# Operator! Give me the number for 911!

# Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

# Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!

# Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

# I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

# Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

# Well, it's 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.

# Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.'

# Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.

# Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?

# You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.

# Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

# When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!

# Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.

# I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!

# [Meeting Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!

# What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.

# Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.

# Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

# The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!

# When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.

# I'm having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not going to Church!

# Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.

# I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?

# Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

# It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.

# Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

# I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.

# Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that.

# Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that Alligator biting that woman's bottom? That's right, we all thought it was hilarious. But, it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harrassing that woman.

# Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.

# How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

# Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

# Homer no function beer well without.

# I've always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is -- and it's me.

# Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?

# If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English.

# I'm never going to be disabled. I'm sick of being so healthy.

# I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.

# [Looking at a globe map...country being Uruguay]
Hee hee! Look at this country! 'You-are-gay.'

# All my life I've had one dream, to achieve my many goals.

# Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless.

# But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.

# I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.

# Dear Lord.. The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal.

# That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!

# Beer: The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

# If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing

# I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!

# 'To Start Press Any Key'. Where's the ANY key?




prevod:
• Centrala! Dajte mi broj za 911!
• Barte, sa 10.000$ bili bismo milioneri... Mogli bismo da kupimo razne korisne stvari kao... ljubav!
• Ako me nije briga, to ne znači da ne razumijem!
• Nisam od onih koji se mole, ali ako si gore, molim te spasi me, Supermene!
• Sine, ako stvarno želiš nesto u životu, moraš da radiš za to. Sad ćuti! Objavljuju brojeve izvučene na lotou.
• Dakle, 1h je posle ponoći. Bolje da odem kući i provedem malo vremena sa djecom.
• Mozda će me, makar jednom, neko nazvati „Gospodine“ bez nastavka „Pravite scenu“ (’glupirate se’ je, po meni, prirodnije).
• Mardž, nemoj da obeshrabruješ ovog dječaka. Izvlačenje od obaveza je važna stvar koju mora da nauči. To je ono što nas odvaja od životinja! Osim od lasica.
(igra rijeci; weasel – lasica, takodje: izvuci se)
• Krofne... Postoji li išta što one ne mogu da urade?
• Znate, momci, nuklearni reaktor je kao žena... Treba samo da pročitate uputstvo i pritisnete pravo dugme.
• Lisa, ako ne voliš svoj posao, ne protestuj... Idi svaki dan na posao i otaljavaj ga. To američki način.
• Kada ću naučiti? Odgovori na životne probeme ne nalaze se na dnu flaše, nalaze se na televiziji!
• Sine, kada učestvuješ u sportskim događajima, nije važno da li dobijaš ili gubiš: bitno je koliko se napiješ!
• Idem na zadnje sjedište mog automobila sa ženom koju volim, i neću se vraćati deset minuta!
• [posjeta vanzemaljaca] Molim vas, nemojte da me pojedete! Imam ženu i djecu... Pojedite njih!
• Šta će nam psihijatar? Znamo da su nam djeca luda.
• Mardž, lijepa si kao Princeza Leia i pametna kao Yoda!
(Princess Leia i Yoda – likovi iz onog đubreta „Star Wars“)
• Djeco, dali ste sve od sebe i mnogo ste se razočarali. Lekcija je – nikad ne pokušavajte.
• Jedini monstrum ovdje je kockarski monstrum koji je zarobio vašu majku. Ja ga zovem Gamblor, i vrijeme je da zgrabim vašu majku iz njegovih neonskih kandži!
(Gamblor – izmisljena rijec kojom Homer naziva ’zlog kockarskog demona’)
• Kada vidim osmijehe na svim dječijim licima, jednostavno znam da će me nečim ubosti (ili ’udariti’).
• Danas mi je najbolji dan u životu i dužan sam da ne idem u crkvu!
• Ja nisam loš momak! Vrijedno radim i volim svoju djecu. Zašto bih onda proveo pola nedjelje (Sunday) slušajući o tome kako ću otići u pakao?
• Izvući se od dužnosti porotnika veoma je lako. Fora je u tome da kažeš da gajiš predrasude prema svim rasama.
- Lisa, ako nas je Biblija nečemu naučila, a nije, to je da devojčice treba da se drže ženskih sportova, kao što su rvanje u ulju, boks zečica i tako to
- Ja nisam loš čovek! Naporno radim i volim svoju decu. Pa zašto da provedem pola nedelje slušajući kako ću otići u pakao?
- Izbeći dužnost u poroti je lako. Trik je da se kaže kao imaš predrasude prema svim rasama.
- Nije lako žonglirati između trudne žene i problematičnog deteta, ali sam nekako uspeo da uguram osam sati televizije dnevno.
- Lisa, vampiri su izmišljeni, kao vilenjaci, gremlini i eskimi.
- Hoću da nešto podelim sa vama: tri male rečenice koje će vas provući kroz život. Prva: Pokrivaj me. Druga: O, odlična ideja šefe! Treća: Bilo je ovako kad sam došao.
- O, pa ljudi mogu da naprave statistiku koja će sve dokazati, Kente. 14% ljudi to zna.
- Setite se razglednice koju nam je deda poslao sa Floride na kojoj Aligator napada zadnjicu one žene? Jeste, svi smo mislili da je to urnebesno. Ali ispostavilo se da nismo u pravu. Taj aligator je seksualno uznemiravao tu ženu.
- Starim ljudima ne treba društvo. Oni treba da budu izolovani i proučavani kako bi se ustanovilo koje hranjive sastojke možemo da iskoristimo za ličnu upotrebu.
- Kako obrazovanje može da me učini pametnijim? Osim toga, kad god nešto naučim, to izgura neke starije stari iz moje glave. Sećate se kad sam pohađao onaj kurs za kućnu proizvodnju vina i zaboravio da vozim?
- Televizijo! Učiteljice, majko, tajna ljubavnice.
- Homer funkcioniše piva loše bez.
- Uvek sam se pitao da li postoji Bog. Sada znam da ima - i da sam to ja.
- Da ubijem šefa? Usuđujem li se da živim taj američki san?
- Ako nešto krene loše u elektrani, okrivi lika koji ne govori engleski.
- Nikad neću biti nesposoban. Muka mi je više što sam tako zdrav.
- Volim da je pivo hladno, da je TV glasan i da su homoseksualci u plamenu
- (gleda na globusu Južnu Ameriku, tačnije Urugvaj) Hi hi! Pogledajte ovu zemlju! Ti-si-gej! (Igra reči Uruguay - U-are-gay)
- Ceo život imam samo jedan san - da postignem sve ciljeve.
- Tata, uradio si mnoge dobre stvari, ali ti si star čovek, a stari ljudi su beskorisni.
- Ali Mardž, šta ako smo izabrali pogrešnu religiju? Svaki dan samo ljutimo Boga sve više.
- Mislim da me je Smiters izabrao zbog mojim motivacionih sposobnosti. Svi kažu da rade mnogo više kada sam ja tu.
- Dragi Gospode... Bogovi su bili dobri prema meni. Po prvi put u mom životu, sve je apsolutno savršeno kako jeste. Zato evo predloga: ako zamrzneš sve onako kako jeste, ja neću tražiti ništa više. Ako je to u redu, molim te nemoj mi dati apsolutno nikakav signal... ... ... OK, dogovoreno.

svaka cast originalnim textopiscima