K
Such is life.
Who: Ned Kelly
That's very obvious. [Spoken in response to Mrs. Connolly's comment, "Mr. President, you can't say that Dallas doesn't love you."].
Who: John F. Kennedy
I'll be in Hell before you start breakfast!
Who: "Black Jack" Ketchum, notorious train robber, after springing up the gallows step to his execution; the rope was too short, and his head was pulled off by the noose.
I should have drunk more Champagne.
Who: John-Maynard Keynes
Minä elän.
Translation: I live.
Who: Aleksis Kivi

L
"I wish I was skiing." [Nurse: "Oh, Mr. Laurel, do you ski?"] "No, but I'd rather be skiing than doing what I'm doing."
Who: Stan Laurel, before dying of a heart attack
Beautiful.
Who: Timothy Leary He also is known to have repeatedly said "Why Not" with various inflections prior to this, and these are often reported as his final words.
Strike the tent.
Who: Robert E. Lee
I think I'm going to make it!
Who: Richard Loeb, half of the famous murderers Leopold and Loeb; said after being slashed ninety times with a razor by a fellow inmate
"I'm shot."
Who: John Lennon, after being shot by Mark David Chapman in front of Lennon's New York apartment building.
Allah, save this country! Pakistan zindabad!
Who Liaquat Ali Khan , first Prime Minister of Pakistan, spoke to the nation after being shot.
Translation: "Pakistan zindabad" means "long live Pakistan."
Don't let me die, I have got so much to do.
Who: Huey Long, "The Kingfish", American politician, Governor of and Senator from Louisiana

M
Boy, fetch my fiddle.
Who: Rob Roy MacGregor.
[Niece: "What is the matter, Uncle James?"] "Nothing more than a change of mind, my dear. I always talk better lying down."
Who: James Madison
Pardonnez-moi, monsieur.
Pardon me, monsieur.
Who: Marie Antoinette, said to the executioner after accidentally stepping upon his foot as she was about to be guillotined. Variant translation: Monsieur, I beg your pardon.
Go on, get out! Last words are for fools who haven't said enough!
Who: Karl Marx, asked by his housekeeper what his last words were
When I am dead, you will find Philip and Calais engraved on my heart.
Who: Mary I of England, related to her husband and the loss of Calais to France



It's all been rather lovely.
Who: John Le Mesurier, before slipping into a final coma.
It tastes bad.
Margaret Mitchell, upon being given a drink of orange juice while convalescing in a hospital
Shoot me in the chest!
Who: Benito Mussolini to his executioner.
But, but, Mr. Captain...
Who: Also attributed to Mussolini, just as he was shot by a partisan leader.
Well, this is certainly a pleasant surprise
Who: Andrew Mutton.
If you don't like it, you can just fuck off!
Who: Keith Moon, to his girlfriend, after requesting that she cook him steak for breakfast.
Don't make a mess of it - shoot straight you bastards.
Who: Harry 'Breaker' Morant
Note: Morant was courtmartialed and executed by the British, charged with killing Boer prisoners. To the end he claimed to have been following orders.
We all ge the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer. The poor get it in the winter.
Who: Bat Masterson

N
Thank God I have done my duty.
Who: British Vice Admiral Horatio Nelson; These are among the very last words Nelson is recorded to have uttered, but his actual last words are lost with no definite record. That Nelson said "Kiss me, Hardy" in his last hours, after being mortally wounded is extensively documented in contemporary accounts, including that of people actually present. That they were not his actual last words is also extensively documented, though not as clearly in many popular accounts, and they have commonly been mistaken as being his last words. (for more on this see: Talk:Horatio Nelson)
Sero. Haec est fides.
Translation: It is too late. This is fidelity.
Who: Nero, Roman emperor.
Some accounts also have his last words as being "What an artist that dies in me"

O
I am just going out. I may be some time.
Who: Lawrence Oates, on Scott's ill-fated Antarctic expedition, while suffering from frostbite and sheltering from a blizzard, Oates felt he was increasing his companions' chances of survival and he ended his life by leaving the tent.
¿Para qué? Estoy bien al nivel de los fusiles.
Translation: Why? I'm right at the height of the rifles
Who: Melchor Ocampo, Mexican politician, known for his anticlerical ideas
Ocampo was rounded up by conservative rebels and sentenced to death. He spoke these words after his executioner ordered him to kneel.
This isn't Hamlet, you know. It's not meant to go into the bloody ear.
Who: Lawrence Olivier supposedly said this when a nurse, attempting to moisten his lips, mis-aimed.

P
I will see you tomorrow if God wills it.
Who: Pope John Paul I, an hour before he died of a heart attack.
Hurry up, you Hoosier bastard, I could kill ten men while you're fooling around!.
Who: Carl Panzram, serial killer, shortly before he was executed by hanging.
I wasn't done.
Who: John (Jack) Whiteside Parsons, rocket scientist, occultist and self-proclaimed antichrist, after his injury in a lab explosion.
Drink to me!
Who: Pablo Picasso
Lord help my poor soul.
Who: Edgar Allan Poe
Me l'aspettavo.
Translation: I expected it to happen
Pino Puglisi, Italian priest shot by a Mafia assassin
Note: Pino Puglisi was reported to have smiled to his killer.

R
Je m'en vais chercher un grand peut-être.
Translation: I am off in search of the great perhaps.
Who: François Rabelais
Variant Translation: I am off in search of a great may-be.
Beati qui in domino moriuntur
Translation: Blessed are those who die in the Lord or Blessed are those who die wearing a cloak.
Note: Rabelais is also attributed these last words. He is said to have stated the quote, which is a Latin pun, after wrapping himself in his domino, a Spanish hooded cloak
I have a terrible headache.
Who: Franklin Delano Roosevelt, who died of a massive cerebral hemorrhage
Note: According to Conrad Black in his biography Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Champion of Freedom, page 1110, FDR was sitting for a portrait when he put his left hand to the back of his head and said: "I have a terrific pain in the back of my head." He then was carried to his bed by several people, as they were doing this "he was understood by Laura Delano to say, only semiconsciously, 'Be careful.' These were his last words.
Please put out the light.
Who: Theodore Roosevelt (January 6, 1919)
Me mudda did it.
Who: Arnold Rothstein, a.k.a. Mr. Big, when asked who shot him

S
Put out the bloody cigarette!!
Who: Saki
Note: Last words before he was shot by a sniper.
For God's sake look after our people.
Who: Robert Falcon Scott.
Note: These were the last words he wrote in his diary, before he froze to death.
They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance.
These were among the final words of General John Sedgwick, Union Commander in the U.S. Civil War, who was hit by sniper fire a few minutes after saying them, at the battle of Spotsylvania, on May 9, 1864. They are often portrayed as if they were his absolute final statement, the sentence often being presented as if he did not even finish it, and altered into the form: "They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist...". Though this may be a slightly more striking version of events, it simply is not true. Apparently his last words were "All right, my man; go to your place," in response to a soldier telling him that he preferred to duck when being shot at, even from a great distance. - (External link: Death of General John Sedgwick)
Dying is easy, comedy is hard.
Who: George Bernard Shaw
Note: Said on his death bed.
Put me back on the bloody bike.
Who: Tom Simpson
Note: Tom Simpson was a cyclist who died on the Mont Ventoux, probably because of a combination of amphetamines, alcohol and the heat.
Oh Lord, my God!
Who: Joseph Smith, Jr. crying out while being shot by a mob inside his room. Some assert Smith's cry was a Masonic distress call for help as Smith and some of those within the mob which assassinated him were Masons.
My God, what's happened?
Who: Diana, Princess of Wales, 31 August 1997.
Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius. Will you remember to pay the debt?
Who: Socrates
Note: Asclepius was a Greek god of healing (his shrine is on the side of the Acropolis). It seems to many that Socrates considered death to be a relief, and thus was thanking the god for the service of killing him.
There will be a time when our silence will be more powerful than the voices you strangle today!
Who August Spies, anarchist Haymarket martyr, prior to his hanging.
What is the answer? [no response] In that case, what is the question?
Who Gertrude Stein, spoken to Alice B. Toklas.
¡Carajo, un balazo!
Translation: Damn! A bullet!
Who: Antonio José de Sucre, after being shot while riding his horse in the jungle in Colombia on his way home. He was said to be a fine gentleman who had never cursed until that day. According to Ricardo Palma's "Tradiciones en Salsa Verde" (Carajo is a slang word for a man's sexual organ).

T
Die, my dear doctor, that's the last thing I shall do!
Who: Henry John Temple, 3rd Viscount Palmerston
Jesus, I love you. Jesus, I love you.
Who: Mother Teresa (Sept 5, 1997)
Notes: Sister Nirmala Joshi recalled, "Just hours before her death, Mother Teresa spoke about the Little Flower, St. Therese. She has just been declared a ‘Doctor of the Church’ by Pope John Paul II. Her last words are: "Can you imagine, for doing little things with great love, the Church is making her a Doctor, like St. Augustine and the big St. Teresa! It is just like Jesus said in the Gospel to the one who was seated in the lowest place: "Friend, come up higher."
I just had eighteen straight scotches. I think that's the record...After thirty-nine years, this is all I've done.
Who: Dylan Thomas
Mihi vita immerenti eripitur; neque enim extat ullum meum factum paenitendum expecto dumtaxat uno.
Translation: I deserve not death, but I repent nothing else in my life except for one thing.
Who: Titus, Roman Emperor
Ein davar, tov lamut be'ad arzenu
Translation: Never mind; it is good to die for our country
Who: Joseph Trumpeldor (1880-1920)
Trumpeldor was a soldier and early pioneer/settler in Israel, he died defending the Tel-Hai settlment from an Arab attack.
Notes: Modern Israeli jocular rumor claims Trumpeldor's true last words were merely a juicy Russian curse.

V
All right then, I'll say it: Dante makes me sick.
Who: Lope de Vega, famous playwright, on being assured that the end was very near.
La Révolution est comme Saturne : elle dévore ses propres enfants.
Translation: The revolution, like Saturn, is devouring its own children.
Who: Pierre Vergniaud, French revolutionary
Vae, puto deus fio. (when he thought he was dying)
Translation: Dear me! I think I'm turning into a god...
Imperatorem stantem mori oportet. (when he was dying)
Translation: The Emperor has to die standing.
Who: Vespasian, Roman emperor
Source: Suetonius
Notes: And indeed, Vespasian was deified after his death
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Who: Francisco ("Pancho") Villa
Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
Who: Voltaire (attributed), when asked by a priest to renounce Satan