"Luckiest Loser"

[VERSE 1]
Man your really one heck of a guy
Best friend since junior high
You showed me Playboy for the very first time
That was rad
We saw Bon Jovi we sat in the front row
I pierced your ear right before the show
We stole your brother's beer and he didn't know

[1ST CHORUS]
Your new girlfriend is a son of a gun
Did you fall in love or did
You just want to get some
That girl is crazy she's a lo-co-motion
I know you know she used to be my girl
You'd better run for cover
Cause she's tickin like a time bomb
And did i mention that youbothsuck.com
Now your stuck with her
Like Mellencamp is stuck with cougar.
I guess that makes me the LUCKIEST LOSER

[VERSE 2]
I met her at a kegger past out in the yard
Gettin in her pants wasn't really that hard
6 months later she crashed my car
That was rad
She's got a glow from her spray on tan
Marilyn manson is her favorite band
I really think she might worship Satan, not a band

[2ND CHORUS]
Your new boyfriend is a son of a gun
Did you fall in love or did
You just want to get some
That girl is crazy she's a lo-co-motion
I know you know she used to be my girl
You should run for cover
Cause she's tickin like a time bomb
And did i mention that youbothsuck.com
Now she's stuck with you
Like a frat guy with a bad tattoo
Like celebrity golf with Alice Cooper
Guess that makes me the LUCKIEST LOSER

[BRIDGE]
Mel Gibson, Danny Glover you deserve each other
I'll leave the weapon when you take her home to
Meet your mother
She was a superstar, back seat of my car
Those days are over, now the night goes on yeah

[3RD CHORUS]
Your new girlfriend is a son of a gun
Did you fall in love
Or did you just want to get some
That girl is crazy she's a lo-co-motion
I know you know she used to be my girl
You'd better run for cover
Cause she's tickin like a time bomb
And did i mention that youbothsuck.com
Now your stuck wit her
Like Mellencamp is stuck with cougar.
Like number two on a pooper scooper
I guess that makes me te LUCKIEST LOSER

"Much More Beautiful Person"

Jeanie has a dad that might as well be dead.
A case of day habit every other kids.
She's a much more beautiful person
Then you'll ever know.
She hates the world
At least the one outside.
She's a Myspace kid livin a virtual life.
She's a much more beautiful person
Than she'll ever know.

[CHORUS]
Close your eyes and the time tick by.
In this life, it's OK to cry, sometimes.
It can be hard to see what's right in front of you.
You're gonna smile sometimes,
Your worlds will collide.
I know you're tired of waiting,
So when you're through with hating,
You'll be a much more beautiful person,
And now you know.
And now you know.

Tommy can't help but feelin alone,
Walking the halls with his head hung low.
And he's a much more beautiful person
Than he'll ever know.
High school kids can be so nasty
In a cut-throat war for popularity.
A much more beautiful person then he'll ever know.

[CHORUS]

And you don't feel so lucky,
But I've seen so many things in you.
Believe me, I know just what you're going through.
So stand up and take a bow,
Hold your head high
Don't ever let them get you down.
It's all about you
And it's not what they do.
You're gonna smile sometimes,
Your worlds will collide.
I know you're tired of waiting,
So when you're through with hating,
You'll ba a much more beautiful person
And now you know. And now you know.

"No Opinion"

Oh-oh
Oh-oh
Oh-oh
Oh-oh

She's a knock-out and she likes my favourite movies;
David Letterman and Chinese Delivery.
She loves Miller Light and watching Tyson fighting,
Hanging with my friends and football on a monday night.
But little did I know

She's morphing like a power ranger;
Really sweet but just don't ask her
What her favourite colour is if she knows you like brown.
She says her favourite band is Zeppelin;
Never heard "Stairway To Heaven".
Whatever she likes that day depends on who's around.

Even I've got standards, but I just don't understand her.
My soon to be history, never want to disagree girlfriend,
With absolutely no opinion

Oh-oh
Oh-oh

Seven weeks ago we caught you two in the city;
She saw my t-shirt she said Vertigo's her favourite song.
I stood and watched her shaking;
She tried to start a mosh-pit;
She sang along all night - got every single lyric wrong.
So sorry Bono.

She's morphing like a power ranger;
Really sweet but just don't ask her
What her favourite colour is if she knows you like brown.
She says her favourite band is Zeppelin;
Never heard "Stairway To Heaven".
Whatever she likes that day depends on who's around.

Even I've got standards, but I just don't understand her.
And that's why she's my
My soon to be history, never want to disagree girlfriend,
With absolutely no opinion

I took her to Baskin Robbins for Cookies and cream and mint chocolate chip;
She tore through a double scoop and then she said she was lactose intolerant.
I like yo-yo's, so she likes yo-yo's.
Why can't she just be herself and not do everything in life to please everyone else
(to please everyone else).

She's morphing like a power ranger;
Really sweet but just don't ask her
What her favourite colour is if she knows you like brown.
She says her favourite band is Zeppelin;
Never heard "Stairway To Heaven".
Whatever she likes that day depends on who's around.

Even I've got standards, but I just don't understand her.
And that's why she's my
My soon to be history, never want to disagree girlfriend,
With absolutely no opinion

Oh-oh
Oh-oh

"Sick Of Myslef"

You don't know how you move me
Deconstruct me
And consume me
I'm all used up
I'm out of luck
I am starstruck
By something in your eyes that is keeping my hope alive

But I'm sick of myself when I look at you
Something is beautiful and true
In a world that's ugly and a lie
It's hard to even want to try
And I'm beginning to think baby you don't know

I'll take or leave
The room to breathe
The choice to leave you
I'll throw away
A chance at greatness
Just to make this
Dream come into play, I don't know if I'll find a way

'cause I'm sick of myself when I look at you
Something is beautiful and true
In a world that's ugly and a lie
It's hard to even want to try
And I'm beginning to think baby you don't know
I'm beginning to think baby you don't know

There's something in your eyes that is keeping my hope alive
But I'm sick of myself when I look at you
Something is beautiful and true
In a world that's ugly and a lie
It's hard to even want to try
And I'm beginning to think baby you don't know
I'm beginning to think baby you don't know

"Sometimes"

You've got me under your thumb
Sometimes I feel so dumb
You put a smile on my face
But only sometimes

You make me weak in the knees
I think it's cute when you sneeze
I think you shoes are so cool
Sometimes

You talk too much for me to figure out my motivation
Don't you know that you're the only one

Sometimes it's not the things you say
Sometimes you're just in the way
Sometimes I feel like I can't live without you

Sometimes I swear you make me sick
Sometimes I just want to kiss you
And tell you I love you
Sometimes

You say you think I'm a square
Don't like the clothes that I wear
You know I really don't care
Well maybe Sometimes

We made out at the show
I think I should let you know
That you could sure use a breathmint
Sometimes

You talk too much for me to figure out my inspiration
Don't you know that you're the only one

Sometimes it's not the things you say
Sometimes you're just in the way
Sometimes I feel like I can't live without you

Sometimes I swear you make me sick
Sometimes I just want to kiss you
And tell you I love you
Sometimes

Now I'm not saying that I'm really any better
Man i swear shes such a pretty girl (pretty girl)
A pretty girl

I know she has her days
And looks at me exactly the same way

I know sometimes I bring ther down
But every once in a while
I make her smile

Sometimes it's not the things you say
Sometimes you're just in the way
Sometimes I feel like I can't live without you

Sometimes it's not the things you say
Sometimes you're just in the way
Sometimes I feel like I can't live without you

Sometimes I swear you make me sick
Sometimes I just want to kiss you
And tell you I love you
For you I'd eat tofu
And I don't like tofu
But you make me so happy
Sometimes

Sometimes
You make me so happy
Sometimes

Sometimes
You make me so happy
Sometimes

Sometimes
You make me so happy
Sometimes

"Spanish Harlem"

There is a rose in Spanish Harlem
A red rose up in Spanish Harlem
It is a special one, it's never seen the sun
It only comes out when the moon is on the run
And all the stars are gleaming
It's growing in the street right up through the concrete
It's soft and sweet and dreamin'

There is a rose in Spanish Harlem
There is a rose in Spanish Harlem
There is a rose in Spanish Harlem
There is a rose in Spanish Harlem

"Star Song"

You got your tongue pierced once
And you say you got another
That you can't show anyone unless it's under covers
But you're running around showing everyone your new tattoo
You got an A in class and you hope no one would notice
You're the smartest kid in school and it makes you self conscious
And your loser boyfriend's smoking out in the boy's room
I wish someone would tell you

You're a star the way you are
You know you're not fooling anyone, no
You got the eyes of an angel
Don't try to change, yeah
Everybody's got their scars
No matter what they tell you you're beautiful the way you are

And your mama's so happy you became a cheerleader
Homecoming queen just like your older sister
'til you died your hair pink and they said what were you drinkin
And it never did sink in
It don't matter what they think

You're a star the way you are
You know you're not fooling anyone, no
You got the eyes of an angel
Don't try to change, yeah
Everybody's got their scars
Nevermind how ugly they are
No matter what they tell you you're beautiful the way you are

All the way you are
All the way you are
All the way you are

You're a star the way you are
You know you're not fooling anyone, no
You got the eyes of an angel
Don't try to change, yeah
Everybody's got their scars
No matter what they tell you you're beautiful the way you are

You're a star the way you are
You know you're not fooling anyone, no
You got the eyes of an angel
Don't try to change, yeah
Everybody's got their scars
Nevermind how ugly they are
No matter what they tell you you're beautiful the way you are

You're a star the way you are
You know you're not fooling anyone, no
You got the eyes of an angel
No matter what they tell you you're beautiful the way you are
No matter what they tell you you're beautiful the way you are
No matter what they tell you you're beautiful the way you are

"Undertow"

Another roller coaster ride,
We were stuck, in overdrive,
You were broken-hearted; I was all right,
When I met you....

She tried to ditch me and I tried to hate her,
But we're still here ten break-ups later.
I've got this figured out, but I still don't understand her,
She's like the perfect wave in a shark infested sea.

When she breaks, she rains down on me,
And I can't catch my breath,
But I won't let 'er go...
Yes, I feel at home in the undertow.

My friends told me "Man you're gonna crash,
A car like that'll knock you on your ass
I told 'em all that they could eat our dust,
And we're still truckin' on...

[Chorus]

Seems like I never win, I never learned how to swim,
I spend my whole life treadin' water...
You got me off of the beach and now I'm back in the reef,
You can be my life preserver...
Ba-ba-da-ba [x6] (hold the last "ba")

I've got this figured out, but I still don't understand her,
She's like the perfect wave in a shark infested sea.

When she breaks, she rains down on me,
And I can't catch my breath,
But I won't let 'er go...
Yes, I feel at home in the undertow.

I've got this figured out, but I still don't understand her,
She's like the perfect wave in a shark infested sea.

When she breaks, she rains down on me,
And I can't catch my breath,
But I won't let 'er go...
Yes, I feel at home in the undertow... [x3]

"Val Kilmer"

I always thought my movie
Would be a comedy
Not quite the tragedy that its become
More slapstick than chickflick
More Caddyshack than Breakfast At Tiffany's
So, thank me at the podium
For a lifetime of contribution
Turn on the cameras
Someone cue the extras
Hair and makeup to the set

Because the big screen's calling
Final casting call
Its your big shot baby your the next big star
On another stupid movie
'bout a guy with a broken heart
Is falling apart
Your headed for the cutting room floor
And in the sequel honey
I'm the guy who gets the girl

So if you miss my movie
Get the DVD
Check out the chemistry
Between you and me
Less 'Raising Arizona'
More 'Steel Magnolias'
So when you walk down that red carpet
I hope you trip and fall
I hope someone squirts you with a watergun
A super soaker filled with pee

Because the big screen's calling
Final casting call
Its your big shot baby your the next big star
On another stupid movie
About a guy with a broken heart
Is falling apart
Your headed for the cutting room floor
And in the sequel honey
I'm the guy who gets the girl

All apologies
To Kevin Costner
and that chick from monster
Give me Adam Sandler,
Will Ferrell, Belushi and even Val Kilmer
He was funny in 'Real Genius'

[Greg]
What about 'Top Gun'?
[Jaret]
No, 'Top Gun' wasn't funny
[Greg]
Whatever

Top secret was funny too
But he sucked as Batman

Because the big screen's calling
Final casting call
Its your big shot baby your the next big star
On another stupid movie
About a guy with a broken heart
Is falling apart

Steven Spielberg's calling and he's sending a car
It's your big shot baby, you're the next big star
Of another stupid movie
About a guy with a broken heart
Who's falling apart
Your headed for the cutting room floor
But in the sequel honey
I'm the guy who gets the girl

I'm the guy that gets the girl [repeat until the end]

[BACKGROUND (repeat until the end):]
Adam Sandler, Will Ferrell, BRIGHTelushi and Akroid, Chris Farley, Bill Murray in 'Stripes'.
Eddie Murphy till 90, Chris Rock and John Candy, the cast of Hollywood Knights.
Mike Myers, Jim Carrey and the Farelly Brothers are more my style.
'Terms of Endearment' I didn't get it.
I'd much rather shut up and smile.

"When We Die"

Well, I know that it's early
And it's too hard to think
And the broken empty bottles
Are reminder in the sink
But I thought that I should tell you
If it's not to late to say
I could put back all the pieces,
They just might not fit the same

Nothing's worth losing
Especially the chance to make it right

And I know that we're gonna be fine
And the tattooed mistakes
Are gonna fade over time
As long as we live, time passes by
And we won't get it back when we die

Well, I know it's been years now,
And I don't look the same
And the hopes and dreams you had for me
You thought went down the drain.
And the room feels so empty
where my pictures used to be
And I can't say that I blame you,
But you can't blame me

Cuz nothing's worth losing
Especially the chance to make it right

And I know that we're gonna be fine
And the tattooed mistakes are gonna fade over time
As long as we live, time passes by
And we won't get it back when we die

Come over
Come over

Cause I gotta know,
If I am doing this all on my own

Come over
Come over

How can I show you if you're not here

And I know that we're gonna be fine
And the tattooed mistakes
Are gonna fade over time
As long as we live, time passes by
And we won't get it back when we die

And I know that we're gonna be fine
And the tattooed mistakes
are gonna fade over time
As long as we live, time passes by
And we won't get it back when we die

Come over
Come over

Wooohooohooohaaaaawwww