The Point System


For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works.   Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the points system:

  SIMPLE DUTIES
  You make the bed.....+1
   You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows...0
   You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.....-1
   You leave the toilet seat up.....-5
   You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty.....0
   When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex.-1
   When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom.... -2
   You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings...+5
   In the snow +8
   But return with beer.....-5
   And no liners.....-25
   You check out a suspicious noise at night.....0
   You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing.....0
   You check out a suspicious noise and it is something.....+5
   You pummel it with a six iron.....+10
   It's her cat.....-40


   AT THE PARTY
  You stay by her side the entire party.....0
   You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with
   a College drinking buddy.....-2
   Named Tiffany.....-4
   Tiffany is a dancer.....-10
   With breast implants.....-18


   HER BIRTHDAY
  You remember her birthday.....0
   You buy a card and flowers.....0
   You take her out to dinner.....0
   You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar....+1
   Okay, it is a sports bar.....-2
   And it's all-you-can-eat night.....-3
   It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your
   face is painted the colors of your favorite team -10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
  Go with a pal.....0
   The pal is happily married.....+1
   The pal is single.....-7
   He drives a Ferrari.....-10
   With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED).....-15


   A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
  You take her to a movie.....+2
   You take her to a movie she likes.....+4
   You take her to a movie you hate.....+6
   You take her to a movie you like.....-2
   It's called Death Cop III.....-3
   Which features Cyborgs that crush human skulls.....-9
   You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans..-15


   YOUR PHYSIQUE
  You develop a noticeable pot belly.....-15
   You develop a noticeable pot belly &exercise to get rid
   of it.....+10
   You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose
   jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts.....-30
   You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too.".....-800


   THE BIG QUESTION:
   She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
   You hesitate in responding.....-10
   You reply, "Where?".....-35
   You reply, "No, I think it's your ass".....-100
   Any other response.....-20


COMMUNICATION:
   When she wants to talk about a problem:
   You listen, displaying a concerned _expression.....0
   You listen, for over 30 minutes.....+5
   You relate to her problem and share a similar experience..+50
   You're mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her
   saying" well, what do you think I should do?".....-100
   You have fallen asleep.....-200

ITS THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
  You talk.....-100
   You don't talk.....-150
   You spend time with her......-200
   You don't spend time with her.....-500
   You seem to be enjoying yourself..-1000


   GAME OVER - YOU LOSE

 

 

zanimljivo