You are always late, even to be born.
You live with your parents, even if you are married.
Everyone is sure you are Greek or Italian.
You are a fan of whatever basketball team Vlade Divac is on.
You base your whole life on the fortune in your coffee cup.
You are a girl but your parents, who cannot remember your name, insist on calling you "son".
Your mom makes you eat warm food at least three times a week.
Your granny cannot accept the fact that you are just not hungry.
You use Plum brandy to cure all illnesses, celebrate all occasions, and...as a massage lotion.
You celebrate Christmas, Easter and New Years two weeks after everyone else.
You are unemployed yet your main job is to badmouth the President and the Coach of the national football (soccer) team saying you would "do their job much better if you were them."
Jest, da je na engleskom, al ko razume, razume.

Your grandma says that PROMAJA will kill you