
how are you enjoying your first day here?"
"It's not so bad" replies David, "but I have this strange feeling
inside like I'm about to explode".
"You're ovulating" explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've never
laid an egg before".
"Never" replies David "Well just relax and let it happen" And so he
did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from
under
his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions
got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time.
When
he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was
overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the
best thing that ever happened to him... ever!!!

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he
felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife
shouting "David, wake up you drunken bas*ard, you're sh*tting the bed"
 

 

 

A joooooooj