YOU KNOW YOU ARE A SERB WHEN...          

- Your parents have a shot of RAKIJA for breakfast.

- Even if you're a girl, your parents (who can't remember your name) call
you (and all of your siblings) "SINE".

- Your mother insists you must eat something with 'KASIKA' at least three
times a week.

- 'RAKIJA' is used to cure all illnesses, celebrate all occasions, and as
massage lotion.

- You celebrate Christmas, Easter and New Years two weeks after everyone
else.

- At your birthday everyone sings "EPPY BRZDAY TO YU!"

-  When your Baba will not accept the fact that you're just not hungry.

- Half of your family suffers from the 'ZELUDAC' syndrome

-  When your 'BASHTA' contains a variety of peppers, onions and tomatoes.

- When your parents constantly say you'll end up a nobody if you don't
graduate from University (heehe!!)

- You go to a restaurant and your parents say that you can wait to have
dessert at home.

- Whenever you go to your BABA's house, she offers you SUPA, SARMA,
PECENJE or KOLACE and gets upset when you don't eat EVERYTHING.

- A cake or KOLAC just isn't complete without a pound of sugar and ORASE.

- You are at a ZABAVA and the guys try picking up by asking, 'Hey
baby,what's your SLAVA?'

- All other action stops when you hear the music of 'BOZE PRAVDE' OR
'SPREMTE SE, SPREMTE'.

- Everyone is sure you are Greek or Italian.

- You know you are a Serb when you are a fan of whatever basketball team
Vlade Divac is on.

- When your mom calls you 'STOKA'.

- You can always smell garlic on your parents' breath and they insist it
kills all bacteria.

- When your walls are crowded with icons of saints.

- You have a Kosovka Devojka 'goblen' on the wall.

- You live with your parents until you are married.

- There's a slab of fat in your fridge called 'SLANINA'.

- Your parents still prefer to buy tapes rather than CDs.

- Your mum has a whole pharmacy in her medicine cabinet.

- You know you are a Serb when your parents think everything is a conspiracy...

They will kill us all , all I tell ya