Mail od  °~*Mî£ï©å*~°-e


>'Twas the night before Bozic and all through the kuca
>I sensed the smell of posna sarma and rakija vruca.
>By the dimnjak the opanci were hung kind-a krivo
>In hopes that Sveti Nikola would soon bring me some pivo.
>My Tata was in his soba and he was snoring pretty hard
>I guess he was tired from stealing the tree from my neighbor's
>backyard
>My Mama was in the basement cooking like a fool
>Adding just the right amount of Vegeta to her corba pasulj.
>When out on the lawn there arose such a galama
>My dad yelled from his room "Pa, sta je sa vama!"
>There was a knocking on the front door with such a loud barrage
>I yelled through the window "This is a Serbian house...come in
>through the garage!"
>Standing in the garage right next to my car
>Was my drunk Ujka Rade coming home from the bar
>"Ajde, idi spavaj" I told him with might
>Nobody was going to ruin my chances of seeing Deda Mraz tonight.
>About two hours later I heard a noise down the stairs
>I jumped from my krevet to see who was there.
>Standing by the tree and eating some leftover pizza
>Was good ol' Deda Mraz reeking of homemade sljivovica.
>He was all dressed in red and big as an ox,
>He wore some brown papuce along with black socks
>Smelling like a gipsy that's been drinking for days,
>He wasn't what I expected...I was actually amazed.
>"U picku materinu, kako mrzim ovaj posao," he said,
>And then I think he muttered something about his wife and how he
>wished she was dead.
>He started putting the presents under the tree with absolutely no
>desire,
>They were all wrapped up kinda shitty with the paper bags from
>Meijer's.
>A package of 12 carape for me and another pack of 12 for my brother,
>About 3 pairs of gace for my dad and a can of turska kafa for my
>mother.
>This Serbian Santa was crooked...he was nothing like the fable,
>I should've known it when he swiped my pack of smokes that I left on
>the table.
>I yelled out "Hej!" and Deda Mraz turned around like a car,
>He quickly took off one papuca and threw it at me like a ninja star.
>The look in his eyes was nothing but fright,
>He said "Ma, jebi se u dupe" and dashed out of sight.
>Up through the dimnjak I heard a loud shriek,
>Deda Mraz had just farted like some wild bik.
>He got in his fijaker, specially made for hladne zime,
>And he yelled at his jelene, ime po ime.
>"Napred Marko i Bobane, Petre i Gorane,
>Hajde Jovan i Nenad, Pavle i Zoran..."
>And then he yelled, "Hajdemo brze, moramo poc',
>SRECNA NOVA GODINA i SVIMA LAKU NOC!!!"