"The Flag"

The phone rings, it's early, it's seven o'clock.
He says sorry I woke you, but I just had to talk
You know last night, remember when I tried to choke you?
I didn't mean it, I was drunk, it was only a joke.
You should know that by now,
when the chequered flag comes down,
no one no one no one has won the race.

The next night he's over and over and under
and after he's finished she lies there and wonders
just why does she need him and why does she stay here
and then in the darkness she'll quietly say Dear,
you've never really known that when the white flag is flown,
no one no one no one has won the war.

They're complicated people
leading complicated lives,
and he complicates their problems
by telling complicated lies
He tells her he's sorry, she tells him it's over,
he tells her he's sorry, she says over and over
You've never really known that when the white flag is flown,
no one no one no one has won the war.

There goes a forest and there goes a bluebird
There goes a partridge and there goes a Go Train
There goes an angel and there goes a steeple
There goes a cop car and there goes an eagle
There goes a raven and there go the ribbons
There goes a raven and there go the ribbons
There goes a raven and there go

The ribbons the ribbons the ribbons
The ribbons of the flag.

"If I Had A $1,000,000"

If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I'd buy you a house (I would buy you a house)
If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I'd buy you furniture for your house
(Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)
If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I'd buy you a K-Car (a nice Reliant automobile)
If I Had $1000000 I'd buy your love.

If I Had $1000000
I'd build a tree fort in our yard.
If I Had $1000000
You could help, it wouldn't be that hard.
If I Had $1000000
Maybe we could put a tiny fridge in there somewhere
([Talking:] We could just go up there and hang out.
Like open the fridge and stuff, and there'd be foods laid out for us
With little pre-wrapped sausages and things. Mmmmm.
They have pre-wrapped sausages but they don't have pre-wrapped bacon.
Well can you blame them. Yeah)

If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I'd buy you a fur coat (but not a real fur coat that's cruel)
If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I'd buy you an exotic pet (Like a llama or an emu)
If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I'd buy you John Merrick's remains (All them crazy elephant bones)
If I Had $1000000 I'd buy your love

If I Had $1000000
We wouldn't have to walk to the store
If I Had $1000000
We'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more
If I Had $1000000
We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner.
(But we would eat Kraft Dinner. Of course we would, we'd just eat more.
And buy really expensive ketchup with it.
That's right, all the fanciest Dijon Ketchup. Mmmmmm.)

If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I'd buy you a green dress (but not a real green dress, that's cruel)
If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I'd buy you some art (a Picasso or a Garfunkel)
If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I'd buy you a monkey (haven't you always wanted a monkey?)
If I Had $1000000 I'd buy your love

If I Had $1000000, If I Had $1000000
If I Had $1000000, If I Had $1000000
I'd be rich.

"Crazy"

I climb the walls of my mind just like I'm climbing on a jungle gym
I am more than content with the
state of mind I am in
'cause I am crazy just like you
I am crazy just like you.

I don't think I need a rubber room,
but hey, that might be nice
I'm not a manic depressive paranoid or schizophrenic
so I don't need your advice.
I am crazy just like you
I am crazy just like you.

The lights are on but nobody's home
my elevator doesn't go to the top
I'm not playing with a full deck
I've lost my marbles
The lights are on but nobody's home
my elevator doesn't go to the top
I'm not playing with a full deck
I've lost my marbles.

I'm a few bricks short of a load,
but a full load always hurt my back.
I flew over the cuckoo's nest and
I'm never ever coming back because
I am crazy just like you
I am crazy just like you.
I am crazy.

"Intermittently"

Someone somewhere has unglued our epoxy
And now I'm kissing you by proxy
Hope you don't mind
Somewhere someone is dreaming of me
Tries to love me, hope you don't mind

I love you
Intermittently
I love you intermittently

She's a lot like you but she don't look like you
Okay, she's not you
But she'll do fine
I got my life on hold just to avoid confrontation
But should I tell you to your face and
Risk my hide?

I love you
Intermittently
I love you intermittently
When immeasurably
Turns to intermittently
There's no use in going on
Except for fear of being wrong
Every morning I just hit the ground yawning...
Stick around if you enjoy disaster
'Cause if you can't see what I'm after
You must be blind

I love you
Intermittently
I love you intermittently

Didn't have the heart to say goodbye
So I continued in my charlatan ways
Did I say heart?
I meant to say guts
Now I'm on my own and I'm sorry that you're gone

"These Apples"

A friend brought me flowers, she said they were lilacs
But I've never been good with plants
Her next presentation, a new dictionary
She'd circled the word "romance"

So enthusiastic, a little bit drastic
I shaved her name in my head
And as she beheld it, she said I misspelled it;
Need more be said?

[Chorus:]
These apples are delicious!
"As a matter of fact they are," she said
Can all this fruit be free?

She wrote me a letter as big as a phonebook
I've never been big on mail
I sent her a postcard from somewhere near Lethebridge
And wondered if it still went by rail

I've never been frightened of being enlightened
But some things can go too far
Though sometimes I stammer and mix up my grammar,
You get what my meanings are

[Chorus]

I'm not trying to sing a love song - I'm trying to sing in tune.
I know I am sometimes headstrong
Falling love, catching fire - I want to be consumed
Wondering will I ever tire, will I ever tire??

[Chorus]

"You Will Be Waiting"

As we walk together through the autumn, nearing winter
Through the dying leaves and trees we call our home and native land,
You say you don't believe a thing I say, I say you don't believe a thing
You say you can't believe how I don't understand

[Chorus:]
But I Know
That you will be waiting
Oh I know
That you will be waiting
Oh I know
You Will be waiting
Waiting there for me

You say you cannot live with me, you need your own identity
And now we air our laundry on national TV
And so you hate my arrogance, my smothering and sitting on the fence,
But I'm afraid of the hard permanence of letting you go free

[Chorus]

I'm so sick of fighting and that effigy you're lighting looks
An awful lot like whose name I just can't quite place
And though you say it's not supposed to be me or any entity
Still through the flames and smoke I see I recognize that face

[Chorus]

And you were someone who would
Always tell me things I don't know,
And tell me where to go
But there I'll always go
Whether or not you're waiting
I don't care if you'll be waiting
But please say that you will be waiting there for me

"A"

A is for angry, which is what you are at me
A is for adult, which is what I'll never be
A is for applesauce, my favorite meal
A is for Adam, which is how I sometimes feel;
Like I'm the only man on Earth, and I've forgotten what that's worth
A is for Arthur, he's a lovable drunk
A M & Azing, like Thelonius Monk
A is for argument, A is for apparent
A is for antagonism that's not even there and
it's just you begging for attention or something I won't even mention

[Chorus:]
And I don't even know why you keep on trying
Like I don't even know why I keep on lying
There are millions of people in worlds of their own
And two of them can't let go

A is for algebra, I learned it in school
A is what Fonzie said, 'cause he was very cool
A is for adversary, A is for affection
A is arousal, you are giving me an erection
C'mon I'm trying to show affection for longer than a half an hour

[Chorus]

I met a woman I used to know
Long before you, long ago
All I could say, after hello
Was "are you still single?"
A is for attitude I can't help but wield
A is for arrogance; emotional shield
A is for acting, A is for abhorrently
A is for asshole, which is what I am, how rude of me.
I owe you an apology I'm sorry

[Chorus]

"Everything Is New Again"

Learn to lose, it's easier that way
We've paid our dues, but we can't make life pay
All across the world, people going mad
In their mother's cars, the kids are feeling sad
That's how it is, and I'll see you later

Everything old is new again
Everything under the sun
Now that I'm back with you again
We hug and we kiss
We sit and make lists
We drink and I bandage your wrists

Wasted youth -- there wasn't much to waste
Down to the bone, and still losing weight
With all the wishing in the world glistening in her eyes
But when I say I love her, she thinks I'm telling lies
Is it all lost? No, we never had it

Everything old is new again
Everything under the sun
All of our fears come true again
Recycle reuse
Resent and refuse
Our parent's ideals and view

She thinks the afterlife might just be where the action is
With high schools built like prisons, she can't find a way to live
Moved back home to fill the empty nest
Afraid to roam, in love with second best
While somewhere in the world, she's hosting her own show
And everyone she questions never seems to know
Everything old is new again
Who they are and where they are going

Everything under the sun
Now that I'm without you again
I wake up and eat
I go back to sleep
And let my nightmares repeat

All across the world, people going mad

"Am I The Only One?"

Am I the only one who gets to make you laugh,
Laugh until you cry?
Am I the only one who asks you to go,
Go on without me?
Am I the only one who loves when you leave
your hair down in front of your eyes?

[Chorus]
And who do you think I am?
And who do you think I'll be without you?

Am I the only one who had to dress you up
To see how you fell down?
Am I the only one who needs you to go,
Go on about me?
Am I the only one who loves when you leave
your hair down in front of your eyes?

[Chorus]

"Little Tiny Song"

Hey I'm a cow, I'm curious
Hey watch me now, I'm furious
Hey I'm a cow, I'm full of hate
Hey watch me now, I'm on your plate