"Two Little Hitlers"

   
Why are we racing to be so old?
I'm up late pacing the floor
I won't be told
You have your reservations
I'm bought and sold

I'll face the music
I'll face the facts
Even when we walk in polka dots and chequer slacks

Bowing and squawking
Running after titbits
Bobbing and squinting
Just like a nitwit

[Chorus:]
Two little Hitlers will fight it out until
One little Hitler does the other one's will
I will return
I will not burn
Down in the basement

I need my head examined
I need my eyes excited
I'd like to join the party
But I was not invited
You make a member of me
I'll be delighted

I wouldn't cry for lost souls, you might drown
Dirty words for dirty minds
Written in a toilet town

Dial me a Valentine
She's a smooth operator
It's all so calculated
She's got a calculator
She's my soft touch typewriter
And I'm the great dictator

[Chorus]

A simple game of self-respect
You flick a switch and the world goes off
Nobody jumps as you expect
I would have thought you would have had enough by now

You call selective dating
For some effective mating
I thought I'd let you down, dear
But you were just deflating

I knew right from the start
We'd end up hating
Pictures of the merchandise
Plastered on the wall
We can look so long as we don't have to talk at all

You say you'll never know him
He's an unnatural man
He doesn't want your pleasure
He wants as no one can
He wants to know the names of
All those he's better than

[Chorus]

I will return
I will not burn
[Repeats]

"(What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love And Understanding"

   
As I walk through
This wicked world
Searchin' for light in the darkness of insanity.
I ask myself
Is all hope lost?
Is there only pain and hatred, and misery?

And each time I feel like this inside,
There's one thing I wanna know:
What's so funny 'bout peace love & understanding? Ohhhh
What's so funny 'bout peace love & understanding?

And as I walked on
Through troubled times
My spirit gets so downhearted sometimes
So where are the strong
And who are the trusted?
And where is the harmony?
Sweet harmony.

'Cause each time I feel it slippin' away, just makes me wanna cry.
What's so funny 'bout peace love & understanding? Ohhhh
What's so funny 'bout peace love & understanding?

So where are the strong?
And who are the trusted?
And where is the harmony?
Sweet harmony.

'Cause each time I feel it slippin' away, just makes me wanna cry.
What's so funny 'bout peace love & understanding? Ohhhh
What's so funny 'bout peace love & understanding? Ohhhh
What's so funny 'bout peace love & understanding?

"My Funny Valentine"

   
My funny valentine, sweet comic valentine
You make me smile with my heart
Your looks are laughable, unphotographable
But you're my favourite work of art
Is your figure less than Greek?
Is your mouth a little weak?
When you open it to speak
Are you smart?
Don't change a hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay little valentine, stay
Each day is Valentine's day

"Tiny Steps"

   
Muscle baby won't let go
Weekend baby won't say no
Is she an active beauty ?
I should say so
Wooden bones and pretty lashes
Iodine for your baby's gashes
Little tombs for your baby's ashes
If something goes wrong

Tiny steps almost real
Tiny fingers you almost feel
Make her walk or make her kneel
Oh, she's almost human beneath that Cuban heel

Who's that down at the bottom of the garden ?
Who's that hiding underneath the sofa ?
Who gets blamed whenever you're in trouble ?
She's your friend and she's your double

Tiny steps almost real
Tiny fingers you almost feel
Make her walk or make her kneel
Oh, she's almost human beneath that Cuban heel

Pretty little fashion face
Pick anyone up off the shelf
Though you say it's a disgrace
You know you owe it to yourself
You can even shop around
Though you won't find any cheaper
She's your baby now
You can keep her

Tiny steps almost real
Tiny fingers you almost feel
Make her walk or make her kneel
Oh, she's almost human beneath that Cuban heel

"Clean Money"

   
Payday's coming and we wash it away
Clean money, clean money
Payday's coming and we wash it away
Clean money, clean money
That's what I want to do
I want to spend it on you
Checking on a checkmate
Grassing on a classmate
So beautiful and fortunate
He hates to love, you love to hate
He can fix you for good
'Cause he is the neighborhood
You can't get money for blood
Blood money for doin' no good
But they won't take my love for tender

Payday's coming and we wash it away
Clean money, clean money
Payday's coming and we wash it away
Clean money, clean money
That's what I want to do
I want to spend it on you

Have you made your selection ?
Are you ready for correction ?
'Cause the wages of sin
Are an expensive infection
And it's under the counter
Under the Geiger counter
Who stole your thunder ?
But they won't take my love for tender

"Talking In The Dark"

   
I tried in vain to drive myself insane
I talk to myself but I don't listen
I found out what I was missing
I miss talking in the dark
Without you, I'm not conversational
Without the sense of the occasional
Without you, I miss talking in the dark
When the barking and the biting is through
We can talk like we're in love or talk like we're above it
We can talk and talk until we talk ourselves out of it

I look for the news, somebody to abuse
I look at myself but it's so chancy
I see things that I don't fancy

I miss talking in the dark
Without you, I'm not conversational
Without the sense of the occasional
Without you, I miss talking in the dark
Without you, I miss talking in the dark

"Wednesday Week"

   
The movies save on conversation
And the TV saves on sight
We met in a head-on collision
So I would say our chances would be slight
You can lead and I will follow
See us dancing cheek to cheek
You'll remember me tomorrow
But you won't give a damn by Wednesday Week
Say you love me until you do so
Joso singing just like Caruso
Three little words roll off your tongue
Somehow your face just doesn't look so young
You say you want to strike a bargain
Now there is no need to speak
You say you want to learn the jargon
But you won't give a damn by Wednesday Week
You start acting like a zombie
Someone wants your piece of cake
You think you want to jump up on me
But you won't give a damn by Wednesday Week

Oh what a letdown when the battle was finally won
One little breakdown and then it was over and done
I wish I had your confidence
It's love and not coincidence
Do you say these words to everyone ?
You're fantastic, you're terrific
Your excellence is almost scientific
You took the words out of my mouth
You put the tongue into my cheek
But I'd better lose my memory by Wednesday Week

"Alison"

   
Oh it's so funny to be seeing you after so long, girl.
And with the way you look I understand
that you are not impressed.
But I heard you let that little friend of mine
take off your party dress.
I'm not going to get too sentimental
like those other sticky valentines,
'cause I don't know if you've been loving somebody.
I only know it isn't mine.
Alison, I know this world is killing you.
Oh, Alison, my aim is true.

Well I see you've got a husband now.
Did he leave your pretty fingers lying
in the wedding cake?
You used to hold him right in your hand.
I'll bet he took all he could take.
Sometimes I wish that I could stop you from talking
when I hear the silly things that you say.
I think somebody better put out the big light,
cause I can't stand to see you this way.

Alison, I know this world is killing you.
Oh, Alison, my aim is true.
My aim is true.

"Watching The Detectives"

   
Nice girls not one with a defect,
cellophane shrink-wrapped, so correct.
Red dogs under illegal legs.
She looks so good that he gets down and begs.

[Chorus:]
She is watching the detectives.
"ooh, he's so cute!"
She is watching the detectives
when they shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot.
They beat him up until the teardrops start,
but he can't be wounded 'cause he's got no heart.

Long shot of that jumping sign,
Visible shivers running down my spine.
Cut the baby taking off her clothes.
Close-up of the sign that says,"We never close"
You snatch a tune, you a match a cigarette,
She pulls the eyes out with a face like a magnet.
I don't know how much more of this I can take.
She's filing her nails while they're dragging the lake.

[Chorus]

You think you're alone until you realize you're in it.
Now fear is here to stay. Love is here for a visit.
They call it instant justice when it's past the legal limit.
Someone's scratching at the window. I wonder who is it?
The detectives come to check if you belong to the parents
who are ready to hear the worst about their daughter's disappearance.
Though it nearly took a miracle to get you to stay,
it only took my little fingers to blow you away.

Just like watching the detectives.
Don't get cute!"
It's just like watching the detectives.
I get so angry when the teardrops start,
but he can't be wounded 'cause he's got no heart.
Watching the detectives.
It's just like watching the detectives.

"Love For Tender"

   
You won't take my love for tender
You can put your money where your mouth is
But you're so unsure
I could be a miser or a big spender
But you might get much more than you bargained for
Check in on a checkmate
Grassing on a classmate
So beautiful and fortunate
You're the one who hates to love
But he's the one who loves to hate
He can fix you all for good
Because he is the neighbourhood
You can get money for blood
Blood money for doing no good

Better tell me now, have you made your selection?
Are you ready for correction?
Cause the wages of sin are an expensive infection
It'll make you bankrupt
Better pay up now, don't interrupt
So in love, I'm so sincere
Just like a well-known financier
You know I've never been corrupt

I'll pay you a compliment
And you'll think I am innocent
You can total up the balance sheet
And never know if I'm a counterfeit
You won't take my love for tender...