"Marrow"

the answer came like a shot in the back while you
were running from your lesson, which might explain why years later all you
could remember was the terror of the question. plus, you weren't listening
hard, you were stockpiling canned goods and making a bomb shelter of our
basement. and i can't believe you let the moral go by while you were soaking in
the product placement. and where was your conscience? where was your
consciousness? and where did you put all those letters that you wrote to
yourself but could not address? yeah, i'm a good kisser, and you're a fast
learner, and that kind of thing could float us for a pretty long time. and
then one day, you'd realized you've memorized my phone number, and you'll
call it and find it's a disconnected line. cuz i got tossed out the window of
love's el camino and i shattered into a shower of sparks on the curb. you
were smoking me weren't you between your yellow fingers, you just inhaled and
exhaled without saying a word. where was your conscience? where was your
consciousness? and what did you do with all those letters you wrote to
yourself but could not address? there's a smorgasbord of unspoken poisons,
the whole childhood of potions that are all bottled up, and so one by one i
am dusting off labels, i am uncorking bottles and i am filling up cups. go
ahead and have a taste of your own medicine. here i'll have a taste of mine,
but first lets toast to the lists that we hold in our fists of the things
that we promised to do differently next time. cuz the answer came like a shot
in the back while you ran from your lesson which might explain why years
later all you could remember the terror of the question. cause i'm not listening
to you anymore. my head is too sore and my heart's perforated and i am mired in the marrow of my
"well ain't that funny?" bone, learning how to be alone and
devastated. where was my conscience? where was my consciousness? and where
do i put all these letters that i wrote to myself but could not address?

"O.K."

if you ask me
i'll say
yes please
to you today
so don't ask me
cuz i'm weak that way
just don't ask me
o.k.

i'm so glad we got that
straightened away

if you see me
walk by
you better just let me
walk by
you better not
bat your pretty eyes
you better not
stop me to say hi

i got a sweet tooth today
so you better not cut that pie

if you ask me
i'll say
yes please
to you today
so don't ask me
cuz i'm weak that way
just don't ask me
o.k.

"Rock Paper Scissors"

it's rock paper scissors as to whether i will get over you at all. it's
hand against hand and both hands are mine. it's standing in a circular line,
which is not to say that i'm not also happy. a happy meal with a surprise
inside. surprise, surprise is another bright light in my eyes, exposing all
the stuff i'm not calculating enough to hide. this melancholy that i carry
makes me feel so grown up at the kitchen table doing shots of resignation. i
never thought i'd see the day when i would i say i give up and tame the
stallions of my wildest expectations. but i do not want to know you this way,
surrounded by so much pain. but how am i supposed to let go of you this way,
like a bird into the sky of my brain? i think i could accept all these dark
colors as just part of some bigger color scheme if it wasn't for that drippy
string quartet of sadness underscoring each smiling scene. yeah desire drags
me right out of myself like a gas soaked rope tied to a piece of coal. and i'm
getting pretty good at looking at the bright side while the flames ripple on
the sand and swallow me whole. but this melancholy that i carry makes me feel
so grown up at my kitchen table doing shots of resignation. i never thought
i'd see the day when i would say i give up and break the stallions of my
wildest expectations. but i do not want to know you this way surrounded by so
much pain/ but how am i supposed to let go of you this way like a bird into
the sky of my brain.

"Tamburitza Lingua"

a cold and porcelain lonely
in an old new york hotel
a stranger to a city
that she used to know so well
bathing in a bathroom
that is bathed in the first blue light
of the beginning of a century
at the end of an endless night

then she is wet behind the ears and wafting down the avenue
pre-rush hour
post-rain shower
stillness seeping upwards like steam
from another molten sewer
summer in new york

they've been spraying us with chemicals in our sleep
us / they
something about the mosquitoes having some kind of disease
them / me
CIA foul play
if you ask the guy selling hair dryers out of a gym bag
chemical warfare
"i'm telling you, lab rat to lab rat," he says, "that's where the truth is at"
that's where the truth is at
that's where the truth is at

and everything seems to have gone terribly wrong that can
but one breath at a time is an acceptable plan
she tells herself
and the air is still there
and this morning it's even breathable
and for a second the relief is unbelievable
and she's a heavy sack of flour sifted
her burden lifted
she's full of clean wind for one lean moment
and then she's trapped again
reverted
caged and contorted
with no way to get free
and she's getting plenty of little kisses
but nobody's slippin' her the key

her whole life is a long list of what ifs
and she doesn't even know where to begin
and the pageantry of suffering therein
rivals television
tv is, after all, the modern day roman coliseum
human devastation as mass entertainment
and now millions sit jeering
collectively cheering
the bloodthirsty hierarchy of the patriarchal arrangement

she is hailing a cab
she is sailing down the avenue
she's 19 going on 30
or maybe she's really 30 now ...
it's hard to say
it's hard to keep up with time once it's on its way

and, you know, she never had much of a chance
born into a family built like an avalanche
and somewhere in the 80s between the oat bran and the ozone
she started to figure out things like why
one eye pointed upwards looking for the holes in the sky
one eye on the little flashing red light
a picasso face twisted and listing down the canvas
of the end of an endless night

10 9 8 seven six 5 4 three 2 one
and kerplooey
you're done.
you're done for.
you're done for good.
so tell me
did you?
did you do
did you do all you could ?

"What How When Where (Why Who)"

what what what what what did you think you were doing?
how how how how how did you think this would go?
when when when when when you showed up on my radar
where where where where where did you think you would show?
what what what what what do you make of this station
how how how how how it pulls away from the train?
when when when when when if at all will you realize
where where where where where do and done are the same?
what what what what what now you're out in the open
how how how how how do you think you can hide?
when when when when when will you find some nice soft sand
where where where where where you can bury your pride?
what what what what what do you want from this lifetime?
how how how how how does your story line flow?
when when when when when you finally get to the punch line
where where where where where will the applause sign go?

and why why why why why don't you just take your bow
cuz who's gonna love you now?

"Whatall Is Nice"

today we are only whatall is nice about us
today we turned on in the blue light of dawn
and made love

and you were not a dot dot dot
waiting for me to complete you
and it was like i just forgot
to measure everything that i do

we woke up with the notion
that enough is not enough without more
and then we pushed with one motion
like the ocean heaves a wave at the shore

and you were not a dot dot dot
leaning forward expectantly
and i was not in such a rush
to insure my autonomy

today we are only whatall is nice about us

"Promised Land"

you're taking up lots of space
your shit is everywhere
your breath is all up in my face
your hands are swarming in the air

you're the first one out the car
and then the loudest one in the bar
tell me is there something wrong
girlfriend, what's with this new version of who you are

so she lifts her chin and
squints at me
to assess what I think I know
she says my heart has some dangerous neighborhoods
so beware where you try to go

and they say that the truth will set you free
but then again, so will a lie
it depends if you're trying to get to the promised land
or if you're just trying to get by

what is a camera but a box of light
what is a guitar but a box of sound
you think I don't understand
I think I might

what it is to
to harvest the emptiness
and just ride it around

and maybe your chest is an empty shell
with ribs of spiraling coral
where a perfect pearl of sadness resides
but if you ever need it here
I could come and press it there
and I could listen to the sound of the ocean inside

"In The Way"

no you didn't just leave
I actually kicked you out
I couldn't hardly believe
that the words came out my mouth
you couldn't hardly believe
what you heard yourself discuss
and you packed up all your things
and you said goodbye to us

tell me what is in the way
in the way of my love for you?
tell me what is in the way
in the way of my love for you?
hafta get it outta of the way of my love
hafta get it outta of the way of my love

and now there's nothing left to lose,
and the screen just says "Fini"
and each night in separate rooms
we cry separately
and every day we yell
down each other's holes
two slippery strippers
swinging round two poles

tell me what is in the way
in the way of my love for you?
tell me what is in the way
in the way of my love for you?
yeah there's something in the way of my love for you
yeah there's something in the way of my love

so we took down all the pictures
and then we took down all the walls
packed up our expectations
piled them in the hall
yeah we bagged our future
kicked it to the curb
and then we stood there unencumbered
and we stood there undeterred
cause we were done clinging
to the things we were afraid to lose
and the only thing left
was a breathtaking view
you looked at me
and I looked at you
and we said, "How about now,
"what you wanna do?"

now there's something in the way
in the way of my love for you
now there's something in the way
in the way of my love for you
I have to get it out the way
out the way of my love for you
I have to get it out the way
out the way of my love for you

no you didn't just leave
no you didn't just leave
no you didn't just leave
no you didn't just leave

"Icarus"

seems like you just
started noticing
how noticably bad things really are
and when you walked past this couple arguing
in a rolled up window
of a parked car
and all of that
gesticulated bitterness
and all of that
muffled yelling hell
its dark just starts wafting at you
like a big fury rat died
inside of that wall kinda smell

breathe like it's rolling like a cold front
thunder is thundering and lightening in tow
and your tiny little life gets
even smaller
as you heed the heaven's mighty show

and I don't mean heaven
like god-like
the animal in me knows very well
nature is our teacher, our leader, and our lover
and god is just another story that we tell

and you're trying not to grasp-not to start grasping
at straws -or sticks- or stones
just learn how to sit inside your sadness
even if you're sitting there alone

it's just like Icarus ascending
never intending to look back
nature's law and your tragic flaw
I find descending
flying into the arms of a Venus flytrap

guzzle till the buzzer stops
guzzle till the buzzer stops
guzzle till the buzzer stops
guzzle till the buzzer stops
guzzle till the buzzer stops

"Slide"

she was hungry
so hungry
she was trying to think clear
she kept opening the fridge door
staring at the mustard and the beer

then finally she went out into the rain
carrying her bicycle chain
and her feet were the pedals
while her appetite steered
and after that she just followed her nose
and fate is not just
whose cooking smells good
but which way the wind blows

she lay down in her party dress
and never got up
needless to say
she missed the party
she just got sad
then she got stuck

she was bending
like something brittle
trying hard to bend
she was numb
with the terror
of losing her best friend
we never see things changing
we only see them ending

and some vicious whispering voice kept saying
you have no choice
you have....

'cause when I look at you I squint
you are that beautiful
and my pussy is a tractor
and this is a tractor pull
and I am haunted
by my illicit exquisite dream
but I can't really wake up
so I just drift in between
thinking the glass is half-empty
and thinking it's not quite full
the pouring rain is no place for a bicycle ride
try to hit the brakes and you slide
slide
slide
slide

the pouring rain is no place for a bicycle ride
try to hit the brakes and you
slide
slide
slide
slide
slide
slide
slide
slide
slide