1. If you think sex is a pain in the ass, try different position.

2.Obviously the only rational solution to your problem is suicide.

3. Join the Army! Travel to exotic, distant lands. Meet exciting, unusual people, and kill them.

4.The quickest way to a man's heart is not through the stomach but through his chest, with an axe.

5. Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy.

6. A thousand million flies can't be wrong - eat shit.

7. Blow your mind -- smoke gunpowder.

8. KARAOKE: A Japanese word meaning tone deaf.

9. Research shows that nine out of ten men who try Camel... prefer women.

10. When I die, I hope to go to Heaven, whatever the Hell that is.

11. When you die you go to heaven. Until then welcome to hell!

12. In an atomic war, all men will be cremated equal.

13 I'll never get off this planet.

14.I have a 28.800 bps modem and 11 bps fingers.

15. "Keyboard missing - press F3 to continue"

16. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

17. Buy me another beer. Your still ugly.

18. Without this great land of ours, we would all drown.

19. Save a tree... Eat a beaver

20. Evil spelled backward is live

21. It is better to be pissed off than pissed on."

22. When money talks, nobody pays any attention to the grammar.

23. I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy.

24. Remember, it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to pull the trigger of a decent sniper rifle.

25. If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I would have farted.

26. If at first you don't succeed, fuck the world and smoke some weed.

27. I won't have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.

Evil spelled backward is live
ode u moj potpis...

 

extra! 

 

bravo

27. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

28. It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

29. One of the greatest lies of all time: I'm from the government, and I'm here to help you

30. When you run over an animal, it loses not only its life but also its third dimension.

31. Be creative, invent a perversion.

32. Dead people are cool.

33. Keep Sweden tidy, shoot a tourist.

34. Reality is an illusion caused by lack of alcohol

35. Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.

36. Eagles may soar, free and proud, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines

37. FOOT: A device for finding furniture in the dark

38. PHILOSOPHY: A study that lets us be unhappy more intelligently

39. SLEEP: A poor substitute for caffeine.

40. SUSHI: Known to the rest of the world as 'Bait'.

41. The only reason so many people attended his funeral was they wanted to make sure he was dead

42. We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse

43. Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie!" ...until you can find a rock.

44. What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull

45. Life is a bitch, then you marry one

46. I'd insult you, but you're not bright enough to notice

47. I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

48. Lower the age of puberty!

49. We are the people our parents warned us about

50. Cancer cures smoking

51. Sky-diving: good till the last drop

52. If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit



Nije bas citat, ali me je nasmejala:



I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face."

I said, "You'll be sorry."

He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?"

I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."



e jbg, zajebo sam se u brojanju

 

 

21. It is better to be pissed off than pissed on.

hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa