Damned If I Do

I'm gonna sign my name
to full confession.
It seems the woman I loved last night
belongs to another man.
They like to take you home;
they like to purr and tease you.
but I'm a passionate man,
and I couldn't leave her alone.
'Cause you are damned if you do,
damned if you don't;
damned if you will,
damned if you won't.
Sometimes they look so good,
but don't you let'em deceive ya.
'Cause then you find out that they got
some kind of a venomous mind.
And the thing that's worse
is that it all seems worth it.
I'm still a passionate man,
and she wouldn't leave me alone.
If you think that being a stud is easy,
well, now don't ask me, boys;
I wouldn't know.
I'm a little slow.
And you are damned if you do,
and damned if you don't;
you are damned if you will,
and your damned if you won't.
If you think that being a stud is easy,
well, now don't ask me, boys;
I wouldn't know.
I'm a little slow.
Gonna sign my name
to full confession.
It seems the woman I loved last night
belongs to another man.
They like to take you home;
they like to purr and tease you.
and I'm a passionate man,
and I couldn't leave her alone.
'Cause you are damned if you do,
damned if you don't;
damned if you will,
damned if you won't.
damned if you do,
damned if you don't;
damned if you will,
damned if you won't.
I'll be damned

You And Me

When I got home from work
I wanna wrap myself around you
I wanna take you and squeeze you
'till the passion starts to rise.
I wanna take you to heaven
that would make my day complete
but you and me ain't movie stars
what we are is what we are
we share a bed some lovin' and t.v. yeah.
That's enough for a workin' man
what I am is what I am
and I tell you babe
well that's enough for me.
Sometimes when you're asleep and
I'm just starin' at the ceiling
I wanna reach out and touch you
but you just go on dreamin'.
If I could take you to heaven
that would make my day complete
but you and me ain't movie stars
what we are is what we are
and I tell you babe
well that's enough for me.
You and me ain't no superstars
what we are is what we are
we share a bed some popcorn and t.v. yeah.
And that's enough for a workin' man
what I am is what I am
and I tell you babe
well that's enough for me.
When I got home from work
I wanna wrap myself around you
I like to hold you and squeeze you
'till the passion starts to rise.
I wanna take you to heaven
that would make my day complete ...

King Of the Silver Screen

By day I'm a workin' man,
layin' bricks or layin' pipe.
I don't stand out in a crowd;
just look like one of the guys.
Little do they know,
when I'm alone in bed at night,
I become the King of the Silver Screen.
I stare at the ceiling there;
I know where I belong.
I two step with Fred Astaire or
fighting old King Kong.
I can be any hero at all;
Zorro or Don Juan.
I know I'm the King of the Silver Screen.
Hollywood movies keep flashin' across my mind.
I could've been Valentino if I was born in another time.
I might be solving a case or swinging from a tree. Share a joke with Crosby and Hope; we're such good friends, you see.
Even dazzle the Academy with my versatility.
'Cause I'm the King of the Silver Screen.
Hollywood movies keep flashin' across my mind.
I could've been Errol Flynn
if I was born in another time.
I could've been a star.
I could've been a star.
I could've played that part.
But Hollywood movies keep flashin' before my eyes.
I could've been Greta Garbo
if I was born in another time.
I wake the very next day
go on back to work.
I'm just a face in a crowd;
another average jerk.
And all the guys on the building site look at me flirt.
Because I'm the Queen of the Silver.
Recitation...
Yes, I'm the Queen of the Silver Screen.
I admit it to all my fellow workers.
I don't care any more. I'm tired of closets.
I'm gonna eat my makeup for lunch today.
Just stop hittin' me again. All right guys?
I'm going to Hollywood to be a starlet.
I know I'm 240 pounds and play center
for the Detroit Lions.
I don't care any more.
I like makeup and dresses and Hollywood.
I'll make somebody a great little wife.
"Frankly, Scarlet, I don't give a damn."

Ubangi Stomp

Well, I rocked over Italy and I rocked over Spain.
I rocked in Memphis;
it was all the same
till I rocked to Africa.
I rolled off the ship.
I seem them natives doin' an odd looking skip.
I parted the weeds
and I looked over the swamp,
and I seen them cats doin' the Ubangi Stomp.
Ubangi Stomp is a rock and roll.
It beats anything that's ever been told.
Ubangi Stomp, Ubangi style;
when it kicks,
it drives a cool cat wild.
Well I looked up the chief;
he invited me in.
He said, "A heap big jam session's 'bout to begin."
I grabbed up a tom and I picked up the beat.
That crazy thing sent
shivers to my feet.
I rocked and I rolled
and I skipped with a smile.
I did the Ubangi Stomp with a Ubangi style.
Well, we rocked all night and part of the day.
Had a good, rock-in' time
with the chief's daughter Mae.
I'm makin' good time and I'm gettin' in the know when the captain said, "Son, we've gotta go." I said, "That's all right.
You go right ahead.
I'm gonna Ubangi Stomp till I roll over dead."
Ubangi Stomp is a rock and roll.
It beats anything that's ever been told.
Ubangi Stomp, Ubangi style;
when it kicks,
it drives a cool cat wild.
Ubangi Stomp, thank you.

(No More) Love At Your Convenience

Your childish game is over now.
Lost your power over night some how.
Better see it ain't gonna be like it used to be.
No more love at your convenience.
No more love at your command.
No more love at your convenience.
Lots of time late at night, I really needed you.
I'm telling you tonight's the night.
Close your mouth;
turn off the light.
Pull me babe.
Pull me down closer on you.
No more love at your convenience.
No more love at your command.
No more love at your convenience.
Lots of time late at night, I really needed you.
I really needed you.
I really needed you.
No more love at your convenience.
No more love at your command.
No more love at your convenience.
Quit your tears and dry your eyes.
You know I hate to see you cry.
Don't you see,
things gotta be what they got to.
No more love at your convenience.
No more love at your convenience.
No more love at your convenience.
No more love at
me.
And oh, that music,
I hate those lyrics.
It stayed inside me so long.
And I swear to you I never wrote that song.
But pardon me,
I'm not lookin' for sympathy,
Not sympathy.
I'm just thinking out loud.
the melody,
it goes nowhere pointlessly.
Silence please.
I been livin' in my own shell so long...
the only place I ever feel at home.
And oh, that music,
I hate those lyrics.
It stayed inside me so long.
And I swear to you I never.

I Never Wrote Those Songs

My tape recorder
It must be lyin'
'Cause this I just can't believe
I hear a voice that's cryin'
That's not me

The wheel goes round
I hear a sound
It's comin' out all wrong
And I swear to you I never wrote that song

I been livin' in my own shell so long
The only place I ever feel at home

And oh, that music
I hate those lyrics
It stayed inside me so long
And I swear to you I never wrote that song

But pardon me
I'm not lookin' for sympathy
Not sympathy
I'm just thinking out loud
The melody
It goes nowhere pointlessly
Silence please

I been livin' in my own shell so long
The only place I ever feel at home

And oh, that music
I hate those lyrics
It stayed inside me so long
And I swear to you I never

My God

If I should find myself in blackest night,
and fear is stabbin' me all over,
a tiny prayer cracks the dark with light,
and I here sounds behind my wall.
Inside, a still, small voice, it calls and calls.
Then like a thunder bolt,
it falls and falls...
My God!
When life becomes more real than children's games,
or we've become too old to play them,
We'll grow old gracefully,
we'll hide our shame.
but there's that voice behind the wall.
And like my conscience,
it is still and small.
Each word is mercy,
protects us all...
My God!
"And like my conscience, it is still and small.
Each word is mercy, protects us all..."
I was a boy,
when tempted,
fell sometimes,
and fell so low,
no one could see me,
save for the eyes of Him that sees my crime.
When sheep,
like me, have drifted lost,
all frightened children who are tempest tossed, down flies His wrath like an albatross...
My God!

From The Inside

[Alice Cooper / Bernie Taupin / Dick Wagner / David Foster]

I got lost on the road somewhere
Was it Texas or was it Canada
Drinking whiskey in the morning light
I work the stage all night long
At first we laughed about it
My long haired drunken friends
Proposed a toast to Jimmy's ghost
I never dreamed that I would wind up on the losing end

I'm stuck here on the inside looking out
I'm just another case
Where's my makeup where's my face on the inside

All got your kicks from what you saw up there
Eight bucks even buys a folding chair
I was downing seagrams on another flight
And I worked that stage all night long
You were screaming for the villain up there
And I was much obliged
The old road sure screwed me good this time
It's hard to see where the vicious circle ends

I'm stuck here on the inside looking out
That's no big disgrace
Where's my makeup where's my face on the inside

Wish I Were Born In Beverly Hills

[Alice Cooper / Bernie Taupin / Dick Wagner]

She looked so sleek and sassy
Rolling down Rodeo Drive
She got her daddy's black Corniche
And her tennis pro by her side

And she wants her mother's lover
To exercise her skill
And if she don't score him fast
She knows that her brother will

Oh I wish I were born in Beverly Hills
I swear I couldn't drink half as much as she spills
I want to live it up get my kicks and thrills
Be a gigolo lover and send her the bills

She says that she's an actress
Just never got a part
Now she's a teenage mess
With a burned out Gucci heart

She cracked one day at Cartier
When things came to a head
They put her trinkets away
And wrapped her up instead

Oh I wish I were born in Beverly Hills
I swear I couldn't drink half as much as she spills
I want to live it up get my kicks and thrills
Be a gigolo lover and send her the bills

She bit like a dog and she screamed like hell
"You ain't taking me to no padded cell
You better take all your hands off my high priced tail"

Oh I wish I were born in Beverly Hills
I swear I couldn't drink half as much as she spills
I want to live it up get my kicks and thrills
Be a gigolo lover and send her the bills

The Quiet Room

[Alice Cooper / Bernie Taupin / Dick Wagner]

The California air
Your nightgown on the stairs
I remember every night
Scenes from home in the Quiet Room

How long have I been gone
Did winter kill the lawn
And all those polaroids you sent
Are on the wall in the Quiet Room

They've got this place
Where they've been keeping me
Where I can't hurt myself
I can't get my wrists to bleed
Just don't know why
Suicide appeals to me

The Quiet Room
Is sterilized and white
It's like a tomb
With just a moth stained naked night

Plastic forks and spoon
No laces in my shoes
They allknow what I tried to do
Outside the Quiet Room

This quiet place
It ain't so new to me
It's haunted atmosphere
Has heard so many scream
My home from home
My twilight zone
My strangest dream

My confidant
I have confessed my life
The Quiet Room
Knows more about me than my wife

They've got this place
Where they've been keeping me
Where I can't hurt myself
I just can't
I just can't get these damn wrists to bleed

A mattress on the floor
No handles on the door
I really need nothing here
I'm alone