We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules:
•   Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1.
•   Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that
1.
•   Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1.
•   Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be
1.
•   Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1.
•   Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
•   Subtle hints do not work!
•   Strong hints do not work!
•   Obvious hints do not work!
•   JUST SAY IT!
1.
•   ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question
1.
•   Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for
1.
•   A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor
1.
•   Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days
1.
•   If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us
•   1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
•   1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done
•   Not both
•   If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself
1.
•   You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done
•   Not both
•   If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself
1.
•   Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials
1.
•   Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we

1.
•   ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
•   Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
•   We have no idea what mauve is.
1.
•   If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1.
•   If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle
1.
•   If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear
1.
•   If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear
1.
•   When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, Really
•   1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as:
•   Sex,
•   Sport, or
•   Cars
1.
•   You have enough clothes
1.
•   You have too many shoes
1.
I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1.
Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education