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Tema: Kako je Linus Torvalds postao Čak Noris  (Pročitano 2018 puta)
27. Jan 2009, 06:35:45
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Ali, kada bi Lunus Torvalds bio Čak Noris, kako bi to izgledalo:



Šta bi bilo kad bi bilo:

Linus Torvalds facts:

Linus Torvalds wasn't born. He was developed. By himself.

Since 1969, the year Linus Torvalds was developed (by himself),
software quality has increased 19.000 percent.

Linus Torvalds's first words were syscalls.

Linus Torvalds's DNA is in binary.

Linus Torvalds didn't learn from the University of Helsinki. The University of Helsinki learned from Linus Torvalds.

Linus Torvalds wasn't like the other students of University of Helsinki. He took notes in binary...

Linus Torvalds's first written program had artificial intelligence.

Linus Torvalds learned to program, and the computer printed HELLO WORLD by itself.

Linus Torvalds knows the question to 42.

Linus Torvalds finished the Linux kernel the day before he started on it.

Linus Torvalds's kernel never panics.

Linus Torvalds is registered Linux user #1.

Linus Torvalds didn't design Linux to run on the 386. Intel designed the 386 to run Linux.

Linus Torvalds already has Linux 3.0. He is just keeping it to himself to build suspense.

Linus Torvalds is not out to destroy Micro$oft. That will just be a completely unintentional side effect.

Linus Torvalds is taking over the world. Micro$oft is just a diversion so that no one would suspect a mild mannered Finnish programmer.

Linus Torvalds only has to enter a room, and every Windows computer in it segfaults instantly.

Linus Torvalds created recursion so that GNU would have something to occupy themselves while they wait for the HURD.

Linus Torvalds can cure carpal tunnel syndrome by touching infected people. He does not cure RMS because he thinks it's funny to listen to RMS
dictating code for the HURD.

Linus Torvalds's favorite joke is HURD.

Linus Torvalds rmmodded Richard Stallman's razors.

Linus Torvalds haunts Theo De Raadt in his dreams.

Linus Torvalds can touch MC Hammer.

Linus Torvalds doesn't worry about Micro$oft patent crap, he simply does "sudo mv /tmp/ms /dev/null".

Linus Torvalds won the Tanenbaum-Torvalds debate by reprogramming it.

Linus Torvalds does not sleep. He hacks.

Linus Torvalds doesn't wget. He wdemands.

Linus Torvalds can program effectively for long periods of time... without caffeine.

Linus Torvalds rarely gets angry. Because when he does, kernels everywhere begin to panic.

Linus Torvalds was considered as being old and stable at 24, but new and bleeding edge at 26.

Linus Torvalds once found a segmentation fault in the universe.

Linus Torvalds can delete the universe by typing rm -rf /.

Linus Torvalds can run emerge --update world, and the whole world will actually update!

Linus Torvalds is always right. sometimes even more than usual.

Linus Torvalds simply know better than you do.

Linus Torvalds has as much authority as the Pope. he just doesn't have as many people who believe it.

Linus Torvalds is real, unless declared Integer.

Linus Torvalds's ideas are always the best ideas and people who disagree with him are by definition crazy and probably butt-ugly. (until he changes his mind. Then they can suddenly become upstanding citizens. He is flexible, not black-and-white.)

Linus Torvalds's software contain all the design innovations possible to make. In addition to this, they even managed to make up a few of their own.

Linus Torvalds is the commonest definition of the word programmer

Linus Torvalds can execute x86 in his head.

Linus Torvalds can program using a scroll-wheel.

Linus Torvalds does not need a keyboard, the computer just knows what his needs are.

Linus Torvalds has a multi-core brain.

Linus Torvalds created apt by typing apt-get install apt.

Linus Torvalds sorts in O(1).

Linus Torvalds doesn't need to boot.

Linus Torvalds doesn't receive error messages.

Linus Torvalds doesn't use "sudo".

Linus Torvalds is more powerful than root.

Linus Torvalds doesn't need to mount his drives.

Linus Torvalds doesn't need backups. He just uploads his files and lets the world mirror them.

Linus Torvalds doesn't debug. his programs are always perfect.

Linus Torvalds's source codes compile themselves.

Linus Torvalds only has 2 buttons on his keyboard, '1' and '0'.

Linus Torvalds doesn't use the GCC. he writes binaries.

Linus Torvalds can program without a keyboard.

Linus Torvalds can write to NTFS.

Linus Torvalds can defragment an NTFS partition by hand.

Linus Torvalds can write to HFS+ with Journaling and case-sensitivity.

Linus Torvalds can manipulate bits on the harddrive with his mind (at 3200 YB/s).

Linus Torvalds doesn't need STDERR.

Linus Torvalds can install Gentoo in under a week.

Linus Torvalds is faster than Yoper.

Linus Torvalds can stop a BSOD... on Vista 64-bit.

Linus Torvalds surfs the web using nothing but netcat.

Linus Torvalds once developed a programming language so good that it makes Python look like punch cards.

Linus Torvalds writes new software, then he just makes punch cards with his teeth and feeds them into a reader.

Linus Torvalds has no sense of user interface design.

Linus Torvalds doesn't use a monitor. He can read the video signals from a VGA cable with his finger.

Linus Torvalds can instantly ROT-13 all text that he sees. twice.

Linus Torvalds has developed warp drive, sun destroying bombs and a ray that can teleport him a new sausage each day before he drinks his morning beer.

Linus Torvalds hacked physics so his car can go 50 000 kmph.

Linus Torvalds runs Linux on his wristwatch and toaster.

Linus Torvalds can install Linux on a dead badger.

Linus Torvalds doesn't need anti-virus software. Virii need anti-Linus software.

Linus Torvalds has a list of events that he allows to occur. It is commonly reffered to as "the theory of probability".

Linus Torvalds left and right hand are also known as "(" and ")".

Linus Torvalds doesn't push the flush toilet button, brush his teeth, shower or clean his house. He simply says "make clean".

Linus Torvalds has no dependencies.

Linus Torvalds doesn't wear glasses anymore. Not because he had laser eye surgery, but because he finally got his xorg.conf properly configured in his head.

Linus Torvalds has never used a backspace key before.

Linus Torvalds can determine whether an arbitrary program will terminate.

Linus Torvalds's alphabet cereal forms source code.

Linus Torvalds eats bug reports for lunch.

Linus Torvalds can still leave neutral or negative feedback to buyers on eBay.

Linus Torvalds can do an infinite loop in five seconds... in his head.

Linus Torvalds has counted to infinity. twice. both positive and negative infinity.

Linus Torvalds made the red pill.

Linus Torvalds is the one, and Linux is the Matrix.

Linus Torvalds is the kernel.

Linus Torvalds can enrich himself simply by chowning your bank account. He doesn't do this because there is no challenge in it.

Linus Torvalds can use a nice level lower than -20.

Linus Torvalds can run kill -9 and kill Chuck Norris.

Linus Torvalds programmed God in his own image.

Linus Torvalds doesn't pray to God. God prays to Linus.

Linus Torvalds doesn't read the man pages. he reads the God pages.

Linus Torvalds doesn't die, he simply returns zero.

Linus Torvalds can divide by zero.

Linus Torvalds once wrote a program that divides by zero.

Linus Torvalds's stream of conciousness is entirely in binary.

Linus Torvalds can play 3D games in his head by interpreting the source code in real-time.

Linus Torvalds played through Duke Nukem Forever. In 1998.

Linus Torvalds takes one look at your desktop and knows which porn sites you visited. In the last ten years.

Linus Torvalds scared A and B away. Consequently we program in C today.

Linus Torvalds wrote a progam that computed the last digit of pi.

Linus Torvalds solved Russell's paradox.

Linus Torvalds can solve The Halting Problem... in polynomial time.

Linus Torvalds can solve NP-hard problems in logarithmic time.

Linus Torvalds's computer's clock isn't synchronized with the world. The world synchronizes with Linus Torvalds's clock.

Bill Gates left his university to start Micro$oft. Steve Jobs sold his Wolkswagen bus to start Apple. Linus Torvalds made a new thread in a forum and put a file on a ftp server.

Izvor: KomBib
« Poslednja izmena: 27. Jan 2009, 06:43:46 od Crowz »
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