1. In lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex
with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations
with a
male animal is
punishable by death. (like that makes sense. )

2. In bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a
woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during
the
examination. He may only
see their reflection in a mirror. (makes you hope you
never need surgery! )

3. Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of
a corpse. This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the
deceased
must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times. (a brick? ? )

4. The penalty for masturbation in indonesia is
decapitation. (whoa! )

5. There are men in guam whose full time job is to
travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the
privilege of having sex for the first time. . . Reason: under guam law, it
is
expressly forbidden for virgins to marry. (let's just think for a
minute; is
there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this? )

6. In hong kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to
kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The
husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.
(ah! Justice! )

7. Topless saleswomen are legal in liverpool, england
- but only in tropical fish stores. (but of course! )

8. In cali, colombia, a woman may only have sex with
her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the
room
to witness the act.
(makes one shudder at the thought. )

9. In santa cruz, bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a
woman
and her daughter at the same time. (this was a big enough problem that
they
had to pass this law? )

10. In maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines
with
one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine
only
"in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the
premises. "
(is this a great country or what? . . . Not as great as guam, though! ! )

A woman awakes during the night to find that her
husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes
downstairs to look for him.

She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup
of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep
thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he
wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his
coffee.

"What's the matter, dear?", she whispers as she steps
into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of
night?". The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you
remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you
were only 16?" he asks solemnly. "Yes I do" she
replies.

The words not coming easily. "Do you remember when
your father caught us in the back seat of my car
making love?" "Yes, I remember" says the wife,
lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues. "Do you remember when he shoved
the shotgun in my face and said, either you marry my
daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?" "I
remember that too" she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says, "I
would have gotten out today".

Training for Women

Women think they already know everything, but wait...
training courses are now available for women on the
following subjects:

1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has
Gone Before
2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits
3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits
4. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the
Bathroom Cabinet too
5. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His!
6. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort,
not the First
7. Communication Skills II : Thinking Before
Speaking
8. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want  
Without Nagging
9. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire
10. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up
11. Introduction to Parking
12. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space
13. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully
14. PMS: Your Problem . . . Not His
15. Classic Footwear: Wearing Shoes You Already Have
16. Oil and petrol: Your Car Needs Both
17. TV Remotes: For Men Only