Nagrade za period 1995 - 1998

POBEDNIK 1995: Tip je pokusavao da izvadi limenku, koja se zaglavila u soda-masini. Kada nije uspeo, iznervirao se, i poceo je da sutira masinu. Nakon jednog jaceg udarca, aparat se srusio pravo na njega i ubio ga na mestu.

POBEDNIK 1996: U Arizoni, patrolna policiska kola su nasla gomilu spljeskanog metala zalepljenog za zid stene naspram jedne ostre krivine na putu. Prvo su pomislili da to sruseni avion ali se ispostavilo da je u pitanju bio automobil. Nakon duzeg labaratoriskog ispitivanja, konacno su uspeli da rekonstruisu ceo dogadjaj. Izgleda da je vozac tog automobila, bivsi narednik, nekako dosao do JATO jedinice. To je u stvari raketa na cvrsto gorivo koja teskim vojnim transportnim avionima pomaze da lakse uzlete. Tip je tako vozio svog Sevroleta Impalu kroz pustinju i naisao na dugacak, prav deo puta. Onda je zakacio JATO na svoj auto, uskocio i opalio raketni motor. Kako su utvrdili, isao je negde izmedju 350 i 400 km/h kada je naisao na smrtonosnu krivinu. Kako su se kocnice jos ranije bile istopile (ocigledno od silnog kocenja), kao metak se zabio u stenu i poginuo na licu mesta.

POBEDNIK 1997: Dzon Perniki i Sal Havkins su poginuli dok su pokusavali da se uvuku na koncert Metalike koji se odrzavao u amfiteatru Gorge u Vasingtonu. Posto nisu imali karte, a nakon 18 piva, odlucili su da sa kamioneta preskoce 2,5 metara visoku ogradu i tako dodju na koncert. Dva genijalca su dovezla kamionet do ograde i plan je bio da Dzon, 50 kila tezi nego Sal, preskoci ogradu a onda pomogne drugaru. Nazalost, Dzon je prevideo da je sa druge strane ograde provalija duboka 15-ak metara. Tako, nakon sto se preskocio preko ograde, Dzon je poceo da pada kroz krosnju drveta, koje je stajalo uz ponor, i srecom se gacama zakacio za jednu granu. Viseci sa drveta, Dzon je ispod sebe video zbunje i odlucio da se oslobodi, racunajuci da ce rastinje da ublazi pad. Izvukao je svoj dzepni noz i poceo da sece lastis na gacama. Kad je najzad uspeo, Dzon se survao sa drveta i pao pravo u zbunje. Ostro granje ga je celog izgrebalo a sad, posto nije vise imao gace, jedna od grana iz grmlja mu se zabila u rektum. Da stvar bude jos gora, prilikom pada je ispustio noz koji mu se zabio u levu butinu. Videvsi kako njegov drug vristi od bola, Sal je odlucio da mu dobaci konopac i tako ga izvuce. S obzirom na Dzonovu tezinu, Sal je pomislio da bi bilo najpametnije da druga izvuce pomocu kamioneta. Medjutim, posto je bio u pijanom stanju, Sal je ubacio kamion u pogresnu brzinu. Tako, kad je pritisnuo papucicu za gas, kamionet je jurnuo u rikverc, proleteo kroz ogradu i pao niz liticu pravo na Dzona, ubijajuci ga na mestu. Prilikom toga Sal je ispao iz kamiona i poginuo. Kada je policija stigla zatkla je smrskan kamionet i 50 metara dalje njegovog mrtvog vozaca. Kad su pomerili vozilo, nasli su polu golog coveka sa brojnim ogrebotinama, nozem u butini, stabljikom od zbuna u dupetu i gacama na 10m visokoj grani drveta.

POBEDNIK 1998: U Japanu se medju lakse oblike zavisnosti ubraja i "napumpavanje". Vecina "pumpasa" koristi standardne pumpe za bicikle, tako sto vrh gurnu u rektum i pocnu da pumpaju, sto stvara lep osecaj. Medjutim Sarnaci Pacasima je otisao dalje od drugih. Prvo je poceo da koristi dvocilindarne pumpe, ali mu cak ni to nije bilo dosta. Tako se, 16. aprila, nocu prisunjao vazdusnom kompresoru za gume, na obliznjoj benzinskoj pumpi. Ne shvatajuci snagu te masine, gurnuo je crevo duboko u rektum i ubacio novcic. Lokalne vlasti tvrde da jos uvek nisu pronasli sve Pacasimine delove.

 

"Who Wants Summa This?"

2004 Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed True by Darwin

(10 November 2004, Wales) Kebab-eating amateur rugby player Gareth, 22, was a bit wobbly after a pub crawl with his friends. His flat was filled with men and women when he pulled down his pants and waddled over to the window, shouting "Who wants summa this?" to the empty street below. A friend grabbed him before he could fall out the window.
In the morning when they awoke from their drunken stupor, Gareth admitted it was a pretty stupid thing to do. But that didn't stop the determined Darwin Award candidate from successfully trying again.

The very next night, with his blood-alcohol level at four times the legal limit, just short of lethal intoxication, he pulled down his pants again and waddled over to the open window, shouting "Who wants summa this?" Nobody was near enough to grab him this time. A girlfriend told the Aberystwyth coroner's court that he bent forward and went out the window, hands flailing. Gareth was found outside, impaled on a spike fence below.

 

Surprise Attack Surprise

2005 Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed True by Darwin

(3 January 2005, St. Maurice, Switzerland) It was the first week of a weapons refresher course, and Swiss Army Grenadier Detachment 20/5 had just finished training with live ammunition. The shooting instructor ordered the soldiers to secure their weapons for a break.
The 24-year-old second lieutenant, in charge of this detachment, decided this would be a good time to demonstrate a knife attack on a soldier. Wielding his bayonet, he leaped toward one of his men, achieving complete surprise.

But earlier that week, the soldiers had been drilled to release the safety catch and ready their guns for firing in the shortest possible time. The surprised soldier, seeing his lieutenant leaping toward him with a knife, snapped off a shot to protect himself from the attack.

The lesson could not have been more successful: the soldier had saved himself and protected the rest of the detachment from a surprise attack. The lieutenant might have wished to commend his soldier on his quick action and accurate marksmanship. Unfortunately, he had been killed with one shot.

 

Uteshne nagrade

Cetiri osobe su povredjene u nizu bizarnih dogadjaja. Seri Miler je zadobila povrede glave od padajuce cigle, Tim Vegas je izlomio grudi, ruke i lice, Brajan Korkoran je zavrsio sa iskidanim desnima a Pameli Klesik su odgrizena prva dva prsta desne ruke. Nesreca je pocela kada je Miler odvezla svog muza na posao i, pored uobicajenog oprostajnog poljubca, pokazala svoje grudi na par sekundi (kao stimulaciju). Sve to je gledao taksista Tim Vegas, izgubio je kontrolu nad kolima i proleteo kroz izlog zubarske ordinacije. Unutra je Klesik, zubni tehnicar, cistila Korkoranove zube. Sudar ju je iznenadio, i ona je poskocila, deruci Korkoranove desni iglom za ciscenje. Ovaj je u soku stisnuo zube odgrizavsi zubarki dva prsta. Miler se povredila kada je sa ordinacije, od siline udara, otpao deo fasade.

Zena je otisla u Centar za kontrolu otrova, nakon sto je progutala 3 vaginalna umetka za kontrolu radjanja. Posto nije znala engleski, doktorima je morala da nacrta sta se desilo. Kasnije je dosao prevodilac, i sve se razjasnilo. Meri Valiskov je mislila da su umetci neka vrsta slatkisa, posto nije umela da procita natpis na omotu. Nakon treceg je shvatila da nesto nije u redu jer su usta pocela da joj se pune gorkom penom. Odmah je otrcala u Centar, gde su doktori uspeli da joj isperu usta i grlo bez povreda

Takoma u saveznoj drzavi Vasington - Keri Bingam je bio pio sa prijateljima kada je jedan od njih rekao da zna osobu koja je skocila sa bandzi konopcem sa Takoma Nerouz mosta u samom spicu saobracaja. Razgovor je postajao sve zagrejaniji dok na kraju najmanje 10 ljudi nije marsiralo trotoarom mosta. Bilo je 4.30 ujutro. Po dolasku na sredinu mosta otkrili su da niko nije poneo bandzi konopac. Bingam, koji je bio nastavio da pije, dobrovoljno se prijavio pokazavsi na kotur sa kablom koji je bio ostavljen blizu ograde. Jednim krajem su Bingamu vezali nogu, a drugi kraj je vezan za most. Bingam je padao 15 metara pre no sto se kabl zategao i iscupao mu stopalo iz zgloba. Cudom je preziveo pad u ledenu vodu reke i bio spasen od strane dvojice obliznjih ribara. "Sve sto mogu da kazem je da me je Bog cuvao te noci. Jednostavno nema drugog objasnjenja za to". Bingamovo stopalo nikad nije pronadjeno.

U Gatriju u Oklahomi, u oktobru, Dzejson Hek je pokusao da ubije stonogu iz svoje puske kalibra 22, ali je metak rikosetirao o kamen u blizini rupe i udario Antonija Martineza u glavu, prouzrokujuci frakturu lobanje.

U Eliriji u Ohaju, u oktobru, Martin Eskins je odlucio da za ciscenje paucine iz podruma svoje kuce umesto metle upotrebi propanski plamenik, cime je zapalio kucu tako da su izgoreli i prvi i drugi sprat.

The Nuisance of Seatbelts

2005 Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed True by Darwin

(5 January 2005, Nebraska) In September of his senior year at the University of Nebraska, 21-year-old Derek wrote an impassioned declaration of independence from seatbelts for his college newspaper, concluding, "If I want to be the jerk that flirts with death and rides around with my seat belt off, I should be able to do that." After all, these "intrusive and ridiculous" laws saved a mere 6,100 lives a year, according to statistics from the U.S. Congress.
Derek's father told the Lincoln Journal-Star that he "was a bright young boy, a 4.0." He was majoring in five subjects and planning to attend law school. He was also smart enough to tutor his friends in subjects he didn't even take.

Derek spent the holidays in San Antonio, Texas, returning to Lincoln in January. The driver of the Ford Explorer and another friend were in the front seats. Unwilling to buck the system, they both wore seatbelts. Derek was in the back seat, possibly reminding his friends, in the words of his newspaper column, "There seems to be a die-hard group of non-wearers out there who simply do not wish to buckle up no matter what the government does. I belong to this group."

Around 3 a.m. the SUV hit a patch of ice, slid off Interstate 80 and rolled several times in a ditch. Derek, in an involuntary display of his freedom from regulation, was thrown from the vehicle. He died at the scene. His friends, slaves to the system, survived with minor injuries. Police said that alcohol was not involved in the accident.

 

Stepping Out

[2004 Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed True by Darwin

(12 April 2004, Netherlands) Certain land animals have evolved over the millennia to use speed in the pursuit or prey or avoidance of predators. The cheetah (Acinonyx jubatus) can run as fast as 60 mph over the plains of Africa, and the pronghorn antelope (Antilocapra americana) can reach 55 mph over the plains of North America. Humans (Homo sapiens) are not among these animals built for speed. The very fastest human can achieve a maximum sprint of 16 mph for short distances.
So things were bound to go wrong when a 19-year-old male, driving the A67 highway near the Dutch town of Blerick, sought to impress his two passengers by putting his car on cruise control at 20 mph, getting out of the car, and running alongside it. He planned to jump back in and drive on, but the moment his feet hit the ground, he fell over and slammed headfirst into the asphalt. He was admitted to the hospital with severe brain damage, and died the next day.

 

Uteshne nagrade

Pol Stiler (47) je u septembru zavrsio u bolnici u Andover Taunsipu u Nju Dzersiju, a njegova zena Boni je takodje povredjena od cetvrt stapa dinamita koji je eksplodirao u njihovim kolima. Dok su se vozikali okolo u dva sata ujutro, od dosade su zapalili dinamit i pokusali da ga bace kroz prozor da vide sta ce se desiti, ali su ocigledno prevideli da je prozor bio zatvoren.

U Betuliji, u americkoj saveznoj drzavi Kolumbiji, godisnji festival u novembru ukljucuje i pet dana amaterskih borbi sa bikovima. Ove godine nijedan bik nije ubijen, ali je tuce matadora povredjeno, ukljucujuci jednog sa probodenom glavom. Jedan ucesnik je izjavio: "To je samo jedan bik protiv vas i grada od hiljadu morona".

51-ogodisnji covek je zamalo umro nakon sto je pokusao da se seksualno samozadovolji usisivacem. Tip nije znao da se u cevi usisivaca nalazi propeler, tako da je izgubio nekih centimetar-dva sa vrha penisa. Doslo je do velikog gubitka krvi, ali doktori su uspeli da mu spasu zivot sto se, na zalost, ne moze reci i za penis, koji je ostao 'okrnjen'.

U seoskoj oblasti Carbon Contrya, PA, grupa ljudi je sedela na zadnjoj terasi kuce Irvinga Majklsa (27), pila pivo i raspravljala o oruziju. Kada je preko obliznje livade pretrcao rakun, ljudi su potegli oruzije i poceli da pucaju. I pored 35 hitaca ispaljenih na nju, jadna zivotinja je nekako uspela da pobegne i da se uvuce u obliznju, pola metara siroku drenaznu cev. Resen da likvidira rakuna, Majkls je odlucio da zapali malo benzina u cevi, nadajuci se da ce dim da istera zivotinju. Nakon nekoliko bezuspesnih pokusaja paljenja benzina, Majkls je sipao i poslednji kap u cev i jos nije bilo rezultata. Ne zeleci da se pomiri sa cinjenicom da ga je priroda pobedila, Majkl se bauljajuci uvukao neka 4 metra duboko u cev misleci da tamo zapali sibicu. Medjutim velika kolicina benzina koju je sipao stvorila je vatrenu loptu, koja je Majkla ogromnom brzinom izbacila iz cevi istim putem kojim je i usao. Pre nego sto je pao u prednje dvoriste, nekih 100m dalje od mesta eksplozije, Irving je preleteo preko svojih zapanjenih prijatelja koji su izjavili da je Majkl leteo toliko brzo da je njegov vrisak stvorio doplerov efekat. Zvuci neverovatno, ali pretrpeo je samo manje povrede, i samim tim ispao iz konkurencije za Darvinovu nagradu.

What I Can Still Do

2005 Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed True by Darwin

(16 January 2005, Florida) Two North Fort Myers residents, 23-year-old Molly and her husband, had rented a room in a local motel for some unspecified activity, perhaps involving perpetuation of the species. As Molly entered the second-floor room, she went straight for the lanai, which overlooked a concrete patio. Most guests would have seen the railing on the edge of the lanai as a safety feature, but for Molly it brought to mind fond memories of her youthful gymnastic abilities.
Molly called out to Todd, "Watch to see what I can still do." These would be her last words. She did a flip onto the railing for a handstand, just the way she used to do, then toppled over the other side, slamming into the patio 15 feet below. She was pronounced dead at the hospital.

 

Damned if You Do...

2004 Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed True by Darwin

(6 September 2004, Romania) A Pitesti man with a metal ring stuck on his penis was being sought by doctors, after he fled the hospital consumed by panic.
The unidentified 42-year-old claimed he had put the ring on his penis after losing a bet during a drinking game at a pub. He was subsequently unable to remove the ring. Embarrassment kept him from seeking immediate medical help, but after two days, unbearable pain overcame unbearable shame, and he took his smelly and discolored penis in for treatment.

Doctors told him that gangrene had set in, and his life was in danger. The blood supply had been cut off for too long, and there was nothing they could do but remove his penis, so that the necrosis did not spread to the rest of his body.

The manhunt was ongoing. "There is no way he can escape going under the knife," said a doctor. "He must come back to the hospital and accept this." The man’s only consolation is a guaranteed Darwin Award, one way or the other!

 

Workin' at the Car Wash

2003 Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed True by Darwin

(29 January 2003, Brazil) At work, Manoel Messias Batista Coelho was responsible for cleaning out the storage tanks of gasoline tanker trucks. He had been employed in that capacity for two months when he ran afoul of fuel.
The 35-year-old began to fill a tanker with water, a standard safety procedure that forces flammable vapor out of the container. He returned an hour later to check whether the water level was high enough to proceed. But he had trouble deciding, because it was so DARK inside the tanker.

A resourceful employee, Manoel forgot the very reason why he was filling the tank with water when he lit a cigarette lighter to shed some light on the situation. His little test successfully determined that the water level was NOT yet high enough for safety. The vapor explosion launched him through the air, and he landed in the company parking lot 100 meters away.

Manoel suffered severe burns, blunt force trauma, and an injury to the head that exposed his brain. Our witless car washer had learned his terminal lesson in safety by the time the firemen arrived.