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Tema: Politicki nekorektni vicevi  (Pročitano 90976 puta)
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Koja je Dinkićeva omiljena seks poza?
69 + PDV
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Krajnje beznadezan


Zivot je ringispil i kola na sudaranje

Zodijak Scorpio
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Prvi školski dan u jednoj američkoj školi.
Učiteljica predstavlja novog učenika Hakira Suzukija iz Japana.

Počinje čas i učiteljica ispituje: "Sada ćemo videti koliko poznajete
američku istoriju. . .  ko je rekao "Sloboda ili smrt"? Odjednom tišina.  Samo
Suzuki digne ruku i kaže: "Patrick Henry, 1775.  godine, Philadelphija"

"Vrlo dobro Suzuki.  A ko je rekao "Država je narod! I kao takva ne sme
nikada umreti!"? Suzuki ustane: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863.  Washington. "

Na to nastavnica strogo pogleda razred pa reče: "Sram vas bilo! Suzuki je
Japanac, a poznaje američku istoriju bolje od vas!"

Tihi glas iz kraja razreda: "Jebite se, posrani Japanci!"
"Ko je to rekao?!" Vikne nastavnica, na šta Suzuki digne ruku i kaže:
"General MacArthur, 1942.  Guadalcanal i Lee Iacocca 1982.  na skupštini
deoničara Chryslera u Detroitu"

U razredu tišina - iz pozadine se čuje "Puši k***c!"
Učiteljica sva izvan sebe: "Sad je kraj! Ko je to rekao?!"
Suzuki: "Bill Clintom Monici Levinsky, Oval Office, 1997.  godine,
Washington"

Drugi učenik se prodere: "Suzuki je govno!"
Suzuki: "Valentino Rossi, Rio de Janeiro, moto Grand-Prix, Brazil 2002"

Razred pada u histeriju a nastavnica u nesvest, na vrata upada upravnik
škole: "U pi*ku materinu, još nikad nisam vidio takav haos!!!"

Suzuki: " Mirko Cvetković, premijer Srbije, ministru finansija prilikom
predstavljanja novog državnog budžeta , godine 2010, Beograd"

 :P :P :P :P :P
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Legenda foruma

Zodijak Gemini
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АКО ХОЋЕШ СА МНОМ МОРАШ ДА ЗНАШ СИМВОЛ ВЕРЕ И ОЧЕ НАШ !!!
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Svakodnevni prolaznik


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Zasto crnci imaju bele dlanove?
Da ne bi prljali pamuk  :mrgreen:
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Legenda foruma

Црвене сијају звезде, само једној гаси се сјај...

Zodijak
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Zastava Краљево
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Prvi školski dan u jednoj američkoj školi.
Učiteljica predstavlja novog učenika Hakira Suzukija iz Japana.

Počinje čas i učiteljica ispituje: "Sada ćemo videti koliko poznajete
američku istoriju. . .  ko je rekao "Sloboda ili smrt"? Odjednom tišina.  Samo
Suzuki digne ruku i kaže: "Patrick Henry, 1775.  godine, Philadelphija"

"Vrlo dobro Suzuki.  A ko je rekao "Država je narod! I kao takva ne sme
nikada umreti!"? Suzuki ustane: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863.  Washington. "

Na to nastavnica strogo pogleda razred pa reče: "Sram vas bilo! Suzuki je
Japanac, a poznaje američku istoriju bolje od vas!"

Tihi glas iz kraja razreda: "Jebite se, posrani Japanci!"
"Ko je to rekao?!" Vikne nastavnica, na šta Suzuki digne ruku i kaže:
"General MacArthur, 1942.  Guadalcanal i Lee Iacocca 1982.  na skupštini
deoničara Chryslera u Detroitu"

U razredu tišina - iz pozadine se čuje "Puši k***c!"
Učiteljica sva izvan sebe: "Sad je kraj! Ko je to rekao?!"
Suzuki: "Bill Clintom Monici Levinsky, Oval Office, 1997.  godine,
Washington"

Drugi učenik se prodere: "Suzuki je govno!"
Suzuki: "Valentino Rossi, Rio de Janeiro, moto Grand-Prix, Brazil 2002"

Razred pada u histeriju a nastavnica u nesvest, na vrata upada upravnik
škole: "U pi*ku materinu, još nikad nisam vidio takav haos!!!"

Suzuki: " Mirko Cvetković, premijer Srbije, ministru finansija prilikom
predstavljanja novog državnog budžeta , godine 2010, Beograd"

 :P :P :P :P :P

 :P :P :P :P :P :P :P
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Како ти се звао отац? -Хусеин. Његов отац? -Кемал. Чији је Кемал? -Шефкин. Даље? -Шефик Ибров, Ибро Рушидов, Рушид Екрем, Муслија, Адем и Алија! Даље? -Нема даље! -Нема даље, последњи је Алија! Ко је родио Алију? -Одкуд знам, опет неки Хусеин, Кемал! -Није. -Него ко? -Њега су родили Цвјета и Спасоје Југовић. А ако кренеш назад сретаћеш само оваква имена: Вељко, Милош, Душан, Видак, Војак...

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Svedok stvaranja istorije

Izgledas mi kao lutkica iz Trsta ;)

Zodijak Gemini
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What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you were forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.

----

What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
- The fridge doesn't fart when you pull your meat out

----

What do nike and the kkk have in common? They both make black people run fast.

----

A little boy wakes up in the middle of the night and walks into his parents room and sees them having sex. The little boy, traumatized, runs out of the room crying. "You should go check on him, thats really going to be something you need to explain," said the mother. The father laughed it off with a traditional "he will get over it," and continued to chuckle about the whole situation.
After some additional prodding from the mother the father agrees to go talk to the little boy. As he is walking down the hallway to his sons room he hears an empty thumping sound coming from his sons room. Thump - Thump - squish - Thump- Thump The father, very confused, slams the door open and sees his son balls deep, pounding the shit out of his grandmothers asshole. Just really going to town on it.
The father screams "What the hell are you doing?" The boy replies, "It's not so funny when its your mom, is it?"

----

My wife being unhappy with my mood swings brought me one of these mood rings so she could monitor my mood. We discovered that when I am in a good mood it turns green and when I am in a bad mood it leaves a big fucking red mark on her forehead

----

Lady in labour, shouting the usual shit, "Get this out of me! Give me the drugs!" She turns to her boyfriend and says, "You did this to me, you fucker!" He casually replies, "If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse, but you said, 'fuck off it'll be too painful.'"

----

why are trees so close in the ghetto? Public transportation.


What's white on top and black on bottom? Society
What's black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

----

Disabled toilets. Ironically, the only toilets big enough to run around in.

----

What do you call an Indian dating service?
Connect the Dots.

----

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."

----

What does a redneck girl say the first time she has sex? "Get off me, Daddy! You're crushing my Marlboros."

----

Knock Knock
(Who's There?)
9/11
(9/11 Who?)
You said you would never forget...

----

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS

(trebalo mi je malo vremena, al' kad sam konačno skapirao, iskidao sam se.  :mrgreen: )

----

If you have sex with a prostitute without her permission, is it rape... or shoplifting?


----

Don't bother sending your children's toys to Africa.
Can you imagine how depressing it must be for those kids to receive a Tamagotchi that's going to outlive them?


xD  :P

----

So this guy goes to Australia for a tourist trip and on the border they ask him if he had ever stayed in jail or had been arrested. So he says: " I did not know that was still required"

----

What would you call the Flinstones if they were black?
A: The Niggers.

----

Did anyone else think that Mel Gibson's remake of the 'Life of Brian' wasn't nearly as funny as the original?

----

A black man, an Arab man, and an Asian man walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get the fuck out!"

----

A black baby dies and goes to heaven. God gives it a pair of wings.
"God! God! Am I an angel now?" the baby asks. God replies, "Nah nigger, you a bat!"

----

How do you know if you have a high sperm count? When your wife has to chew before she swallows.
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You sharpen the human appetite to the point where it can split atoms with its desire; you build egos the size of cathedrals; fiber-optically connect the world to every eager impulse; grease even the dullest dreams with these dollar-green, gold-plated fantasies, until every human becomes an aspiring emperor, becomes his own God...
...and where can you go from there? 

OPERATION: Smile
12 MAR 2012 | 16 MAR 2012
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You'll never see me fall from grace

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What do nike and the kkk have in common? They both make black people run fast.

why are trees so close in the ghetto? Public transportation.
нигер џоукс ... олвејз фани ...  :P :P :P
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It's all a fucking joke anyway


       Tim: You never say please. You never say thank you.
Frank: Please don't be an idiot. Thank you.
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Svedok stvaranja istorije


Zodijak
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Zastava Ту негде...
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 :P
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Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

Zodijak Gemini
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Lady in labour, shouting the usual shit, "Get this out of me! Give me the drugs!" She turns to her boyfriend and says, "You did this to me, you fucker!" He casually replies, "If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse, but you said, 'fuck off it'll be too painful.'"

Citat
So this guy goes to Australia for a tourist trip and on the border they ask him if he had ever stayed in jail or had been arrested. So he says: " I did not know that was still required"

Citat
What's white on top and black on bottom? Society
What's black on top and white on bottom? Rape.
Odlicni. :P :P :P :P



Citat
A little boy wakes up in the middle of the night and walks into his parents room and sees them having sex. The little boy, traumatized, runs out of the room crying. "You should go check on him, thats really going to be something you need to explain," said the mother. The father laughed it off with a traditional "he will get over it," and continued to chuckle about the whole situation.
After some additional prodding from the mother the father agrees to go talk to the little boy. As he is walking down the hallway to his sons room he hears an empty thumping sound coming from his sons room. Thump - Thump - squish - Thump- Thump The father, very confused, slams the door open and sees his son balls deep, pounding the shit out of his grandmothers asshole. Just really going to town on it.
The father screams "What the hell are you doing?" The boy replies, "It's not so funny when its your mom, is it?"
A ovaj je van svake konkurencije.  :mrgreen:
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"Oni koji su vešti u borbi, ne obuzme ih bes. Oni koji su vešti u pobedi, ne obuzme ih strah.
 Zato mudri pobeđuju pre borbe, dok se neznalice bore da bi pobedili"
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Poznata licnost


create...destroy...enjoy!

Zodijak Cancer
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jezivo :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
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Edit by chelavi1: Potpis uklonjen zbog duzine!
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Počni novu temu Nova anketa Odgovor Štampaj Dodaj temu u favorite Pogledajte svoje poruke u temi
Trenutno vreme je: 04. Apr 2020, 07:57:23
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