I love the suds that wink at me.
I love the fact that they are free.
I sit at the inn and suck ‘em down.
I drink so fast I almost drowned.
The barman tells me I should quit.
There is no chance that I’d do that.
Tonight’s the only night I’ve got
To suck free beers, I drink a lot.
Time marches on and soon I’m soused.
I’m drinking free beers on the house!
I cannot speak, I cannot see.
Strange sensations bother me.
I try to rise and fall right down.
I start to crawl along the ground.
The drinkers laugh and point with glee
I try to stand so I can pee.
I cannot stand, I need some help
I get none, then I piss myself.
I’m crawling toward the swinging door.
I drag my ass across the floor.
Totally blitzed, completely shot
Completely sane, I am not.
My pants are wet, my shoes untied.
I need someplace where I can hide.
I crawl along the sidewalks dark.
I crawl into a nearby park.
A bush offers me a place to rest.
I slide beneath it on my chest.
The world of darkness closes in
And now I’m paying for my sin.
For when the sun next morning shines
I find a world of pain and whine.
For I know now it is no joke
I spent the night in poison oak!